Friday, December 12, 2014

Andrew Scott Hall at the Comedy Studio

Hey, everyone, here is my latest stand-up set at the Comedy Studio in Cambridge, MA. Those of you who have known me for a while will recognize old jokes as well as new takes on some other ones. I hope you enjoy this.

You may notice that I'm resurrecting an old YouTube channel. This will make it much, much easier for me in a variety of ways that you probably aren't interesting in knowing.

The long and short of it is: Please Subscribe.



Monday, December 1, 2014

Hundreds Of Fundamentalists Protest Space At Kennedy Space Center

promoting Satan?

Kennedy Space Center, Florida Fundamentalist Christians have reported that they have thronged at the front gate of Kennedy Space Center to assert the literal reading of the Bible which states that the sky is indeed a solid dome. Several protesters proudly held a banner that had Genesis 1: 6-8 emblazoned on it:
God said, “Let there be a dome in the middle of the water; let it divide the water from the water.”  God made the dome and divided the water under the dome from the water above the dome; that is how it was, and God called the dome Sky. So there was evening, and there was morning, a second day.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Grandmothers Everywhere Prepare To Guilt Their Grandchildren To Jesus This Holiday Season

Billy and Grandma are on their way to see Jesus!

Everytown, America - Grandmothers across the nation are preparing for holiday visits from family
members by wrapping presents AND preparing to lead their children's children to Christ. As the agnostic/atheist and simply religiously apathetic number of mothers and fathers grow, the burden of spiritual guilting the younger generation has fallen onto Nana.

"Spiritual Guilting has traditionally been executed by the mother," stated religious studies expert, Dr Ryan Kannard. "How this manifests itself is partially based on the faith background of the mom. With Christianity, for example, Jesus' suffering on the cross can be invoked to guilt the child into going to church as well as finishing his or her fish sticks at supper."  

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Thousands Rally Against Evolution in Houston

Charles Darwin better
 not show his head 'round here!
- anonymous protester 
Sunday morning thousands of Christians who regard the Bible as the inerrant word of God met and stood together against the theory of evolution. The event called We Stand Sunday was organized by a confederation of evangelicals called DAWKINS (Darwin Argued Wrongly and Kids Intelligently Need Saving). The pro-biblical crowd met in the parking lot of the Hobby Lobby on 5th and Main. It was their stated intent to protect their "religious freedom" from the workings of big city government.

Monday, October 27, 2014

City Mandates Children Wear Police-Style Body Cams Around Priests

Local officials tell Catholics, "It's for the kids."

Cambridge, MA Alfred Cunnard, City Manager, has signed a bill mandating that any child under the age of 14 who is within eye shot of a Catholic Priest must wear a body cam similar to the ones that many police departments have recently adopted.

The new law is filed under the Title 9 Public Peace, Morals, and Welfare city ordinances.

The official body cam for
Cambridge, MA youths.
(b) Whenever a child [as defined as anyone under 14 years of age] is within the viewing distance of a person who is recognized as an official of the Roman Catholic Church, he or she shall be equipped with two (2) body cameras.
The first of the two cameras will be worn on the ventral (front) side and the second will be secured on the dorsal (back) side of the child.
What is considered within viewing distance is not determined by the Church official, rather, it is determined by the range of vision enjoyed by a person with 20/20 sight.
Whoever, having care and custody of a child, wantonly or recklessly permits unrecorded access of that child to a Church official shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than two and one-half years in the house of correction.

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