Laughing in Purgatory

An Atheist Theme Park About Religion

2012-01-29T14:01:00.000-08:00

The family and I are going to Disney World in April, and the upcoming trip got me wondering. What if there was an educational theme park created by atheists about religion? And I'm not talking about a park dedicated to only Christianity either. There would be the Mohammed's Flight to Medina roller coaster as well as the Stations of the Cross mini car racetrack. However, it wouldn't be all fun and games at the Asylum (the tentative name of the park). There would be an educational aspect, just like Epcot. I propose building a Hall of Menstruation where men and women alike can learn God's rules (ahem, the Jewish God) concerning Niddah -- that certain time of the month. Here are a only a few of Yahweh's regulations that visitors can learn.

From the onset of a woman's menstrual period certain behaviors which cause the couple to be physically or passionately close together are forbidden. Not following these laws is very serious as it is expressly forbidden to come close to those with whom it is forbidden to have sexual relations.

When the woman is niddah it is forbidden for the couple to behave frivolously with one another. Joking around is expressly forbidden. Of course, the couple should not be cold or nasty towards one another. Arguments should be avoided if possible.

Even the slightest physical contact is absolutely forbidden. Additionally, they may not pass each other objects from one hand to another, as that might lead to inadvertent physical contact. One should also not touch the clothes of their spouse (while they are being worn) when the woman is niddah. (There is no restriction regarding clothing which is not being worn.)

It is permissible to throw things from one to another. However, it is commendable to be strict in this matter, and not to throw directly from one to another.

They should not light each others cigarettes since this brings closeness. However, it is permissible for a wife to hold the Havdalah candle.

On a rainy day they may walk under the same umbrella as long as they are careful not to touch.

Oh, there are more rules, believe me. You can either wait to learn the rest until the theme park has officially opened or click here.

LiP

Hate Mail From A Hindu

2012-01-29T05:48:00.000-08:00

This post has some explicit content to it. If you don't like explicit language than you shouldn't read this post.

I received this email from praks_1290@hotmail.com

Is it possible, to sleep with your mum, because i love to unleash my dragon (you know the one between my legs) up your mum's ass to become your half brother half farther. After that, I want to fuck your cousins (female of course) so I can become your half cousin.

This gentleman also left a comment on the Hinduism Still Sucks post that I deleted. I'm guessing praks is a Hindu. In my time reading other people's blogs I haven't seen any hatemail from Hindus, so I think I'm in a very selective club.

Joy.

LiP

Hinduism And Burning Women Alive

2012-01-28T07:42:00.000-08:00

India under British rule.

I was sitting at my kids' karate studio the other day and reading through the India Times. I found this article Dowry death: One bride burnt every hour. My jaw dropped as I read the piece. I can't remember the last time an article stunned me so much.

In a crime that is prevalent only in India, greedy husbands and his relatives harass the newly wed bride for getting more dowry, and often kill her in the process. And, very often, she is burnt alive. This horror is therefore called bride-burning or in official terms, dowry death.

When I try to wrap my mind around this, I can feel individuals neurons bursting. How does a person understand such insanity? Well, at least there must be fewer brides getting immolated than there were, let's say, in the past decade. After all, India is the world's largest democracy, and isn't history on the side of Enlightenment virtues?

In 2010, there were 8391 reported cases of dowry death in the country. That works out to a shocking one death every hour approximately. Bride-burning is on the increase - just a decade ago, in 2000, there were 6995 cases.

Apparently not.

Although the government prohibited dowry through legislation in 1961, it was never implemented properly. Prohibition officers were supposed to have been appointed in each district, taking the battle to the grassroots but nothing happened. And, the tide of greed driven murder of young brides continued unabated.

...But perhaps the primary reason for spread of this cancer has been the almost complete absence of any public campaign or mobilization against it for the past 25 years. As a result, girls are considered a burden on the parents, families go bankrupt trying to get their daughters married off, choice in forming relations is frowned upon and thousands - maybe lakhs - of young women suffer violence silently behind closed doors.

I found another article concerning dowry death: Bride Burning and dowry deaths in India: Gruesome and Escalating Violence on Women. This article points to a major cause of the misogynistic practice: Hinduism.

In fact, most dowry deaths have occurred in the upper strata of Hindu communities, i.e., the Brahmins (the caste of priests cum the Kings' policy-makers), Kshatriyas (the caste of warriors now-turned politicians), and Vaishyas (the traders now-transformed sponsors of conservative parties). Most killing of women for non-payment of "promised" dowry have so far occurred in the urban affluent upper-caste Hindu communities.

The author of the paper, Rani Jethmalani, a now deceased lawyer who had worked in India's Supreme court, found five reasons why the barbaric practice continues:

1) retention of the caste system, (2) undermining of the woman by the religious orthodox and social patriarch making herself and her family vulnerable to socio-economic pressure and extortion, (3) ever-increasing greed of the bridegroom and his family, (4) an economically strangled hyperpopulated society non-supportive of unmarried women, and (5) a morally depraved political system run by the pro-status quo conservatives.

Caste, for those of you not aware of it, is a rigid hierarchical social system which people are born into, and native to India. There is no movement from one caste to another. If your parents were untouchables then you are a untouchable along with your future children. Of course, it's your own damn fault (religion always tells it's adherents it's their own damn fault), because you must have been very bad in your past life to be reborn in such a crappy caste.

As if the story couldn't get any more strange, there is a new video game to combat killing brides called Angry Brides.

To play the game, users have to try and hit three dodging grooms — a pilot, builder and doctor. There is a wide array of weapons to choose from, including a stiletto shoe, a frying pan, broomstick, tomato and loafer.

Each groom has a price tag, starting at 1.5 million rupees ($29,165). Every time the player hits a groom, his value decreases and money is added to the player’s Anti-Dowry Fund, which is saved posted on their Facebook page.

See, if only we had video games in the US during Segregation the whole Civil Rights movement could have been avoided by winning the hearts and minds of bigots through pixels.

This is Purgatory.

Seven Good Reasons Why I'm Converting!

2012-01-26T08:11:00.000-08:00

First off, let me assure you that I am not converting to any religion. But who amongst us haven't personally known or heard of someone who has converted to another faith? I've always been fascinated on what causes a person to go from Catholicism, let's say, to Judaism. So here are seven reasons why people convert.

I'm totally into Yahweh if you are.

7. I'm dating someone (or hoping to date someone) who is religious.

Dating is fraught with dangers. I once chatted up a girl who was a Moonie in the hope of getting laid. Even though I was unsuccessful in my goal, I did get a nice spaghetti dinner at Moonie HQ in London. Another one of my old girlfriends was into EST, and though it wasn't a religion, per se the organization had many culty characteristics.

Awesome architecture! I'm converting to that religion!

6 and 5. Gosh, I really like the religion's repetitious ramblings, and they do have pretty buildings.

Liam Neeson, a good actor but poor thinker, made a few statements the other day on why he is considering switching to Islam from Catholicism.

The Northern Ireland actor, who comes from a Catholic background, told the newspaper that the call to prayer in Istanbul drove him to distraction for the first week of filming but he then began to find it "the most beautiful, beautiful thing".
Neeson, a former altar boy in Ballymena, said: "There are 4,000 mosques in the city. Some are just stunning and it really makes me think about becoming a Muslim."

You know, when I was in high school and reading the comic New Mutants I decided to stop collecting the title because the whole look of the series changed due to getting a new team of artists. I would hope the reason for changing faiths would be a bit better thought out than that.

Less blood and guts, but
it still makes no sense.

4. My new religion isn't as bad as my old religion.

I like to call this the Unitarian Universalist Gambit. Many rational people find the out right insanity of their native faith to be unbearable. However, they still cling on to the erroneous belief that the universe cares about what they do, and that all fairy tales need to be respected. Unitarian Universalism is where they can cherry pick all the nice humanitarian aspects from all the religions, while ignoring the 98% of the sh*t.

3. My new faith makes sense, unlike the old one.

You hear this a lot, too. For example, a convert to Christianity may say that Ganesha, the Hindu deity that has an elephant's head and rides on a giant mouse is absurd, but a talking snake makes all the sense in the world.

God says it's true so it's true!
How do I know that?
The bible says so.

2. Once I heard the Word, I knew it was true!

It doesn't matter what word is involved: Christian, Jewish, Hindu,whatever. Once some people start reading those words, the divine truth is revealed. Here is what the Maverick Philosopher, Michael Sidduth, has to say about his conversion experience from Christianity to a form of Hinduism.

I found myself profoundly affected by this text. Krishna’s words would stay with me, often arising spontaneously in my mind at times of crisis.They not only instilled a wonderful serenity in me, gradually they began illuminating many aspects of my life and relationship to God.

I got quite a bit of insight regarding the human condition from watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Does that mean Buffy is a goddess? Maybe these feelings are not the best way of discerning the ultimate nature of reality.

What crazy feels like.

1. I've experienced a psychotic episode.

This is the classic Paul's Road to Damascus experience. A person has some kind of break from reality and BAM! he or she has got religion. Here is Paul's experience,

As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”
“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.
“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. ⁶ “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.” - Acts 9: 3-6
Hearing a disembodied voice that tells you what to do, seeing flashes of light, and suffering from hysterical blindness (Paul was blind for three days) are all characteristics of mental illness. Paul didn't need God, what the man needed was a CAT scan of his brain and medication

What Do Protestant Pastors Believe?

2012-01-25T12:31:00.000-08:00

This is scary. Predictable, but scary. One thousand Protestant ministers were surveyed and here are some of the answers.

You can find the rest of the results here.

LiP

Reading 1 Kings

2012-01-25T07:23:00.000-08:00

New definition for the word biblical:
f*cked up sh*t.

As many of you know, I'm currently reading through the "good book". You learn a lot from reading God's word. Please allow me to share the wonders that I have found.

The new king of Israel needed to settle old scores.

It is not unusual that when a transfer of power occurs in a tyrannical system people get killed. This can happen even during a peaceful transition. It's considered something like cleaning house -- getting rid of the garbage, and starting off on a new foot. In 1 Kings, David officially gives power to his son, Solomon, after one of David's other son's, Adonijah, initiates an unsuccessful coup. David's final words to Solomon include the basic Do what Yahweh says or you're toast line. He also gives a short list of people to kill

“Now you yourself know what Joab son of Zeruiah did to me—what he did to the two commanders of Israel’s armies, Abner son of Ner and Amasa son of Jether. He killed them, shedding their blood in peacetime as if in battle, and with that blood he stained the belt around his waist and the sandals on his feet. Deal with him according to your wisdom, but do not let his gray head go down to the grave in peace. 1 Kings 2: 5-6

and

“And remember, you have with you Shimei son of Gera, the Benjamite from Bahurim, who called down bitter curses on me the day I went to Mahanaim. When he came down to meet me at the Jordan, I swore to him by the LORD: ‘I will not put you to death by the sword.’ But now, do not consider him innocent. You are a man of wisdom; you will know what to do to him. Bring his gray head down to the grave in blood.” 1 Kings 2: 8-9

So much for freedom of speech in David's and Solomon's Israel. One does not have the right to call down bitter curses on the head of government. I wonder how many AM radio talk show hosts would be sentenced to death if we upheld that rule today?

Solomon, being a wise and faithful son to his fathers memory was able to slay Joab, Shimei, as well as his brother, Adonijah.

Another reason why God-centered government stinks.

However, being God's king requires more than simply killing folk. There is the boring task of appointing ministers and/or cabinet positions in one's government. Just as the contemporary American President has to fill important positions, so does Solomon. It's easy to gloss over lists of names (you know, the begats) sections of the Bible, but occasionally there is some wacky stuff to be found there.

So King Solomon ruled over all Israel. And these were his chief officials:

Azariah son of Zadok—the priest;

Elihoreph and Ahijah, sons of Shisha—secretaries;

Jehoshaphat son of Ahilud—recorder;

Benaiah son of Jehoiada—commander in chief;

Zadok and Abiathar—priests;

Azariah son of Nathan—in charge of the district governors;

Zabud son of Nathan—a priest and adviser to the king;

Ahishar—palace administrator;

Adoniram son of Abda—in charge of forced labor.
1 Kings 4: 1-6

Forced labor, eh? And forced labor back then doesn't mean that the workers had crappy benefits and weren't eligible for overtime. These people were slaves. Adoniram's cabinet position would have been Secretary of Slavery. And what did these slaves do? They were forced to construct monuments to the tyrant and the tyrant's god.

Here is the account of the forced labor King Solomon conscripted to build the LORD’s temple, his own palace, the terraces, the wall of Jerusalem, and Hazor, Megiddo and Gezer. 1 Kings 9 :15

You would think a group of people who had reportedly been slaves in Egypt would have some perspective on the nature of forced labor. That the God who freed them from bondage would have the insight to say, Hey, slavery is not OK -- knock it off!

But God wants what He wants. And after all there were all these people in the kingdom that were just hanging around, taking up space.

There were still people left from the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites (these peoples were not Israelites).Solomon conscripted the descendants of all these peoples remaining in the land—whom the Israelites could not exterminate—to serve as slave labor, as it is to this day. But Solomon did not make slaves of any of the Israelites; they were his fighting men, his government officials, his officers, his captains, and the commanders of his chariots and charioteers. 1 Kings 9:20 -22

That is what I call divine love: If you can't exterminate all the undesirables, then simply make them slaves.

If you worship God and you are for animal rights, then you are doing one of those things wrong.

Once the temple got built it was time to throw a big party. And what says Old Testament party like sacrificing a few animals to the Almighty? But the building of the temple party wasn't just any run-of-the-mill celebration. God was going to dwell with His people and hang out in there. Many, many animals needed to be killed to celebrate this august house warming.

Then the king and all Israel with him offered sacrifices before the LORD. Solomon offered a sacrifice of fellowship offerings to the LORD: twenty-two thousand cattle and a hundred and twenty thousand sheep and goats. So the king and all the Israelites dedicated the temple of the LORD. 1 Kings 8:62-63

That's a lot of death.

But Yahweh is a god of death,

and slavery.

This is Purgatory.

The Joy Of Being An Atheist

2012-01-24T03:14:00.000-08:00

I found this on LOL God.

The Religion Of Peace Strikes Again!

2012-01-23T10:42:00.000-08:00

He's hoping to kill
a lot of Jews.

Do you want to feel better about America's political discourse during this election season? Does Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and Mittens bring bile to your throat? It's time to feel better!

Why?

It could always be worse -- much, much worse.

Take this article I found on Think Progress: At Fatah Event, Palestinian Cleric Recites Sermon For Killing Jews. I clicked over to the Reuters article and found it just wasn't some crazy imam off the street who wandered into a Palestinian event spewing Kill the Jews! No. This was the Palestinians top cleric, Mohammed Hussein, reciting this piece of the Hadith (sayings attributed to Mohammed), at Fatah's birthday bash

"The hour of judgment will not come until you fight the Jews," he said. "The Jew will hide behind the stone and behind the tree. The stone and the tree will cry, 'Oh Muslim, Oh Servant of God, this is a Jew behind me, come and kill him'."

I just want to point out that there is a very small cognitive step one takes from believing in a talking snake to thinking that stones and trees will talk to you. Once you cross that line any such absurdity naturally flows into a pit of tragedy. I'm reminded of one of Voltaire's famous quotes: Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices. However, it would be wrong to blame Mr Hussein for all of the anti-Jewish filth being spewed at the event. He had someone warm up the crowd for him...

Video of the rally circulated by Palestinian Media Watch (PMW), an Israeli watchdog group, showed a man introducing the mufti [Mr Hussein] by saying: "Our war with the descendants of the apes and pigs is a war of religion and faith. Long live Fatah!"

You learn something new everyday. I never realized that Jews were the descendants of apes and pigs. But guess what? If the Koran said it, then it has to be true!

The Koran retells the Exodus story of some Jews rebelling against Moses after their deliverance from bondage, and says God punished them by turning them into pigs and apes.

The Palestinian Authority quickly moved to resolve any questions of what the head cleric's statement really meant.

Palestinian religious affairs minister Mahmoud al-Habash confirmed the details of the rally as they appeared in the PMW video but said: "Our political position remains unchanged. We believe in peace. He (Hussein) was simply quoting a Hadith that talks about destiny, about what could happen in the future."

The man of God wasn't talking about killing Jews right now, just about killing Jews in the future.

Don't you feel better about the American political system now?

For those of you have want to see the video, here it is.

This is Purgatory...

that is Hell.

Mitt Romney's Success And Mormonism

2012-01-22T04:33:00.000-08:00

Do you want to know the secret of how to illuminate how insane religion is?
Just look at the facts.
In our superstitious (ie religious) culture the sanctity of religion conceals the absurdities of faith. The doctrines of fairy tales and immoral behavior are clothed in respect. It is the person which points out that the Emperor has no clothes who is upsetting the applecart, and not the supporters of the regal faith-based fashion who are stigmatized by the herd. The religious often times has an air of arrogance based on this maladaptive societal protection they enjoy. And that arrogance leads them to reveal how mad the so-called wise men really are.

Take David Brooks piece in the New York Times The Wealth Issue. In it he argues that Mitt Romney's personality was shaped by his family's history of dogged work ethic rather than wealth.

Mitt Romney is a rich man, but is Mitt Romney’s character formed by his wealth? Is Romney a spoiled, cosseted character? Has he been corrupted by ease and luxury?

The notion is preposterous. All his life, Romney has been a worker and a grinder. He earned two degrees at Harvard simultaneously (in law and business). He built a business. He’s persevered year after year, amid defeat after defeat, to build a political career.

Although this is election season, and it's in vogue to only demonize candidates who one isn't going to vote for, I agree with David Brooks: Romney isn't some punk who hasn't put the work in. The article continues stating the principle that one's success is often times the result of the work one's ancestors have done. I also agree with that. Both my wife and I are the first people in our respective families to hold four year college degrees. As a direct result of the two of us being educated, our young children, Will and Ali, even now carry with them our expectations that they too will go to college, and probably enjoy a margin of material success.

However, Mr. Brooks in the search to confirm his own pro-religion bias attempts to meld Mormonism with Mitt's drive to succeed. And here is where any sane person sees how generations of Mitt's ancestors were abused by the faith.

Mitt's great-grandfather, Miles, married his wife, Hannah, and a month later Brigham Young commanded (yes, Brooks uses the word to describe the relationship between the Mormon despot, Young, and his adherent) him to go to Britain for missionary work. Hannah works at doing other people's laundry while he is gone.
Miles returned and was commanded by Brigham Young to take another wife.
The family was then commanded to move into a new settlement 300 miles south of Salt Lake City.
After the move, Miles was commanded to move to Arizona.
Brigham Young was still not satisfied with the family's location commanded them move to Mexico.
After Mitt's dad was born in Mexico, the revolution forced them back to the States where the family made its money.

Oh, the Romney's have been molded by Mormonism, alright.

Just like an abused kid has been sculpted by abusive parents.

The argument that Mitt's ancestors benefited by Brigham Young's abuse and achieved material success because of the commands is dubious to say the least. I would counter that Mitt's ancestors succeeded despite Mormonism. Religion has a way of turning people who are naturally gifted and motivated into automatons where those abilities are squandered.

But you know this.

This is Purgatory.

Behold! A Morning In The Life Of An Atheist Family

2012-01-20T10:14:00.000-08:00

What? Atheists have families?
Do they steal children
from Christians?

Sometimes I wonder what religious folk think about atheist families. Of course, many theists don't think too much about the godless unless they are being spoon fed information from "reliable" sources like AM Hate radio, the Pope, or FOX News. And in those moments we atheists are depicted as out to undermine America (didn't you know we are all commies?), apple pie, and Mom.
So here it is! I am going to blow the lid off the secret life of an atheist family in one of the most godless states in the union: Massachusetts. For the sake of this post, I'm going to use this past Wednesday morning (1/18). Prepare to be shocked with stories of devil worship and baby eating!

5:30 AM
I wake up at work. I've been working with male survivors of head trauma for the past 17 years, and two of my shifts per week I get to sleep on a crappy couch. Seeing that I work two days a week (yes, I get 40 hours in), I'm able to be with my kids Mon-Thurs.

7:00 AM
After I give out medication to the men, and fill out required paperwork I get to drive home in the 5 year-old Corolla we just bought last year. The Wife is at home, and gets our two kids up, Will and Ali (9 and 6 years-old). Breakfast is served shortly afterwards.

7:45 AM
Will and Ali have already finished breakfast, brushed their teeth, and picked up their rooms (organizing their rooms is a normal chore for them before leaving the house). Ali has also fed our ancient dog, Ruby. Now they start studying their weekly spelling list.

7:45 AM
I pop two Advil (I have minor chronic pain in my back and neck) that I keep in my car as I grab a low-fat muffin at Dunkin' Donuts.

7:50 AM
I get home. I say my good mornings and proceed to wander around the house a bit before figuring out that I really need to brush my teeth. I brush my teeth. Everyone is happy.

8:00 AM
I sit down with Will and review his guitar lesson. He practices for 15 minutes. Afterwards, we talk about the piece he has practiced.

8:15 AM
I sit down with Ali and review her piano pieces she has been practicing. She practices for 15 minutes and we talk about the merits of arching one's fingers while playing (people who play the instrument know what I'm talking about).

8:34 AM
The Wife comments on what a good father I am. I haven't had any caffeine yet so I can't think of a clever response. I am forced to take the compliment. Drats.

8:35 AM
The kids play for the next ten minutes. I wash the dishes (no, we don't have a dishwasher) from breakfast.

8:45 AM
It's go time. The kids get their jackets and backpacks on. The last thing I say to them as they head out the door to the bus stop is Work hard and be good. I say that to them everyday as they leave for school. Really, every school day. (I read in The Social Animal, by David Brooks, that it is more productive to nurture a child's work ethic than telling the child how smart he or she is. Intelligence is seen as an inborn trait, while anyone can work hard. Another piece of information I gleaned from the book Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell, is that the odds of getting a Nobel prize does not increase if one's IQ is over 120. Success is about having a good work ethic. But I digress.)

8:55 AM
The Wife leaves for work. Although she is a social worker (MSW), most of her job is managing people. The organization she works for provides services for the elderly, children, and troubled families. Oh, she's an atheist (though less militant-y than me), too. Often times she doesn't get back from her job until 9pm. Today will be a bit easier on her since she will be back at 8pm.

9:00 AM
I log onto the internet and figure out that today is the day that many sites are down in protest to the SOPA bill in congress. I find a funny little video, The Day the LOLcats Died, and decide to post it on Purgatory as my bit in the resistance.

9:30 AM
I go to the gym. I hate the gym. I hate working out. I hate it all. However, since I have this crappy body that has low muscle tone (hypotonia) if I don't workout my minor chronic pain becomes not so minor. Joy.

10:00 AM
I decide to avoid the gym for a bit of time and stop off at the coffee shop nearby. I fill my cup with half decafe and half regular. If I drink too much caffeine I get migraines. How did I figure out the connection between my intake of caffeine and getting migraines? Trial and error - painful trial and error. I read chapter five of the Christian Delusion, The Cosmology of the Bible. An interesting note, that while I'm reading the chapter, I'm thinking of ways of spinning the material into jokes for Purgatory.

10:40AM
The pain in my back is telling me I need to get up and get my ass to the gym. I go.

10:50 AM
I'm at the gym and untangling my headphones. Wonder how much of my life is wasted untangling headphones.

10:55 - 12 noon
I work out. I sweat. I hate working out and sweating. Doing cardio has been a bit easier since I have made that Johann Sebastian Bach station on Pandora.

I'm sure you're all intrigued with the rest of my daily activities like: vacuuming, laundry, reading 1 Kings (actually there will be posts about that), bringing the kids to their music lessons, etc., but those fascinating stories will have to wait for another time.
LiP

Coin Laundry And Secular Humanist Judaism

2012-01-19T16:30:00.000-08:00

I just found the blog Coin Laundry which is about Secular Humanist Judaism (SHJ), and thought I'd share two videos on the founder of the movement, Rabbi Sherwin Wine.

Enjoy.

Top Ten Things I'd Like To Say To A Minister

2012-01-19T04:53:00.000-08:00

A liberal Christian buddy of mine placed this video on his Facebook page and I think it warrants a response.

Here is the Top Ten List Of What I'd Like To Say To A Minister.

10. When you read the Bible, how do you know which parts are utter bullsh*t?

9. Seeing that you can't prove your religion is true, how did you pick your faith? Is it similar to choosing chocolate versus vanilla ice cream, in the sense you just go with your gut? Or were you lucky enough to be born into the one "true" faith?

8. So, if Jesus is part of the Trinity, does that mean he was really into the slaughter of the Canaanites, or did he look the other way?

7. I have a friend who is Jewish and says you people screwed up quite a bit with translating their book.

6. One third of Americans don't think Mormonism is a branch of Christianity. What do you think?

5. I'm not spiritual and I'm not religious. Somehow I'm able to be a happy, productive member of society. Go figure.

4. Hey, I read Job and God's answer to the question of Why do bad things happen to good people? seems to be Sit down and shut the F*ck up.

The LORD said to Job:
² “Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!”
³ Then Job answered the LORD:
⁴ “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
⁵ I spoke once, but I have no answer—
twice, but I will say no more.”
⁶ Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm:
⁷ “Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
⁸ “Would you discredit my justice?
Would you condemn me to justify yourself?
⁹ Do you have an arm like God’s,
and can your voice thunder like his?
¹⁰ Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,
and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.
¹¹ Unleash the fury of your wrath,
look at all who are proud and bring them low,
¹² look at all who are proud and humble them,
crush the wicked where they stand.
¹³ Bury them all in the dust together;
shroud their faces in the grave.
¹⁴ Then I myself will admit to you
that your own right hand can save you.
Job 40: 1-14
(It goes on like that for a while...)

3. Say you had invested a huge amount of time and energy into worshipping Thor or Allah, how would you know that you have wasted all that time praying to a fictional character?

2. So, since you value faith over reason (otherwise you'd be agnostic) do you use faith-based epiphanies over facts when making major purchases like buying a car, a refrigerator, or a house? Why not?

1. You know, it isn't too late to go back to school to get a degree in a field that will let you help people without filling their heads with superstition.

Feel free to add your own.

The Day The LOLcats Died

2012-01-18T06:22:00.001-08:00

The Catholic Church Still Sucks

2012-01-17T06:23:00.000-08:00

Today, I have three stories which illustrate The Catholic Church Sucks principle.

The first story I read about on the Friendly Atheist. In 2009, the Polish singer Doda (Darota Rabczewska) had the audacity to voice her opinion about the Bible.

...she believed more in dinosaurs than the Bible because "it is hard to believe in something written by people who drank too much wine and smoked herbal cigarettes."

Dinosaurs versus the Bible, now that's a movie I would like to see on the Syfy channel. Perhaps a T-rex could go head to head with Moses.

Thankfully Poland is part of modern Europe where basic freedoms are cherished and ignorance is dispelled by the bright shiny light of the Enlightenment.

In theory at least.

This prompted furious Catholic groups [emphasis mine] to lodge complaints with the prosecutor's office.

"It is clear that Doda thinks that the Bible was written by drunkards and junkies," said Ryszard Nowak, chairman of the Committee for the Defence Against Sects, an organisation dedicated to protecting Christian values. "I believe that she committed a crime and offended the religious feelings of both Christians and Jews."

And what is the penalty of offending the Sky Fairy's followers in Poland? Up to 2 years in jail.

The singer was prosecuted, and the good news is that she doesn't have to do jail time. However, she does need to pay a fine of $1,450.

Our second story is about a major issue that threatens the very existence of our species. Is it global warming? Is it Iran arming itself with weapons to bring about the nuclear apocalypse?

No, much worse.

Gay marriage.

At least that's what the head of a major worldwide crime syndicate says.

The pope made some of his strongest comments against gay marriage in a new year address to the diplomatic corps accredited to the Vatican in which he touched on some economic and social issues facing the world today.

He told diplomats from nearly 180 countries that the education of children needed proper "settings" and that "pride of place goes to the family, based on the marriage of a man and a woman."

"This is not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society. Consequently, policies which undermine the family threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself," he said.

You heard it right, the organization that wants to stifle free speech in Poland wants you to know that gay marriage threatens the future of humanity itself.

The third story has to do with a post I found on Phayngula Unleash the Kraken on Peter G. Palumbo! Peter Palumbo is a Rhode Island state representative who has decided to enter the fray concerning Jessica Ahlquist. Jessica, as you may or may not know, is the student responsible in forcing Cranston High School to take down its prayer banner. What bit of wisdom did Peter Palumbo have to say about Jessica?

Jessica is, "... an evil little thing".

As reprehensible as Mr Palumbo's statement is, what does he have to do with Catholicism? He is a proud member of the Knights of Columbus, a Catholic fraternal organization. Some may say that his hatred for the separation of church and state has nothing to do his Catholic faith. Those people are wrong.

Just ask Darota Rabczewska.

This is Purgatory.

In case you want to contact Peter Palumbo and tell him to stop spewing idiocy, here is his contact information: (401) 785-2882 rep-palumbo@rilin.state.ri.us

Rick Santorum's Presidential To Do List

2012-01-15T15:48:00.000-08:00

I've been reflecting on how Rick Santorum has been crowned the great Christian hope to fight off the polytheist threat of Mitt Romney. (For those of you not in the know, Mormons believe that if they are very, very good they can become a god and get their own planet after they die. I would actually convert to Mormonism if I could get my own planet sans the dying part.) But what would Rick Santorum do if he ever won the presidency?

Peering into my crystal ball of absurdity I have gleaned Mr Sanrotum's to-do list.

Why can't the Religious Right simply
beat themselves up and leave us alone?

Every Friday will be a Flagellation Friday

What says traditional Catholic morality than whipping oneself into a bloody religious furor? Just as Christ was supposedly whipped mercilessly, Catholics throughout history have practiced the mortification of the flesh to get closer to the all-loving Jesus. Though flagellation is neither common nor practiced in a severe fashion amongst Catholics in America, President Santorum will show us all how it's done by bringing in some missionaries from the Philippines. Here is a video from those islands during Holy Week where the adherents are very busy whipping themselves.

And yes, atheists will be included in Flagellation Fridays. We will take the place of those people on the ground.

I don't care what you call me.
I'm still gonna burn Tokyo down.

Godzilla will be renamed Jesusilla

President Santorum will know that America is a Godly country. And not just any God either. America is all about Yahweh. We're not one nation under Allah, and Ganesh, the Hindu god with an elephant's head, is not the the deity referenced on our money. In that vein movie goers must know that the God in Godzilla is not some made up fictional character. No. To clear up the matter Godzilla will me renamed to Jesusilla.

Be careful! Even your cat
may rat you out!

OMG! will be illegal.

Using the Lord's name in vain is clearly wrong. President Santorum will command the FBI to troll the internet, monitor playgrounds, and eavesdrop in private conversations to make sure this forgotten commandment is not broken.

The good old days.

The Dark Ages will be renamed as the Super Swagger Ages

Everyone knows that Christianity flourished during the Dark Ages. Life was good back then for the Church: very few people were literate, the scientific method had yet to be discovered, and people typically lived exceptionally short and brutish lives. All of that chaos produced a population willing to accept any sort of religious flim-flam and was the Catholicism's Golden Age.

Rick Santorum Is The Official Candidate Of Christocrats!

2012-01-14T13:02:00.000-08:00

Friends of pedophiles everywhere agree:
Rick Santorum is our man!

Moments ago, Family Research Council President Tony Perkins announced on a conference call that social conservatives had officially settled on Rick Santorum as their preferred candidate for the Republican nomination. The decision was made today after three rounds of balloting at a meeting of more than 150 social conservative leaders and political activists held over the last two days in Brenham, Texas. Though the meeting was widely seen as an effort to settle on a candidate to stop Mitt Romney, Romney’s own campaign sent a representative to make an appeal to the group and Perkins said it was “not a bash Romney weekend” and “not a lot of time” was spent discussing him. Jon Huntsman’s campaign was the only campaign not to participate in the meeting. - From Think Progress

For those of you who haven't read my recent post on how wrong Rick Santorum is, click here.

The Tim Tebow Effect or Why You Should Dope-Smack 43.3% Of the People You See

2012-01-14T09:17:00.000-08:00

43.3% of Americans polled believe

that God has intervened in

some way with Tim Tebow's success.

Please forgive the melodramatic start to this post, but I didn't want to bury the skull bursting results from the poll administered by Poll Position. Pollsters called 1,076 people on land lines (what, people still have land lines?) and inquired if they knew who Tim Tebow is. Seventy percent of the respondents knew who he was. Those who knew were asked this question: Do believe that any of Tim Tebow’s success can be attributed to Divine Intervention?

43.3% said yes.
And when we talk about intervention, we're talking about the supposed Almighty changing the course of natural events. Tim Tebow getting inspired by a deity is not intervention, per se. Intervention is not the hours and hours of practice the man has done to bring the Broncos into the playoffs. No. Divine Intervention is a miracle in which natural laws are usurped because God wills it. Of course, in other historical periods and in other cultures a different deity or deities may have been considered the source of such miracles. Such assertions from followers of false gods are inane, because we have Tim Tebow to inform us all that Jesus, his dad, and the Holy Spirit, are the one true deity. Thankfully, Tim happened to be born in a culture and time that recognizes the obvious obviousness of the divinity of Jesus. Another blessing is that Tim was able to craft an enlightened opinion on the nature of the universe while attending home school that taught him this-

Because God never lies, His Word is completely true. This means that Scripture is without error (inerrant) to the degree it represents the original manuscripts. We believe that the original manuscripts are completely free of error, and God has preserved the Bible so that it remains authoritative.

And how does the Christo-American Taliban know the above statement is true? Because these verses in the Bible say it's true! -- Exodus 24:4; Deuteronomy 4:1-2; 17:19; Joshua 8:34; Psalms 19:7-10; 119:11,89,105,140; Isaiah 34:16; 40:8; Jeremiah 15:16; 36; Matthew 5:17-18; 22:29; Luke 21:33; 24:44-46; John 5:39; 16:13-15; 17:17; Acts 2:16ff.; 17:11; Romans 15:4; 16:25-26; 2 Timothy 3:15-17; Hebrews 1:1-2; 4:12; 1 Peter 1:25; 2 Peter 1:19-21. (Personally speaking, quoting from Joshua to support moral behavior is similar to going to a brothel in the hope of staying chaste.)

And what is the Tim Tebow Effect that I referenced in the title of this post? It's the shroud of idiocy that descends on 43.3% of Americans when they reflect on a guy who is going to get slapped around by the New England Patriots tonight.

LiP

Five Ways Ceiling Cat Will Make Your Life Better

2012-01-12T18:52:00.000-08:00

OK, you knew this day would come: Here are five ways that the world would be a better place if Ceiling Cat, the feline deity, were in charge.

5. Everyday is Sunday. Ceiling Cat doesn't need to rest, but likes it -- a lot. Orthodox theologians have hypothesized that the universe was created by the purring of the celestial kitty. Heretics charge that the universe was an errant fur ball discharged by the Furry One. Either way people shouldn't waste a good Sunday by fighting about it.

The feline with a thousand faces.

4. Ceiling Cat is not narrow, and appears in many forms to humans. I'm sure that God let a lot of people down by manifesting Himself as only one demographic -- Jewish. Ceiling Cat has a multitude of forms, and each one pleases.

3. Ceiling Cat doesn't need to be worshipped, becuase you already love the Almighty Feline. Look, a responsible deity doesn't need to threaten their people with eternal torment to get their affection!

2. Ceiling Cat isn't going to judge you. Though the holy writ states that Feline deity watches all from the infinite ceiling, Ceiling Cat knows how stoopid humans are and can't really punish a species so dumb (the dolphins, however, are another matter...).

1. You will not need to tithe 10% of your net income to any church. However, everyone does need to keep a food bowl in their domicile full, just in case Ceiling Cat pops in. And not with that cheap shit either.

Thanks to Kriss the Sexy Atheist for the idea.

LiP

What Not To Tell Children or My Trip To The Guggenheim

2012-01-11T05:17:00.000-08:00

I'm currently in NYC for a few days, and I'm about to head over to the Guggenheim and thought I'd re-post a piece about my last visit to the museum. Enjoy.

I've been in NYC for the last day or so. I like going to the City once a year and do do my regular geek-related activities: go to the Strand book store, hit a museum, walk through Central Park (very pretty with all the snow), and see a play.
This is about my visit to the Guggenheim Museum. For those of you not familiar with the Guggenheim, the inside is like being in a barrel of sorts. You walk around the sides on a ramp that gently goes upwards. Art is displayed on the wall of the barrel. To your other side is empty space. It's a beautiful effect kinda like being in one of those domed churches (without the nasty superstition).

So, I'm pretty oblivious at times. OK, OK, most of the time I'm fairly aware of my environment in case of a natural disaster or random zombie outbreak occurring. When I'm in the Guggenheim it's different. My paranoid, "Flight or Flee" (as against to Fight or Flee) response is shut off. In those moments I'm less aware and pragmatically speaking... stupid.

I walk into the museum, and I soaked up the space (the place is all white to magnify the spaciness). I slowly walk up the ramp. Do I notice there is NO art on the wall? No. I'm just being stupid Andy at the Guggenheim chill'n in the space. Suddenly, this little 10 year old girl with braces introduces herself and starts walking with me. My first thought? Oh my God, I'm not a pedophile, and I shouldn't be talking to you. My second thought? This is some kinda scam or maybe I'm in some horror movie with Evil Children with mind control powers that are going to drain my brain.
Then she asked me, "What is Progress?"

Now I'm really disoriented as we walk up the ramp of all white with bare walls. I thought for a moment and started to say what I thought, with minimal editorial control from my higher brain functions. "Progress? It's man's escape from misery," I quipped. She repeated my statement (she must have been taught to do that when grownups say crazy shit). "Sure," I continued, "think about it, for the majority of human history life has been: nasty, brutish, and short." "Nasty, Brutish, and Short?" she replied. "Sure, progress is moving away from that. Take some of the more uncivilized areas of the world, let's say Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe has a life expectancy of what? Forty? Forty-Five? There's a whole lot of progress needing to be done there." I didn't stop there. I just kept talking in the same vein.

By then I figured out this HAD to be part of the exhibit. No art on the walls?
Someone willing to listen to my crazy talk? Then a high school kid (male) met up with us and introduced himself. The little girl related (with uncanny efficiency) our conversation. "This is Andy. He thinks Progress is man's escape from misery. The typical human experience has been: nasty, brutish, and short... historically speaking. Take Zimbabwe..." Have you ever seen Dr. Phil? It's a show I don't often watch, and then only for a few minutes. There is a typical segment when the offending loon gets to see themselves on camera doing their looniness, The typical response is, "Wow, I didn't realize how loony I was acting." As this precocious, 10 year old was basically relating my thoughts on the human condition I thought, "Wow, that sounds pretty brutal -- true, funny, and brutal." She said her good-bye and scampered away apparently unscathed by our discussion. I meant to say something like, "It's not all bad. Things are much better than say, Medieval Europe when 1/3 of the population died of the Black Death!" Too late. My new friend was asking me followup questions about Progress. This went on all the way up to the top (the ramp wind around the wall like a screw). When the last person I was talking to was an older guy.
I usually dislike interactive art. I'm lazy. I just want to look at pretty stuff. That's why I paid my $18. This exhibit actually made me feel like I was part of an artistic process. Mind you, the process was kinda like me going out drinking and talking smack only in a nicer environment. And people HAD to listen to me (after all I did pay something). The exhibit was the creation of artist Tino Sehgal. I have to tell you, this was my most pleasant experience in the Guggenheim.

Now, some of you who haven't been in the museum are thinking, "Andy, you got played. You paid $18 and all you got was a twenty minute conversation outta it?" Point taken. What I failed to mention on the way down the ramp I walked into the rooms off to the side and saw some lovely painting/sculptures from the Parisian inter-war period. So I feel like I wasn't completely ripped off.
In retrospect, if I hadn't been so disoriented in the beginning I would've added some rainbows and butterflies to my assessment of the Human Condition, at least to the 10 year old.
Children shouldn't know they're in Purgatory.

Rick Santorum Is Just Wrong.

2012-01-09T07:56:00.000-08:00

Rick Santorum doesn't need facts!
He's got faith.

I was reading through Reason.com, the libertarian site, (yes, I read a lot of publications with very different political views), and thought I'd share with you Rick Santorum's Moral Delusions. Most of you are well acquainted with the hollow claims of social conservatives concerning why the country is going to hell, so this will be only a review.

Santorum insists that gay marriage will destroy the family, "the very foundation of our country." Lamenting the scandal of pedophile priests, he wrote in a Catholic publication: "When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm."

This is the sad strategy that the priests of Yahweh used in the Old Testament: Something goes wrong and the reason why the wolves are at the door is because the people are not pious enough. Are the Canaanites beating the chosen people at the "Gimme My Land, B*tches!" game? Or is the country going broke because we have overspent for decades? The solution is God! Lot's of God.

It's a familiar line of argument among religious conservatives, and it has the virtues of clarity, simplicity, and plausibility. But there is one notable weakness in his case: a mass of evidence that amounts to a thunderous refutation.

What? The evidence doesn't support Mr Santorum implying that liberal Boston (the cradle of American liberty) is the cause of the Church's child abuse scandal that has rocked that city? I'm shocked.

In the past couple of decades, most indicators of moral and social health have gotten better, not worse. Crime has plummeted. Teen pregnancy has declined by 39 percent. Abortion rates among adolescents are less than half what they were.

This is where the faith-based blinders for the faithful come in handy in order to ignore pesky facts. But I digress.

The incidence of divorce is down. As of 2007, 48 percent of high school students had engaged in sex, compared to 54 percent in 1991. What "decaying culture" is he talking about?

Perhaps he doesn't understand what decay means?

Consider homicide, which is not only socially harmful but a violation of one of the Ten Commandments. Mississippi has the highest rate of church attendance in America, according to a Gallup survey, with 63 percent of people saying they go to church "weekly or almost weekly." But Mississippians are far more likely to be murdered than other Americans.
On the other hand, we have Vermont, where people are the most likely to skip church. Its murder rate is only about one-fourth as high as the rest of the country. New Hampshire, the second-least religious state, has the lowest murder rate.
These are no flukes. Of the 10 states with the most worshippers, all but one have higher than average homicide rates. Of the 11 states with the lowest church attendance, by contrast, 10 have low homicide rates.

and

What impact does gay marriage have on how kids handle sex? Massachusetts, the first state to legalize it, has less teen pregnancy than the country as a whole. Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire, and Vermont, which have also sanctioned same-sex unions, are also far better than average.

and

Does gay marriage undermine the health and stability of heterosexual marriage? Not so you can tell. Massachusetts has the nation's lowest divorce rate. Iowa and Connecticut are also better than most. Vermont and New Hampshire are about average. In the Bible Belt, by contrast, marriages are generally more prone to break up.

However, these points will not stop the beliefs or the charges levelled by the Religious Right. Ultimately, they are not in the business of verifiable information, building up testable hypotheses, or attempting to be objective. No. They are in the business of making other people as deluded as they are. Their political goal is to remake America in their own broken image.

This is Purgatory.

Beyond the Bestsellers: An Atheist Reading List for 2011

2012-01-09T05:08:00.000-08:00

This is a guest post from a fan of Purgatory, Lauren Baily. I'm going to add a few comments at the end of this post.

Beyond the Bestsellers: An Atheist Reading List for 2011

That many pro-atheist books have become instant bestsellers in the past five years demonstrates that atheism is finally becoming a more accepted position in mainstream culture. Of course, this isn't to say that we don't have a long way to go before we become a respected in group in culture and politics—after all, a new study shows that atheists are trusted about as much as rapists.

Still, we can say quite honestly that there has never been a time in human history in which atheism has been so little marginalized as now. While I found the more well-known books by the so-called New Atheists enlightening and entertaining, I do also think that the time is ripe for atheists to complicate their views, to go beyond the more basic arguments proffered by the likes of Dawkins, Harris, and Hitchens. In other words, it is time that we create an atheist culture in which we consider all sides. If you are a little tired of the God Delusion and other books of its ilk, if you are interested in venturing beyond the bestsellers, consider adding the following books to your reading list.

Reason, Faith, and Revolution: Reflections on the God Debate by Terry Eagleton

While Eagleton is not an atheist per se, he is deeply acquainted with atheist thought beginning from now and dating back to the very first atheist philosophers. In his book, Eagleton takes many of the New Atheists to task in their ignorance of philosophy and theology. If you are interested in learning more about the basic principles that undergird religious thought, from a cogent and deeply learned thinker, look no further than this book.

Atheist Delusions: The Christian Revolution and its Fashionable Enemies by David Bentley Hart

Like the previous book on this list, Atheist Delusions reexamines some of the common arguments against religion in general and Christianity in particular that'll really make you think. Hart gives a thorough account of the history of Christianity and its cultural and philosophical impacts, pointing out along the way the many factual errors that the New Atheists commit in their books.

On Belief by Slavoj Zizek

Zizek, a staunch atheist who's earned a reputation as one of the foremost public intellectuals of our time, arrives at his own atheism from a refreshingly new perspective. In On Belief, Zizek outlines the various ways in which our increasingly post-religious culture still practices religion in sublimated forms. This slim but fascinating volume is a must-read for those interested in modern philosophy, psychoanalysis, and cultural studies.

While the above mentioned books discuss belief and disbelief in more conceptual terms, Joy in Secularism, a collection of eleven essays, is a deeply person reflection about atheism. If you are interested in learning more about how others live, and not just think, as atheists, this book will be right up your alley.

Don't get me wrong—it's probable that you won't agree with all the viewpoints purveyed in these books. But if you are interested in more fully developing a well-rounded, considered atheistic worldview, then they are definitely worth checking out. Happy New Year!

By-line:

This guest post is contributed by Lauren Bailey, who regularly writes for accredited online colleges. She welcomes your comments at her email Id: blauren99 @gmail.com.

******

I thought I would do a cursory look at the books listed above. Reason, Faith, and Revolution: Reflections on the God Debate by Terry Eagleton, from what I've seen, seems to be talking about how many atheists are ignorant of "complex theology". Of course, complex theology is a term commonly used by Christians as a smokescreen to hide the fact that regardless of the complexities of an argument their basic core belief is faith trumps reason. Complex theology is another word for flim-flam. A reviewer of this book noted It [the book] can be very useful to Christians who want to be able to cite a seemingly non-Christian critique to the anti-theist crowd. (As an aside, I find the blogs Camels with Hammers and Debunking Christianity good sites to explore deeper philosophical issues.)
Atheist Delusions: The Christian Revolution and its Fashionable Enemies by David Bentley Hart, from the reviews I have read, is just what the book's title implies: A book defending Christianity. Here is an excerpt from one reviewer,

Some atheists writers try and suggest that all was fine and dandy in the ancient pagan world before those pesky Christians came along with their hang ups over human physicality. Hart addresses this point, exposing the "glorious sadness" at the heart of pagan life and experience. Heretical Gnostics may have had hang ups over human physicality, but not the orthodox, who believed that the Word was made flesh. Christianity constituted a great rebellion against the false gods of paganism and the pitiless indifference to human suffering that often characterised pagan thought. The central tenet of the Christian faith, that he who was in the form of God took the form of a servant and died for sinners conferred a new dignity on each and every human being, slaves included.

I'm not rushing out to buy this.

On Belief by Slavoj Zizek, explores a wide span of topics. Here is what one reviewer stated,

In proposing that historicity per se be defined as the occurrence of sudden ruptures/breaks (akin to Thomas Kuhn's "paradigm shifts"), Zizek refrains from explicitly stating either whether a certain decisive break has indeed occurred (i.e., whether Fukuyama is right, which would be consistent with his earlier mention of a Lacanian critique of Marx-history is over because the shift/rupture marked by capitalism really is the last genuine change, after which an overall structural stability sets in due to a certain symbiosis achieved by capitalism's arrangement of relations between the plurality of libidinal economies and the overarching, mediating socio-symbolic economy) or whether the "true and real end" has yet to arrive (his concluding remarks about Christian theology indicate that he now sees Christianity as containing within itself, when coupled with Marx and Lenin, the potential for engendering further breaks and revolutionary transformations,...

That is only part of one sentence. And I have to say, this bit confirms my bias that a person who holds a PhD in Philosophy must have taken several classes on very, very, very long sentences. (Oh, it isn't that I don't understand the sentence, either. My feeling is just that unnecessarily obtuse sentences should not be assumed to be particularly deep or clever.)

Joy in Secularism by various, seems to be something I would enjoy reading. Click here is a review from the New Yorker.

LiP

My Jihady-Crusade Against the Giving Tree's Sexism

2012-01-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

Look,
this tree has two friends.

You read the title correctly: I freakin' hate Shel Siversteins's "classic" (in the same manner that Birth of a Nation is a classic film) children's book. And I don't use hate too often either, but this book has earned my abiding disgust. For those of you who haven't read the book the story is about a codependent relationship between a boy and a tree over the span of decades. At first, the boy simply lounges under the shade of the tree and enjoys an apple or two. As the boy grows so do his demands of the tree, which the tree is only too happy to meet. The tree is ultimately whittled down to only a stump. The boy, now an old man, still wants more, but there is nothing more to take, so he sits and rests on what remains of his "friend".

Why this diatribe against the Giving Tree? I opened up the Boston Globe this morning (Saturday 1/7)and saw that the front page of the Living section. Giving Trees was the title of the main story. It seems that a 13 year-old boy was inspired by the book and setup a charity event where artists created mini-trees to be auctioned off. The proceeds are going to fight illiteracy. The article has this line about the Giving Tree: ..."the Giving Tree", which has an underlying message about generosity (p10). I'm happy that the boy was able to misconstrue the book's message (much like Christians who reflect on the genocidal flood story as a love letter from God to his elect), and in doing, light a candle in the night. However, the book is still deplorable, and not to be taken seriously as a moral tale (again, just like a vast majority of the Bible).
Some of you may think I'm overreacting, that a book about a little boy getting whatever he wants to the detriment of another is a dandy story to tell kids. But there was another noxious facet of the book that I wasn't aware of. Two months ago I had a conversation with the Wife and her BFF. Somehow the book came up in conversation.
Me: God, I hate the Giving Tree.

BFF: Oh yeah, its totally a sexist book.

Me: What do you mean?

Do you the look you give theists when the theist says something completely off the mark? That was the look they gave me.

Wife: The tree in the book is female.

Me: Really? Are you sure?

They give me the look again.

Obviously, I was a bit... resistant, let's say about the tree being female. I found it odd that I could have missed such a point. I've looked through the book a number of times, but how did this major aspect of the story slide pass me? Could it be that, that my being a guy somehow blinded me to the fact that the boy/man in the story slowly decapitates the female character? And she likes it?

I had to look at the book again. If there were only one reference to the tree being female, then perhaps I wasn't completely blinded my penis (more politely referred to as a male bias). Confidently I walked into the library with my daughter, and as she was looking at her own book, I peered into the Giving Tree.
Well, it appears that I was blinded by my genitalia. There were a few references of the tree being feminine in the book. Though I love to be right (ask any of my close acquaintances, I practically shiver with delight when I'm told I'm right about something).

If nothing else, the above story is an example of how the practice of skepticism can trump our species tribalism and predilection to defend beliefs regardless of whether said beliefs are based in reality. New data on any subject should not simply be ignored simply because it does not confirm our pre-existing beliefs.

LiP

.

Haredi Women's Wigs Will Bring Disaster To The Jewish People

2012-01-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, the above short is a newscast from Israel concerning how the Haredim (Jewish religious zealots) view the evil of women who do not wear the proper head covering.

Of course, I found this video on the Atheist Rabbi.

Oh, and you heard that right: The video states that women who are immodest may be responsible for causing another Holocaust.

This is Purgatory.

An Excerpt From The Christian Delusion.

2012-01-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

The Great Wall of Faith: designed to keep reality
out and ignorance in.

I'm currently reading through The Christian Delusion: Why Faith Fails which is edited by John Loftus who blogs over at Debunking Christianity. The book is a compilation of essays, and the one I just finished is titled Christian Beliefs through the Lens of Cognitive Science, byValerie Tarico, PhD.

Here is a section of that piece that I think we can all relate to.

...Worship practices, music and religious architecture have been optimized over time to evoke right-brain sensations of transcendence and euphoria. social insularity protects a community consensus. Repetition of ideas reinforces a sense of conviction or certainty. Forms of Christianity that emphasize right belief have built in safeguards against contrary evidence, doubt, and the assertions of other religions. Many a freethinker has sparred a smart, educated fundamentalist into a corner only to have a believer utter some form of "I just know". (p 54)

Who among us haven't struck the all too familiar wall of knowing what I know, because I know it?

This is Purgatory

Top Ten Reasons Why I'm Happy To Be An Atheist

2012-01-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

Reflecting on the BIG
questions.

I was reading through Blue Collar Atheist's Ten Reasons I'm glad I'm an Atheist, and I thought Wow, what a nice guy. For example, he has for his number 10 reason I get to have friends who are bright, funny, rational, thoughtful individualists. His number 5 reason is not worrying about going to Hell. And his other reasons were fairly prudent too. He seems to be a nice, responsible person.

My reasons why I'm happy I'm an atheist are not soooo, let's say, noble. Or prudent.
Here they are.

Feeling good!

10. Guilt. Free. Masturbation. When I initially discovered this forbidden fruit I was young and quite concerned about going to Hell for doing this *sinful act. My solution to the problem? Not to masturbate on Sundays. Somehow I thought that God wouldn't damn me so much if I didn't wank it on His day. Needless to say, I looked forward to Mondays. A lot.

9. I like drinking to excess. How many of us who were brought up Christian had this drilled into our heads?

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 19-20

Guess what? My body and I have found that drinking is awesome. We're sticking to that.

In the zombie apocalypse WWJD?

8. I'm not a punk. Where I come from this would be the definition of a punk.

If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Luke 6:29

Now, some of you may be thinking I'm calling all Christians punk. I'm not. I don't know of any Christian who lives by this rule. Believe me, I tried it when I was a kid, and discovered it was a sure fire way of getting my ass kicked and left without a cloak.

What I am saying is that if you think you are a Christian and not a punk, then you are doing one of those two things wrong.

7. Guilt. Free. Masturbation. Revisit #1 in case you need further clarification.

6. I can play any fantasy role playing game I damn well want. I played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons, Traveller, and Marvel Super Heroes, when I was a kid, but guess what? Jesus wanted to ruin my fun. It seems that playing a character who is a hobbit fighting goblins and orcs would most likely send me to Hell. Screw you Jesus, if I want Bobo (truly original, eh?) to stab an ogre with his +4 short sword, then that's what's going to happen.

Not gonna happen.

5. Guilt free porn consumption. 'nuff said

There is some freaky shit going on in this book.

4. My sexuality isn't all fucked up. Do you know how to mess up a person's sense of their own sexuality? The Bible. I still don't know what happened after Adam and Eve had kids. How did the race perpetuate itself? Did Cain and Abel have to draw straws to see who would get the chance to biblically know their own mom or sister? Maybe that's the real reason why Cain was so angry -- a guy shouldn't have to think about asking Mom out for a date on Saturday night.

3. I love sloth. Sloth, as many of you already know, is a considered to be one of the 7 Deadly Sins. I love sloth. In fact, as I'm writing this I'm in my sweatpants, and what says sloth like wearing sweatpants on a Wednesday morning at 11AM? In fact, if I didn't have "things" to do last Sunday I would have spent the entire day watching the Marx Brothers marathon at the Brattle Theatre. (Never fear, I did get to catch Duck Soup on the big screen.)

Saying OMG! will cause you to
go to H-E-L-L!

2. I like taking the Lord's name in vain. I like to show my rebellious side by throwing out an irreverent OMG! at times. Sure, most Christians don't understand that's a sin, but most Christians don't read the Bible, either.

I likes to has me a laugh.

1. Atheists have better comedians.

*As the old saying goes there are two kinds of people when it comes to masturbation: Those who say they do it and liars.

Religious Extremism In Israel

2012-01-03T05:43:00.000-08:00

I've written about Jewish extremism on a few occasions (Jewish Taliban Women and Women Need to Sit In The Back Of The Bus), but the video above,well, it just turns the faith-based crazy dial to 11. The captions are a bit difficult to read, but it's clear that the children who are disabled are targeted for abuse by the Haredi (a far right religious group). The reason is that these kids dare to use their motorized wheelchairs on the Sabbath. That is considered work, and we all know what Moses said about working on the Sabbath.

While the Israelites were in the wilderness, a man was found gathering wood on the Sabbath day. Those who found him gathering wood brought him to Moses and Aaron and the whole assembly, and they kept him in custody, because it was not clear what should be done to him. Then the LORD said to Moses, “The man must die. The whole assembly must stone him outside the camp.” So the assembly took him outside the camp and stoned him to death, as the LORD commanded Moses. Numbers 15:32-36

What is really scary (yes, abusing disabled children is not the scary part of this story) is that the religious right is on the march and making political progress in Israel.

Once a small minority in Israel’s state-building project, Orthodox Jews are now at its forefront. They comprise 40% of the ruling coalition’s members, and over 40% of new army officers and combat soldiers. As their birth rate is more than double that of secular Jews, their power is set to mount.

The spectrum of political Judaism is as wide as political Islam’s. A bit like the split between Muslim Brothers and Salafists, religious Jews loosely divide into religious Zionists, who want Jews to control biblical land, and the ultra-Orthodox, who seek to enforce literal rabbinical dictates. The former pride themselves on leading Israelis into battle. The latter staunchly defend their exemption from the military draft.

Though intense ideological rivals, they have forged working relations under Binyamin Netanyahu’s coalition. Both defend their assets, be it settlements in the West Bank, where they form at least 70% of the Jewish population, or the separate Torah education systems they have created, both with state backing. Both argue that Israel’s Jewish character is more vital than its democratic one. [emphasis mine]

I find that the separate education systems funded by state money to be particularly dangerous, and has the potential of turning Israel into something like a Jewish version of Pakistan -- complete with nuclear weapons.

Secular Jews, who founded the state and are still a narrow majority, used to fret that the religious were carving out no-go areas for the authorities with their own legal and morality police and using their power as parliamentary kingmakers.

The video gives an example of such no-go areas where the police refuse to assist those who have been targeted by Yahweh's thought police.

Now they fear religious Jews are the state. Secular Jews continue to leave Jerusalem for the coastal cities, ceding it to a volatile cocktail of religious Jews and resentful Arabs in the east of the city.

Under pressure from rabbinical authorities and their disciples, the hotter-headed religious soldiers boycott military pageants at which women perform. Municipalities cancel concerts with female artists or insist that they fully cover their bodies, and remove advertising of even modestly-clad women from streets and buses. In ultra-Orthodox suburbs of Tel Aviv, women, like their Saudi counterparts, do not drive. The American secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, recently said she was worried that women’s rights in Israel were being eroded. In the ultra-Orthodox press her photograph was airbrushed out.

The Atheist Rabbi reports that at last the authorities have started to crack down on the Haredi. It should no surprise to any atheist that the Jewish fanatical followers of a despotic deity have decided to use a tried and true tactic of religious loons in America: comparing the state with Nazi Germany.

To do this they [Haredi] dressed themselves and their kids up as concentration camp victims, replete with striped uniforms and yellow badges.

This is Purgatory.

Top Ten List Of What's Going To Happen When Atheists Are In Charge.

2012-01-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

Many of you are aware of the recent Huffington Post article: Will 2012 Be the Year of the Atheist? I just want to tell everyone out there what's going to happen when we atheists do become a majority in the USA.

10. We won't be teaching science in your church. Even though science is truly universal (science does work in all environments -- religion just the opposite) atheists will not force the faithful to teach the Origin of the Species or the God Delusion in Sunday school. However, the obvious must be stated: In schools, faith based pseudo-science like the misnamed Intelligent Design may be taught only in a Mythology class.

9. Unlike some deities that originated in the desert, we will not require the first born sons from households that don't agree with us to be killed. I know that sounds crazy, doesn't it? What kind of being would want innocent children killed because of a non-elected ruler refusing His will? Well, rest be assured there will be none of that nonsense going on when we're in charge. We won't even imply that killing kids would have been OK 5,000 years ago either.

I agree, the patriarchy sucks.

8. We're not going to be dicks and tell women that they are innately inferior to men. You won't be hearing the following from us.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

7. We plan to make America American again. It has come to our attention that nondemocratic elements have snuck into our government -- namely that tyrannical, misogynistic deity known as Yahweh (aliases include: the Almighty, God, and The All Loving God Who Hates Faggotry). He has infiltrated the Pledge of Allegiance, thanks to spineless politicians in 1953, as well as our money supply (In God We Trust). Once secularists run the show all that nonsense is going to stop.

6. As long as you are marrying a consenting adult, marry whoever you damn choose too. The only reason why people who are gay cannot marry in all 50 states is because too many people in this country can't tell the difference between stories like Hansel and Gretel and the fairy tales found in the Bible.

NOT fans of Mr. Gervais

5. There will be a Ricky Gervais channel on television. However, theists will not be forced to watch it, and we atheists will not tell you that you're going to be tortured for eternity for not saying Mr Gervais is awesome.

4. The Boy Scouts will no longer be subsidized by our government. 1. The Boy Scouts think atheists are not moral enough to be in their august organization. 2. The Boy Scouts get their annual jamboree partially subsidized by the federal government and individual troops rent out public buildings for $1 per year. 3. When the secularists take over the government will no longer be supporting bigoted organizations.

3. The government's main anti-global warming campaign will not be praying for rain. Governors in places like Georgia, Texas, and Oklahoma, will no longer ask their citizens pray for rain. They may actually have to do something realistic to solve their problems than asking their imaginary friend for help.

He would approve.

2. Being literate in science will no longer be political suicide for politicians. Politicians of any major party will be able to say something like this:

A scientific theory comprises a collection of concepts, including abstractions of observable phenomena expressed as quantifiable properties, together with rules (called scientific laws) that express relationships between observations of such concepts. A scientific theory is constructed to conform to available empirical data about such observations, and is put forth as a principle or body of principles for explaining a class of phenomena.

without fear of being unelectable.

TASTY!

1. The baby eating will still continue. Dammit! Now everyone knows.

God's New Year Resolution!

2011-12-31T04:33:00.000-08:00

Get rid of the beard. God has been sporting the same look for a long, long time.

Sure, the full beard is a symbol of the Almighty's personal brand. It has served Him well. It's kinda like Donald Trump's hair in a way: It demands respect. However, for the new year Yahweh wants to try a new look. A look that sums up His character. A look that encompasses His mercy. A look that says "Here I am b*tches, worship me or else".

That's it. The Stalin 'stache. Nothing says divine swagger like the facial hair worn by the architect of such great feats like the Great Purge (which killed well over 1.5 million), the man made famines of 1921-1922, 1932-1933, and, of course, the cult of personality of Papa Joe.

Next time you see the God of love wiping out a city via flood, earthquake, or disease, don't be surprised that the Big Guy has shaved off the beard and sporting the hottest facial hair of the USSR in the early to mid twentieth century.

This is Purgatory.

2 Samuel -- God Is Evil And He Needs An Editor

2011-12-28T07:07:00.000-08:00

What God's symbol should be.

I have recently finished reading 2 Samuel, and two things leap to mind.

God, however prolific He may be, needs an editor.
God is kind enough to remind us that He is still a sociopath.

Let's start off with number one. God, just look at how much He has ghost written throughout the centuries. Sure, the books of the Bible have human authors, but true believers are aware that the one who wielded the writing instrument is the Tamer of Leviathan. And what a writer He is! He surpasses Tolkien in producing funny names and creating fictional histories. Just look at this passage from 2 Samuel,

24 Among the Thirty were:
Asahel the brother of Joab,
Elhanan son of Dodo from Bethlehem,

25 Shammah the Harodite,
Elika the Harodite,
26 Helez the Paltite,
Ira son of Ikkesh from Tekoa,

Yahweh's literary works have also been the source of inspiration from Shakespeare to our modern day Christ figure, Harry Potter. However, you can't deny that the man needs an editor. For example, in 2 Samuel chapter 24 a story is related how David, the perfect theocratic king (at least in the eyes of NIV commentators), decides to count the number of fighting men in his country. The thing is that the story is not in chronological order with the narrative thread. It's just kinda plopped there at the end of the book. The NIV commentary shrugs its shoulders and says, "Meh, who knows when this part happened in relation to the rest of 2 Samuel. We can guess, but that's all it is -- a guess."

Shoddy work, plain and simple.

The second bit of insight from the last chapter of this holy book is once again simply how tyrannical the God of divine love can be.

Again the anger of the LORD burned against Israel,

Note how the author felt the need to relate that anger is not a new emotion for the LORD. And it's not a "Who left the cap of the toothpaste tube off" kinda of anger either. No. This anger burns.

and he incited David against them, saying, “Go and take a census of Israel and Judah.”

What does God do with His anger? He makes David take a census of how many fighting men he has. Somehow this is a sinful act. Supposedly it is out of pride that David wants to know how big the army is. Ergo, God placed the sin in David so that He could punish the country.
Makes a lot of sense, eh?
This is not the first time God has made people do questionable things, either. Remember this from my post God Is Such An A**hole or More Fun Reading 1 Samuel

Now it came about on the next day that an evil spirit from God came mightily upon Saul, and he raved in the midst of the house, while David was playing the harp with his hand, as usual; and a spear was in Saul’s hand. Saul hurled the spear for he thought, “I will pin David to the wall.” But David escaped from his presence twice. 1 Samuel 18: 10-11

Back to 2 Samuel.

The census is completed and David now sees the error of his ways.

David was conscience-stricken after he had counted the fighting men, and he said to the LORD, “I have sinned greatly in what I have done. Now, LORD, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing.” 2 Samuel 24:10

Wow, God incites David to sin, and then David begs God to take away the guilt. I humbly suggest, that God created a rather bureaucratic version of Hell for his chosen people.

But it gets worse. Much worse.

Before David got up the next morning, the word of the LORD had come to Gad the prophet, David’s seer: “Go and tell David, ‘This is what the LORD says: I am giving you three options. Choose one of them for me to carry out against you.’” 2 Samuel 24: 11-12

See, this is God's idea of freewill: I'll give you a choice how I'm going to f*ck you. That's wisdom Old Testament style.
What would these three choices be? A stern talking to? A timeout? Maybe God will spank them once just to show he is serious.

So Gad went to David and said to him, “Shall there come on you three years of famine in your land? Or three months of fleeing from your enemies while they pursue you? Or three days of plague in your land? Now then, think it over and decide how I should answer the one who sent me.” 2 Samuel 24:13

David had gone about killing and slaughtering the Canaanites for years and knew that three months of payback meant. He opted for the plague.

So the LORD sent a plague on Israel from that morning until the end of the time designated, and seventy thousand of the people from Dan to Beersheba died. 2 Samuel 24:15

It all worked out after all.

This is Purgatory.

Will Becomes A Santa Skeptic

2011-12-27T04:51:00.000-08:00

I am happy to report that Will, who is nine, has broken through the Santa barrier. He had been a firm supporter of that jolly fellow in previous years. When his younger sister, Ali, questioned any of the logistics concerning a workshop manned by elves, flying reindeer, or how a morbidly obese man was able to fit through our chimney, Will would passionately defend the myth with a variation of the "It's magic" argument. I was getting concerned. From what I've heard about other children Will's age, they ask skeptical questions about this subject, rather than hone their pro-Santa polemics. Was I raising a Santa Claus fundamentalist? Would my boy grow into a sort of televangelist? Instead of selling Jesus he would be garbed in a red suit and fake beard shouting at people that he simply knew in his heart his savior was real or that faith was superior to evidence concerning Chris Kringle. How could life be worth living without Him?

My concern, of course, was a bit unfounded. Like many of us who really, really wanted to believe in a mythological character, Will was internally processing the Santa equation (it just doesn't add up!) while defending the fairy tale to his sister. I should have noticed that he was a bit less passionate this year with explaining the metaphysics of a bag that can hold a gazillion presents. Although he wouldn't dare question the Wife or me on the subject, since that may stop the flow of presents, he watched and waited. Not too different from the skeptic who begins to see the glaring holes of their native born religion, but are afraid to ask the obvious questions in fear of being ostracized from their social group or of eternal hellfire.

There was new evidence that brought my boy into being a full blown Santa heretic. On Christmas Eve we were went about our rituals of leaving milk and cookies out. The kids were then brought upstairs to their bedrooms and tucked into bed. I went downstairs and cleaned up the kitchen a bit (I had cooked up the world's best beef stew and sage dumplings for dinner). Afterwards, I joined the Wife and her aunt in the living room, wondering when it would be safe to stuff the stockings.

"You should check on them," she said.

And here is the rub, when the myth itself does not convince a follower of its innate absurdity, often times the incompetency of the people who are trying to perpetuate said myth shove the believer into disbelief.

I crept upstairs and poked my head into each of the children's darkened rooms. Silence. Happily I went back down and announced that they were both in asleep. Presents were brought out from their hiding places and stuffed into stockings.

That's when the sounds of little feet were heard walking down the stairs.I quickly locked the door, and the team brought the filled stockings into another room.

"Why is the door locked?" It was Will. "I need to go to the bathroom."

I opened the door. Will carefully looked around while walking to the toilet.

"Why did you lock the door?" he asked again.
I have a policy about Santa: I am neutral. The myth is harmless (there are no Santa-based suicide bombers to my knowledge), and though I don't tell my kids that He isn't real, I refuse to bend over backwards hiding the truth. Unsurprisingly, I chose to meet absurdity with absurdity.

"I locked the door just in case there we were attacked by zombies so that they wouldn't be able to get upstairs."

Will looked at me. Hard. He went to the bathroom and then went back upstairs.

Christmas came and went. Presents were opened, relatives and friends came over for breakfast and dinner. All in all the day went well.

The day after Christmas, however, Will had a moment alone with his mother. That was when he pounced. "Are you and dad Santa Claus? Why did he lock the door? There are no such things as zombies!" She muttered a few halfhearted responses in the vain hope that maybe our boy wasn't really growing up. He must of walked away with thinking what many other skeptics have reflected about those who are the guardians of myth: These people have no idea what they're talking about!

Later, I chatted with Will who was deep in a book. I said that I would give him a straight answer to any question he had. "Why did you lock the door?" he asked.

"I didn't want you coming downstairs."

"Why?"

"Mom and I are Santa Claus. We were placing gifts in your stockings."

"Oh." He then went back to reading his book.

"Hey, I'm going to ask you not to tell your sister, OK?"
"That's fine."
And it is fine.
LiP

Islam, Islam, Islam

2011-12-26T02:59:00.000-08:00

You know, during the Christmas season it's easy for an atheist to get too focused on Christianity, with all the pagan imagery and what not. Now that the holiday is done with for another year it's back to business here in Purgatory...

What faith to focus on this morning?

Let's go with the religion of peace.

I found this on the One Way to Paradise site. And how did I find such an enlightened place where a dredge like me can find the one true way?

I found it via a link Brother Abu Mussab Wajdi Akkari's site. Here is the Brother giving a small chat on human rights.

What I like about the super-religious is that they are in your face on the basic principle which faith operate: The worshipper is a slave to God.

I continue to strive in rectifying my condition and improving my relationship with my Master whom I ask to ever enslave me to His Majesty, grant me the honor to work in the service of His religion, and enable me to spread Islam until the last breath I shall breathe.

Though being a slave to His majesty sounds really appealing, I don't think I need a faith-based lobotomy at this time, thank you very much.

This is Purgatory.

Father Christmas

2011-12-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

A Purgatory tradition...

The Petition For a Statue Of Hitchens In London

2011-12-23T06:17:00.000-08:00

There is an online petition advocating a statue of Christopher Hitchens to be placed in London.

Dear Mr. Cameron and Mr. Clegg,

We the undersigned ask you to please commission, on our behalf, a memorial statue in a prime position within the City of London, honouring national treasure Christopher Hitchens for his contributions to the UK and the world.

Please ensure the statue is made of tough stuff, as he was, and accept suggestions and/or votes from his many fans as to which of his numerous famous quotes to have on the plaque.

Please also ensure that the statue is crafted using the famous, iconic picture of Christopher in the trench coat, as seen on the home of this petition at atheist-reference.org

Thank you.

Though I agree with the sentiment of having a statue of Hitchens in London, I don't feel the need that the man needs to be shown smoking. It would be something akin to erecting a statue of Ernest Hemingway holding a shotgun to his own head.

Here is the link if you wish to sign.

LiP

Secular Coalition's Voters' Guide

2011-12-22T18:47:00.000-08:00

The Secular Coalition for America has just released its voters' guide for the presidential candidates. You can find the basic scorecard here and the complete scorecard here.

What I find sad as well as funny (this is Purgatory, after all) is where the candidates are on the evolution issue. As the scorecard frames it: Does the candidate accept evolution by the theory of natural selection? Does the candidate support the teaching of evolution in all American biology classrooms? Does the candidate oppose the teaching of creationism and “intelligent design”?

Bachmann: Grade F

Bachmann said “God created Earth” and that excluding intelligent design in teaching evolution in public schools amounts to “censorship by government.”

Gingrich: Grade F

Gingrich said, “How do you think we came to be? We were randomly gathered protoplasm? We could have been rhinoceroses, but we got lucky this week?” Gingrich said he thinks removing religion from schools amounts to teaching “bad history.”

Huntsman: Grade A

Huntsman tweeted, “To be clear: I believe in evolution and trust scientists on global warming. Call me crazy.”

Obama: Grade A

“I’m a Christian, and I believe in parents being able to provide children with religious

instruction without interference from the state. But I also believe our schools are there to teach

worldly knowledge and science. I believe in evolution, and I believe there’s a difference between

science and faith. That doesn’t make faith any less important than science. It just means they’re

two different things. And I think it’s a mistake to try to cloud the teaching of science with theories that frankly don’t hold up to scientific inquiry,” he said.

Paul: Grade F

“I think evolution is a theory and I don’t accept it as a theory,” he said.

Perry: Grade F
Perry said evolution is “a theory that's out there” and one that’s “got some gaps in it.”Romney: Grade A

“I believe that God designed the universe and created the universe. And I believe evolution is most likely the process he used to create the human body,” he said.

Santorum: Grade F

In 2001 then-Senator Santorum proposed incorporating pro-intelligent design

language into the No Child Left Behind bill, that portrayed the theory of evolution as not widely
accepted. He said that anytime evolution is taught, children should also be taught why the
subject “generates so much continuing controversy"In a recent interview he said, “Science will only allow things in the classroom that are consistent with a non-creator idea of how we got here, as if somehow or another that's scientific.

*The wife just told me that the link to the complete scorecard isn't working. There seems to be something wrong over at that site. Hopefully it will soon be fixed.

Extreme Executive Power

2011-12-22T03:54:00.000-08:00

I found the below video on the Arizona Atheist this morning, and though many of you probably already are acquainted with this issue, I felt it was worth revisiting.

"...over the past decade, we have seen an entire political culture involving both Democrats, Republicans, pundits, and lets be honest voters, complicit in constructing a permanent regime of extreme executive power."

Day Of The Banana

2011-12-21T18:31:00.000-08:00

A gangbang of sin!

I was on the site Atheist Underworld the other day and read a post titled Islamic Cleric Bans “Penis Shaped Food”. I followed the link and read the article on the Daily Mail.

An Islamic cleric living in Europe has said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any 'sexual thoughts'.

The unnamed sheikh was quoted by el-Sawsana news saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male relative, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

The cleric said that these fruits and vegetables 'resemble the male penis' and could arouse women or 'make them think of sex,' in a story reported on Egyptian news website Bikya Masr.

Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

The opinion has stirred a storm of anger among Muslims online, with hundreds mocking the cleric.

Let me say without hesitation that the above tale turned out to be false. The original site that published the story had a long editorial apologizing for the error. Simply put, the editor did not independently verify the story. This case reminds me of when the BBC reported that a Jewish rabbinical court sentenced a dog to death by stoning because the canine was the reincarnation of a lawyer who had insulted them. Upon closer inspection that story was also proven to be 100% false.

The theists involved in each case may say something like, "Come on now, let's be reasonable, we would never endorse such lunacy." Religion is, after all, the repository of wisdom gathered from centuries of painstaking work. Thank God we have the theistic grey beards telling us all what the Almighty wants us to do.

That is exactly what the Head Lunatics who run the asylum would want us all to think. The Lunatics' claim is so flimsy that even a cursory look reveals its hollowness. Is the idea of an imam claiming that certain phallic shaped fruit and vegetables sinful really that absurd? Let's look at some opinions commonly held by the Islamic faithful in some areas in the world.

You may say I am Islamophobic, but the idea that over 80% of the Islamic population in Egypt consider it OK to kill people who leave their faith is far more absurd than an imam waging jihad against the produce section of your local supermarket. In Indonesia, the worlds third largest democracy, over 40% think that stoning people to death in cases of adultery is God's will. Personally speaking, I find that much harder to get my mind around than the sinful nature of the dreaded banana.

Sure, I'll be skeptical of reports that are blind stories -- in that the names of the people involved are not mentioned or even the country they supposedly reside in aren't stated. But I'm not going to be surprised that if a person believes in the Sky Fairy, then he or she holds other bizarre ideas (such as talking snakes, divine zombies, etc) as well.

This is Purgatory.

Race + Religion = Me In A Prayer Circle

2011-12-19T11:38:00.000-08:00

I got ambushed by Jesus yesterday.

I ran into a brick wall the other day. Don't worry it was only a metaphorical brick wall. The makeup of said wall was an interesting mixture of religion and race. Instead of being able to navigate around the construct I managed to drive directly into the thing.

I am far from Perfect. If Perfect, let's say for the sake of argument, was geographically located at the corner of 12th and Broadway in NYC (home of the Strand Bookstore), then I would normally be far away and visiting my brother-in-law in the boondocks of Georgia. My only solace would be that a vast majority of my species, homo absuridists, would be considerably further away discussing the nuances of Survivor or Dancing with the Stars. This past Sunday afternoon, however, I found myself very, very far away from Perfect, holding hands in a group prayer, and wondering how the hell I had been able to make such a poor choice.

Yes, there was alcohol involved. But not the way you are probably thinking.

I got out of work at approximately 3:30 in the afternoon on Sunday. I normally don't work on Sundays, but who in the middling classes is going to give up overtime during the mad orgy of capitalism known as Christmas? *Not I. One of my old bosses (she had transferred to another part of the company about 6 months ago) was throwing a party and showing off the video from her recent marriage in London. The get together was being held at one of the rooms in the Harvard Business School, which happened to be a few minutes away from where I work. My plan was to show up, socialize, drink a bit, and then go see the second half of the Patriots vs Broncos game at a pub in Somerville.

A flawless plan.

I got into the parking lot at a few minutes after 3:30, and promptly got lost. Seeing that all the students were gone away on break, I couldn't ask for directions. I did manage to get my friend's husband on the phone, and he and a few of his buddies found me. As we walked into the function room I made an interesting observation: I was the only white person there. My friend is black and originally from England, while her husband is African-American. In the past there were a variety of other white people at their get togethers. Not yesterday.

Now, I am used to being in the minority. I have radical views (what I consider reasonable opinions) on atheism, drug legalization, the legalization of prostitution, and of course, I am one of those people who make up the B in LGBT. I don't walk with the other ducks, and I do so with a bit of pride. However, the thing about having a point of view that is in the minority while being a white guy is very different from being a demographic minority within a group of people. It's a big difference, and I will tell you how this simple fact manifested itself.

Upon entering the party, I found my friend and another woman who I had worked with in the past, and engaged in the obligatory hellos. Before any in depth conversation started I needed to set my priorities straight -- where was the alcohol. The new bride brought me over to where the booze was kept and in the spirit of cutting down on calories I opted for a lovely combination of coconut rum and Coke.

I was happy. One hand held the glass full of the wondrous mix, while the other held onto the half empty (or half full for you optimists) can of Coke. Just as I have an afterglow after downing a very satisfying drink, I also glimmer beforehand in the expectation of consuming that drink. In such circumstances I pay even less attention to the world around me than I usually do. I am in the zone.

"I would like have everyone stand and join hands, and ask Cindy to lead us in prayer," I heard my friend say.

What? Prayer? Really?

Everyone was standing with arms outstretched. There I was and quickly weighing my options.

Well, I'm an atheist. I'm not holding any one's hands in prayer. And not just on religious grounds, either. I have a personal space bubble around me. I manage that bubble so that I don't have to come into unnecessary contact with other people. OK, that might be a little weird, but if everyone had a personal space bubble there would be a lower incidence of contagious diseases in the world. I'm going to stand up for my atheism as well as for high standards of interpersonal space. Ergo...
I would be the only white guy in the room AND refusing to hold any one's hand. In that case, most of the people who had just met me for the first time would refer to Andy as that racist white guy who didn't want to hold hands with us.

Oy. I could handle being the only guy not in a prayer circle that was made up of other white people. I could handle being the only guy not in a prayer circle that had only a few white people in it. I'm an out of the closet atheist. I tell people, when the topic comes up, that I don't believe in God. No problemo.

Yesterday, though, I chose to hold hands and be part of a circle that had nice, but deluded people. I didn't look down during the prayer. My eyes were unfocused, pointing straight ahead. I did it, and felt like a punk who didn't have the backbone. I'm glad my son and daughter weren't there to see me.

This is Purgatory.

* Even though we as a family don't spend a lot for the holiday, there is extra spending going on.

Tim Tebow's Top Five Reasons For Believing In God

2011-12-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

The modern day Socrates.

Here in the Boston area I have heard nothing but Tim Tebow, Tebowing, and other such nonsense, for the past few days due to today's game with the Patriots. I dedicate this post to Tim Tebow and the idiocy that springs forth from that man's mouth. Go Pats!

Tebow's complexity out-complexes the science of complexity.

5. The argument from complexity.

Quietly, Tebow has dazzled the Broncos coaches with his deep understanding of complex offenses. When he showed up to the team’s suite for his interview with the staff at last year’s combine, he immediately rattled off the principles of his offense at Florida. But then he launched into Norv Turner’s digit system as well as the Patriots’ offense, which the Broncos were also using. The coaches were stunned. How had he learned all this?

D'uh! God is the answer.

More awesome than AWESOM-O

4. The argument from awesomeness. Look at the Grand Canyon and what do you see? Millions of years of erosion done by the Colorado River or God? (Hint: all the good stuff is done by God -- all the bad stuff is your own damn fault.) Just like the awesomeness of the Grand Canyon, Tim Tebow's ability to be a quarterback who can also be a running back (the divine coupling known as a dual threat-quarterback ) is proof God exists.

Dude in the front left is totally Tebowing.

3. The argument from math. Just look at Tim Tebow's site and proudly displayed is the mother of all equations:

God Bless + Go Broncos = GB²

See? The Broncos exist and ergo God exists, too. If you don't get the math, you're going to Hell.

Mom knows best.

2. The argument from Mommy and Daddy. His father was a preacher and his mum home schooled the lad in Christian Principles and Philosophy (Cherry Picking Biblical Verses and Rationalizing God's Immorality to you and me).

Everytime Tim Tebow wins, an angel gets its wings.

1. The argument from winning. What really resonates with Tim Tebow is that Tim Tebow wins football games. God rewards with wins! Epic wins.

Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Joshua 1:8

Of course, the book of Joshua also endorses genocide, but those women and children had it coming (see point #4).

God's Love Will Send You to Hell.

2011-12-18T04:46:00.000-08:00

I was visiting the site Free Thinking Lebanon and found this video. It is of Bryan Fisher from the American Family Association and the host of American Family Radio exploring a specific manifestation of divine love: God loved Christopher Hitchens soooo much that He sent the writer to Hell for eternity.

At the present rate of progress Mr Fisher will soon place the term American Family in the same category of stigmatized terms like: National Socialist Workers Party, liberal, and atheist.

Just for the record, I never want anyone to love my family that much.

This is Purgatory.

Christopher Hitchens 1949-2011

2011-12-16T06:22:00.000-08:00

What do I like most about the late Christopher Hitchens? He was able to confront people, whether friend or foe, with well reasoned arguments and still do it in what I consider to be a genial manner. And he was able to do it spontaneously. This is no small feat. Even the most seasoned thinker can stumble with an off the cuff comment (just look at Dawkins in the dreaded Elevatorgate incident). The *clip below is an excellent example of his charm. In the first two minutes Bill Maher touts the all to common refrain that Europe is far ahead of America in terms of secularization. Hitchens effortlessly offers a retort that while refuting the claim does not insult the one who made it.

Remarkable. You could get the idea that Hitchens could thread the rhetorical needle without the messiness of actually needing thread nor needle.

The atheist community is dominated by the political left. Too many times people who vigorously defend their title as freethinkers are only repeating the contents of the Huffington Post. Christopher Hitchens not only had the span and depth of knowledge to support his points, but the courage to attack the sacred cows of any political team.

"If Michael Moore had had his way, Slobodan Miloisevic would still be the big man in a starved and tyrannical Serbia. Bosnia and Kosovo would have been cleansed and annexed. If Michael Moore had been listened to, Afghanistan would still be under Taliban rule,and Kuwait would have remained part of Iraq. And Iraq itself would still be the personal property of a psychopathic crime family, bargaining covertly with the slave state of North Korea for WMD. You might hope that a retrospective awareness of this kind would induce a little modesty. To the contrary, it is employed to pump air into one of the great sagging blimps of our sorry, mediocre, celeb-rotten culture. Rock the vote, indeed."

There are probably many Hitchens fans who are groaning at the WMD reference. However, I want to point out that before the misnamed fiasco known as the Iraq War (I'm pointing out the obvious fact that America's last official war was WW2) the PBS show Frontline had an episode that projected Iraq was five years away from a nuclear bomb (the episode was filmed during the Clinton administration). Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

Of course, some political figures are easy to sum up.

“[George W. Bush] is lucky to be governor of Texas. He is unusually incurious, abnormally unintelligent, amazingly inarticulate, fantastically uncultured, extraordinarily uneducated, and apparently quite proud of all these things.”

Hitchens oozed passion. And that passion was contagious. Any exposure to the man via his books, essays, or numerous Youtube vids, meant that you might catch the man's love of Oscar Wilde, **Johnny Walker Black, and of course atheism. Therein is a lesson to atheists everywhere: It is not enough to craft logically consistent polemics. Rather, if you're trying to communicate secular ideas consider yourself to be both scholar as well as performance artist. That way your message is not hobbled by the way it is transmitted.

I wish Christopher Hitchens' friends and family all the best.

LiP

* I found it this morning on Infidel753's site this morning.

** As a side note I have come to the conclusion that my forty-something metabolism can not handle the caloric load of the amount of beer that is required to accomplish the neurological effect desired. I am on a quest to find a drink that will still influence the brain without destroying the waistline. Wish me well.

Peace On Earth???

2011-12-15T11:10:00.000-08:00

As I finished up reading 2 Samuel, I came across these verses and decided to put them on our family's Christmas cards this year.

I pursued my enemies and crushed them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
I crushed them completely, and they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.
You armed me with strength for battle;
you humbled my adversaries before me.
You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foes.
They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.
I beat them as fine as the dust of the earth;
I pounded and trampled them like mud in the streets.

You all might be wondering what my Christmas e-card will look like. Here is a sneak peek.

Talking On The Radio About Atheism Part 2

2011-12-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

I was in my car on the way to the gym last Monday morning and listening to the Jim and Margery Show on 96.9FM. In the twenty minutes it takes me to get to the Y, I flip between 90.9 (National Public Radio), a wide variety of music stations, and 96.9. That morning there was a conversation concerning the latest battle in the War vs Christmas. It seems that Governor Patrick's (I live in MA) office made the fatal mistake in calling the winter solstice tree a holiday tree. The local religious rage machine had kicked into high gear and demanded the poor misnamed evergreen be brought back to its Christian roots. The host, Jim Braude (Margery was off) is a fairly level headed guy and pointed to the inherent absurdity of the Christmas vs Holiday tree kerfuffle.

I decided that I wasn't going to call in. I had called in a few months ago and actually got on the air to talk about the Pledge of Allegiance. That phone call went well. But this past Monday, was, well, a Monday. My heart simply wasn't in the fight. The morning had gone poorly (note I didn't post on Monday or Tuesday for that matter), and I felt lucky that I was making it to the gym. Nope gonna sit this one out.

That strategy went to hell pretty fast.

I heard a caller remark, "Christmas trees have always been Christmas trees." That was all it took for me to hit the speed dial for 96.9. As I have mentioned in the earlier post, when you call into a radio station most of the time you are on hold for quite a while before talking (if you get that far) to a live person. Not this time. I immediately got the person who was screening the phones.

What do you want to say to Jim?

My name is Andy. I'm an atheist with two kids, and we have a Christmas tree.

Where are you from, Andy?

I'm from Whitman.

I was then placed again on hold. As a side note, I pulled into a parking lot, and shut off the radio. Having the radio on while you're talking to the host can really mess things up since there is a several second delay from what is being said to when it is actually goes on the airwaves. While you're on hold you get to listen to the love broadcast. After a few more callers I was on.

...and this is Andy from Whitman.

Hi, Jim. I just want to say that I'm an atheist with two kids and we have a Christmas tree in our house.

Oh, so you're an atheist who lives in the real world.

Well, I think atheists particularly live in the real world. Look, we call it a Christmas tree, but I explain to the kids that Christians co opted the tree from pagans. It isn't really a Christmas tree. It's a yule tree. We keep it simple with calling it a Christmas tree.

I'm an agnostic myself.

That's cool.

One more thing, Andy. What do you say to people Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

I had some car problems the other day and a AAA guy came to take care of it. I wished him a Merry Christmas.

You're one broad minded atheist.

And that was the end of our conversation.

I can hear the but, buts from you all.

But, Andy, you didn't mention anything about the Holiday tree versus Christmas tree issue at the statehouse!

Correct. Jim didn't bring it up. If he did I would've replied something akin to, I thought government was supposed to fix the potholes and educate my kids? Why is the government in the holiday business to begin with? And if he pressed me harder on the topic, I'd say, "Why are right-leaning Christians who complain soooo much about the government's role in society want government interfering in their holiday? It's absurd."

But, Andy, you don't say Merry Christmas all the time, do you?

Correct. When I'm feeling cheeky (or drunk) I'll say Merry Winter Solstice or Happy Yuletide. Under normal circumstances, however, I'm 50-50 on whether I say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. Christmas is quickly turning into a secular holiday, and in fifty years or so (in my humble opinion) Christmas in the States will have as much to do about religion as St Patrick's Day currently does. That being said, it's more of a habit when I say Merry Christmas.

Overall, what I kept in mind at in that moment was I may be people's first exposure to a real live atheist and atheism. What I didn't want to do is come across as is someone who is alien, angry, or overly snarky. Ergo, I didn't launch into my schtick. Anyone who has read my comments on other blogs understands that I value a wide range of tactics when discussing religion. It would be naive to think that one stratagem would be applicable in all situations when interacting with the faithful. (One exeption -- Don't buy your trees from the Boy Scouts!) In this case I was Mr. Nice Guy (a role I'm not too comfortable with). I was hoping that anyone listening who hadn't been exposed to atheism or atheists may begin to see us as likable. Perhaps the overwhelming distrust that many people in the radio audience have of us was lessened a wee bit. Maybe. Maybe not.

I will say this much: If you're an atheist and live in the Boston area, listen and call the Jim and Margery Show (6AM-10AM) on 96.9FM. You may just get airtime and have an opportunity to talk about atheism in an open and fair forum.

LiP

The Atheist-Islamo-Fascist Jihad On Christmas - Part Whatever

2011-12-12T05:28:00.000-08:00

HIS one eye is
watching you!

Archaeologists have recently unearthed an early medieval hamlet in Germany. Amongst the relics found was a proclamation titled: Keep the Yule in Yuletide. It was written by Angst Wigan who was an extremely wealthy individual for his time. Angst utilized his personal fortune to pay runners to go to local communities and read aloud his editorials defending the traditional Germanic holiday of Yuletide against the Christians who wished to destroy it utterly.

Here is the translation of one of Angst's pieces.

People of Germany, there is good news to report! We are winning the War for Yuletide! As all of you are aware, there are un-Germanic elements in our society who wish to destroy our traditional winter solstice holiday. They have been working tirelessly to replace the season's greeting of Happy Yuletide! to the subversive Merry Christmas. Although Christians love to bray that Jesus is the reason for the Season, loyal Germans know that it is really the yule that puts the yule in the yule log, the yule boar, and, of course, the month of Yule. We are a yule-based society. We can ill afford to forget that it was due to Odin's love for His people that we were able to defeat the Roman Legions in the Teutoberg Forest so long ago, and that we enjoy our high standard of living due to His blessings. Anyone who doesn't like it can go back to Rome to eat their dead god and drink his blood.

Our recent boycotts of Sven's Tannery and Count Hackleberg's Haberdashery have yielded sweet fruit. They have taken down all of their pro-Christmas Christian propaganda and replaced it with wonderful Yuletide art. Greeters at those stores now wish customers Happy Yuletide! and offer children a free miniature figurine of the Divine Mothers or Odin fighting the Fenris Wolf. Best of all good German parents will not have to explain to their children why some people believe in an aberrant faith and practice barbaric rituals during our Nordic holiday.

Keep the faith brothers and sisters!

In Odin we trust,

Angst Wigan

Christmas Trees Or Holiday Trees? Either Way Christianity Is On the Way Out Says Dan Silverman

2011-12-10T14:31:00.000-08:00

Turing thinks that you shouldn't
be buying any trees
from the Boy Scouts.

Dan Silverman, president of American Atheists, pointed out the obvious: Obama's use of the word Christmas tree (vs against holiday tree), and singing the praises of Christianity during the holiday tree lighting in Washington DC was absurd. Absurd that other faiths were eclipsed by Jesusism,

It’s a shame that the president totally dismissed the other adherents, the other celebrations that are happening at this time,

and that Christians who read their supposed "good book" should understand that engaging in pagan-based festivities is a no-no,

He pointed to a passage from the Bible, Jeremiah 10:2, “Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen … for they cutteth a tree out of the forest … They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.”

Guess who was tapped to give the "Yay, God! We want to undermine the wall between Church and State" side of the argument? Bill Donahue of the Catholic League.

I commend (Obama) for speaking honestly and plainly. ... Others should follow suit,

Mr Donahue is fighting for those horribly misnamed holiday trees found in several state capitals to return to their Christian name.

The Catholic League president blames what he sees as a " kind of militant secularism, this dogmatic idea that we can’t have any semblance of religion in the public square without somebody attempting to at least pare it back, if not ban it all together.”

Oy.

Thankfully Dan Silverman again offers some rational thinking to Mr Donahue's irrationality.

But Silverman said this time of year is for all people, not just Christians: “Christianity thinks it owns this whole season, but this season, it belongs to everybody, and Christianity is not the first, nor the 10th religion to try and usurp the winter solstice for their own.”

And later, Dan points out that Jesus and Yahweh are on the path to the mythology section of the library.

Silverman counters, “The reason that you are getting fervency from the other side, the religious right, is because they know we’re winning.

“They know that, 10 to 15 years ago, nobody was saying Happy Holidays, everybody was saying Merry Christmas, it was all about Jesus, and they’re losing, and they’re not losing because of violence, they are losing because people are simply realizing, en masse, that religion is full of crap. And you can quote me on that,” said the president of American Atheists.

Amen.

LiP

My Email To Rick Perry

2011-12-08T13:46:00.000-08:00

I sent this email to the Perry campaign after watching this video.

Governor Perry, as a faith leader in my community I congratulate you on your stance against Obama's war on religion. However, I'm not exactly sure who I will endorse in 2012. What is near and dear to my heart is the state of Israel. I truly believe that we will not have peace until Israel obtains it's biblically mandated borders as stated in Exodus 22:31 -“I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River. I will give into your hands the people who live in the land, and you will drive them out before you."
Governor, do support Israel in meeting its territorial destiny?

Andrew Hill

Top Five List Of What The Republican Presidential Candidates Are Offering Israel.

2011-12-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

A few days ago Republican Presidential Candidates met with Republican Jewish Leaders, and pledged their undying support for the Jewish state. Of course, there was some rivalry between the politicians on who could come up with the best way to please this important group.

5. Give Israel its God given borders. All the candidates agreed that Israel's borders should meet God's specifications.

“I will establish your borders from the Red Seato the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River. I will give into your hands the people who live in the land, and you will drive them out before you." Exodus 22:31

Democrats were hasty to point out that the biblical demarcations for Israel would mean that other countries would have to give up territory. Newt Gingrich retorted that the Syrians weren't doing anything useful with that land anyway.

4. Mitt Romney stated that every Israeli could get one free visit to where the Garden of Eden once stood -- Jackson, Missouri. Most Jews don't realize that Jackson County, Missouri was where the Garden of Eden once stood.

You have been both to Jerusalem and Zion, and seen both. I have not seen either, for I have never been in Jackson County. Now it is a pleasant thing to think of and to know where the Garden of Eden was... I do not think many do, for in Jackson County was the Garden of Eden. Joseph has declared this, and I am as much bound to believe that as to believe that Joseph was a prophet of God. Brigham Young

3. Rick Santorum, not wanting to be outdone, stated that for every Israeli who made the pilgrimage to Jackson, Missouri would also get a fifty dollar gift card for Branson, Missouri. The Chosen People will at last have the opportunity to delight to the sounds of the 3 Redneck Tenors.

2. Rick Perry announced a new monument in Washington, DC dedicated to the three thousand Jews who died in the Holocaust. Yes, the Perry campaign is in damage control mode (again).

1. Michele Bachmann stated that there would be no special handouts to Israel. The candidate stated that she is a true fiscal conservative, but as President she would welcome warm relations with any Christian country. When informed that Jews are not Christian she said, "Really, no lie?"

Parenting, Democracy, And Pearl Harbor Day

2011-12-07T07:11:00.000-08:00

I can list off fifty
types of Pokemon,
but can't tell you
what democracy is.

There will be times that a parent will feel that they have failed their child in some way. This is a natural part of the parenting process. The amount of work, energy, and resources that go into doing the job right can be, well, daunting to say the least. It is too easy to place the child on autopilot and assume that your kid will pick up the necessary skills, or that somehow important facts will migrate via a type of mystic osmosis from your brain to his or hers.

After getting out of work today at 7am, and driving to pick the Ali and Will (ages 6 and 9) from their aunt's house (the Wife is at a conference), I was looking at a notice that the school had sent home in Will's bag regarding student council. It seems that fourth graders have the opportunity to experience the democratic process up close. Oddly enough, the kids do not get to vote for their representative. Each candidate must write a letter about why they should be be allowed to represent their classroom to the teacher in charge of the vetting process. Two teachers will then decide who the reps are.

Well, the manner in which the representatives are chosen is not democracy in action, per se, but at least it prevents a 4th grade mobocracy. Who knows where that would lead? A Committee for Public Safety perhaps? Or maybe they would carry out the one person, one vote, one time rule and elect a 9 year-old tyrant?

Regardless, I sat Will down and we discussed the matter.

Me: Will, I see that your grade is involved in the school's student council.

Will: *Silence*

Will has that look on his face: this looks like more work and less fun.

Me: Look, student council is an opportunity to see how democracy works...

Will: What's democracy?

There are times that I am simply gobsmacked. That the information being processed somehow shortcircuits the frontal lobes of my brain. Sure, the lower brain functions so that I keep breathing and the heart pumps, but otherwise I am stunned. This was one of those times.

How could a 9 year-old in Massachusetts, the cradle of American Liberty (OK, I know Virginians will take issue with this), not know what democracy is? For Christ sakes, I was looking at my boy's science test earlier and he knows a magnetic field is strongest at the poles, and yet he doesn't know what democracy is? And I'm not asking for him to understand ancient Athenian history or recite the driving forces that caused the Roman Republic to fall. No. What I simply expect is that that he can simply recite something like the people govern themselves.

Luckily, I grew up with in a pack of wolves (my family) in an asylum (the great metropolis of Brockton, MA) during the crack epidemic. I can quickly recover from a sudden onset of the gobsmack without overreacting.

Me: Well, democracy is when a group of people govern themselves. They make their own rules. Before that people were ruled by kings and tyrants. Ancient Athens was famous for having a democracy. In other cities people were being told what to do by a king.

At that point it was time to get going for school. Seeing that it was raining, I decided to take the kids. On the way the Will and Ali talked about their holiday concert tonight. When we got to the school we were then stuck in the line of other parents dropping their kids off. The radio crackled and the announcer mentioned that today is Pearl Harbor Day. I mentioned this fact to the kids. I knew they didn't know what that meant, and I didn't suspect the teachers to go over what has sadly become trivia, though it certainly isn't trivial. I explained the basics: The Empire of Japan decided to attack a Naval base in Hawaii on this day in 1941. The attack killed a lot of people and that is what got America into World War II.

I turned around to add emphasis.

Japan was controlled by its military, and its people thought the Emperor was a god.

It was our turn in line. The kids got out of the car and sprinting into the school.

If nothing else maybe Will can give a basic definition of democracy; at the most he is on the way of understanding how dangerous rampant militarism and out of control religion is to democracy.

This is Purgatory.

Penn And Teller On The Boy Scouts

2011-12-06T06:06:00.000-08:00

In my continuing series on why the Boy Scouts should be boycotted, here is Penn and Teller discussing the organization. One of the points they go over is how the Boy Scouts act like a public organization when they get state money, and yet they demand they are a private organization when they wish to discriminate.

Street Preachers And The First Amendment

2011-12-05T03:27:00.000-08:00

I do not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it - Voltaire

This guy makes more
sense than these
street preachers.

The First Amendment that protects reasonable people saying reasonable things also protects unreasonable people unreasonable things -- no matter how distasteful. A recent case involvoing street preachers in Houston, Texas illustrates this point. David Stokes of Bulldog Ministries and Dave Allen of Horn of Samuelbook.com were on a street corner in the predominantly gay community of Montrose preaching Bronze Age morality of how atheists, gays, witches, idolaters, well, it's a long list, are going to HELL. Mr. Allen, in typical I'm going to get attention anyway I can manner, occasionally blew a shofar (rams horn) just in case people didn't see his signs. Here is what happened next.

But police showed up after receiving a complaint. The men shot home video of the encounter, which rapidly escalated. The video shows an officer struggling with Stokes. Officers can be heard shouting at the men and telling them to calm down.

What was the crime these Christian extremists were charged with?

Officers handcuffed and detained the men. They also cited them for having an illegal instrument and for displaying signs that were more than a quarter of an inch thick, which violates a city ordinance.

Bad music and signs that violated some obscure arbitrary rule. Not precisely justice.

I first heard about this absurdity via a buddy of mine who happens to be a conservative Christian on Facebook. Now, we have had many discussions about gay marriage, and I consistently point out that while the Constitution places high value on free speech, it conversely places low value on people's feelings getting hurt by that free speech. You can't have free discussions and ensure people don't get upset. Just as Christians do not have a legitimate point when they complain gay marriage is wrong because it makes them feel icky inside, the street preachers have a right to say whatever crazy talk they want to as long as they are not inciting immediate violence (the don't cry fire in a crowded theater theory).
The preachers, of course, consider themselves doing a good thing.

"We were just spreading a word of love telling people this is a sin,” said Allen.

This is coming from a man who proudly invokes the name of Samuel. The same Samuel who followed the orders of a sociopathic God and demanded genocide in the Old Testament.

Samuel said to Saul, “I am the one the LORD sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen now to the message from the LORD. ² This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. ³ Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy^[a] all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’” 1 Samuel 15: 1-3

If a person invokes Mao, Stalin, or that moustached German fellow, when they are spreading the supposed word of love, I'm be a wee bit skeptical. After all, aren't we supposed to know the character of a person much like a tree -- by the fruit that they bear (the acts that they do)? It's pretty safe to say that Mr Allen has deluded himself and trying to get others to walk down a hateful path.
The Christian media cried foul when they heard that a lesbian judge was going to hear the case. How could they hope for justice when one destined for Hell holds their fate?

Easy. This is America, and despite all of our problems we are a nation of laws. Those laws are enshrined in a secular document, the Constitution, that provides protection to individuals who are very right (like skeptics) as well as to people who are very, very wrong (like Mr Allen and his horn of absurdity).

Their case was dismissed on December 2nd due to insufficient evidence.

This is Purgatory.

Don't Buy A Christmas Tree From The Boy Scouts!

2011-12-04T15:13:00.000-08:00

Don't buy a Christmas tree
from this bigot.

I was walking along the bike path into Davis Square, Somerville, MA (arguably one of the coolest places on the planet) with my friend the other night, and we passed a group of bigots selling Christmas trees. Those bigots, of course, were the Boy Scouts of America. I have written a few posts going over how the Boy Scouts receive government assistance for their activities, and yet in 2000 the Supreme Court gave the Bigot Scouts a seal of approval to keep the godless from their ranks.

It's one thing to have your tax dollars spent on an anti-atheist organization without your consent. It's something completely different when you voluntarily hand over your hard earned money to them. Do you want to make a difference? Tell your friends, whether they are atheists, agnostics, or theists who have a conscience, not to buy a Christmas tree from the Boy Scouts.

Tough Guy Insanity

2011-12-02T18:19:00.000-08:00

Tanks first saw action at the
Battle of the Somme.

The following is not a fake news story or comedy bit -- it's all 100 % true.

Are there any tough guys out there?

Any tough guys who want to run a mile while carrying a 66 lb cross that is 8 ft high and a 5 foot crossbeam?

If so, than you can be a Jesus Warrior!

I was doing some research for today's Newsiest News Story (Mitt Romney decides to toughen up his image) and decided to do a search for tough guy. Lo and behold, the first listing was for the Tough Guy competition. I had never heard of it, but with a name like Tough Guy there had to be some testosterone infused madness going on. I wasn't disappointed.

Tough Guy is like a church service for the masochist. Here is what their winter event entails.

Winter Tough Guy™ are you ferocious enough to take on the original and ultimate challenge offering brain freeze like you've never experienced before! Taking place at the end of January, in freezing Winter conditions, Winter Tough Guy™ is staged over a course of eight country miles. It consists of a gruelling mud run followed by a beasting through The Killing Fields assault course - not forgetting the barbed wire, cuts, scrapes, burns, dehydration, hypothermia, acrophobia, claustrophobia, electric shocks, sprains, twists, joint dislocation and broken bones you should be so lucky.

Wow, like that sounds awsome. I guess I'll be busy at home that day not winning a Darwin Award, thank you very much.

I don't have a problem with watching other men overdose on testosterone. I'm a fan of mixed martial arts (an interesting note is that Dana White, the UFC President, is an atheist, and so is Joe Rogan, a UFC commentator). But while mixed martial arts is a sport of skill and strategy Tough Guy is, well, only about being tough. And it's kinda stupid. One of the areas on the course is named the Battle of the Somme. For those of you non-history geeks out there, the Battle of the Somme occurred in World War One and was a text book example of mass slaughter.

The Battle of the Somme was one of the largest battles of the First World War; by the time fighting had petered out in late autumn 1916 the forces involved had suffered more than 1 million casualties, making it one of the bloodiest military operations ever recorded.

What is even more remarkable is that this event is held in the UK. Some of the participants great-grandfathers probably died at the Somme. I think the Battle of the Somme in the Tough Guy event is misnamed. There aren't any nests of German machine gunners mowing down those guys. People aren't throwing live grenades at them. It would be something like a group of American idiots making a reality show about a swimming/diving competition and calling it Pearl Harbor. Another disturbing (and remember, we're not even at the crosses yet) aspect about Tough Guy is their love of this fascistic font. Watch this.

As I was absorbing all of this I noticed this bit on the homepage.

UPGRADE to Jesus Warrior Squad

Only 200 Places Cross Personalised
Advance 5 Minute Start
Weighing 30kg x 2.5m x 1.5m
Worldwide TV coverage, all the agony, struggling, sweating, pain for charity fund raising

That's right, you can carry a cross with you for the first mile of the next Tough Guy competition. The proceedes from the cross related fee goes to a non-crazy charities (normal stuff like keeping kids off sthe streets, helping animals, etc.) What I'm really interested in is that each cross is personalized. Um, doesn't it make sense that they all should have Jesus' name on them? He was the guy who supposedly got crucified.

Regardless, I'm looking forward to the end of January 2012 when the the inevitable You Tube video will come out of 200 delusional men running about carrying crosses with their own names on them.

This is Purgatory.

Pike County church bans interracial couples from membership

2011-12-01T04:52:00.000-08:00

Why You Should Come Out Of The Closet.

2011-11-30T08:44:00.000-08:00

For those of you who aren't out of the closet atheists, I'm going to present an argument (though not the only one, of course) why you should publicly declare yourself one of the godless. By not coming out of the closet you're making it difficult for other atheists. I'm going to focus on two posts from the blog Epiphenomenon.

The first post, Safety in Numbers reviews a psychological study done be Will Gervais out of the University of British Columbia. Gervais has been exploring the relationship between atheists and the general level of distrust we encounter on an everyday basis.

... students were asked to read an essay that either told them that there were very few atheists at their university (only 5% of students), or alternatively one that told them atheists were very common (50% of students at their university, and the fourth largest religious group in the world). Sure enough, those students who were told that atheists were common also thought that they were more trustworthy.

This is the methology that the study used.

In this test, the subjects are given pictures of two people - one they are told is an atheist, the other a religious person. They then have to categorize words related to trust/distrust when paired with one or the other person. How long takes to do this depends on whether the pairings jar with your preconceptions.

And, as you can see in the graph, their implicit, subconscious trust of atheists really does seem to have been affected by the simple expedient of making them think that atheists are more common than they realised.

There are a variety of possible reasons why the larger the of ratio perceived atheists in a community means that atheists are more generally trusted. This is one situation where I tend towards pragmatism. I don't care why. The calculus points to a simple fact:

Greater number of atheists in the community = Less stigma we all have to live with.

There is not only safety in numbers, there is strength.

The second post, Atheists and rapists: you just can't trust'em, reviews another study by Gervais that supports the hypothesis that atheists are disliked because we are distrusted. (As against to homosexuals, on the otherhand are typically distrusted because they seem "icky".)

Students at the University of British Columbia were told about a man named Richard.

Richard is 31 years old. On his way to work one day, he accidentally backed his car into a parked van. Because pedestrians were watching, he got out of his car. He pretended to write down his insurance information. He then tucked the blank note into the van’s window before getting back into his car and driving away.

Later the same day, Richard found a wallet on the sidewalk. Nobody was looking, so he took all of the money out of the wallet. He then threw the wallet in a trash can.

The students then were asked a few questions.

So, is Richard most likely to be a teacher, or a teacher and a Christian? What about a teacher and Muslim. Or a rapist? Or an atheist?

Well, it really is as bad as you think.

The participants thought that the morally questionable Richard was more likely to be an atheist than a rapist. Rapists are bad, just not as bad as the godless.

And that's bad...

for us.

Another study was ran where the profile of Richard had him afflicted with a whole variety of icky characteristics: horrible, flaky skin and covered with snot. Atheism was not associated with those attributes.

The good news is that people don't think we're lepers; the bad news is that we're simply distrusted.

Oh, the other good news is that the solution to this problem is clear: there needs to be greater presence of atheists in the culture at large. Even though the average atheist may feel like they have little control over mob mentality, there is something every person can do, and that is to come out.

I do wish to acknowledge the limitations of this line of reasoning. Are you in Saudi Arabia and value your life? Probably not the best place to be a public atheist. Maybe you're 15 years-old, living in the buckle of the Bible belt and have religious parents. I suggest extreme caution. (In fact wait until you're financially independent.) As with any major life decision prudence is key. Genies do not go back into the bottle.

LiP

Email Jesus!

2011-11-29T10:19:00.000-08:00

I added a new page (see above) stating a brand new service offered on Purgatory! Here it is.

Laughing in Purgatory is pleased to announce a new member of the team: Jesus of Nazareth, aka Jesus Christ, aka God the Son, aka Christ. After reading about my emailing Santa Claus, Jesus contacted me and expressed a desire to field questions directly from the public. Jesus is aware that there may be those who are more interested with emailing him as against saying to the run-of-the-mill Lord's Prayer. And who wouldn't want to email Him? Don't you need some heavenly advice from someone who is omniscient and omnipotent? Holidays will be a lot easier if you knew that irritating aunt or uncle is going to Hell. If you ask Jesus nicely he may do you a solid and take your name off His naughty list (Santa's list is another matter all together). Of course, emailers will need to understand that he may not get back to you immediately. Christmas is a very busy time of year for Him. There are many heartfelt wishes sent to Santa that end up with Jesus. Also bear in mind that natural disasters may cause a delay. The prayers flood (earthquake, drought, etc) in during those times.
Simply email Jesus at LaughinginPurgatory@Yahoo.com and place Jesus in the subject line.

Racist Woman Demonstrating To Her Child How To Be Racist

2011-11-28T15:55:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you some crazy primate sh*t straight out of London.

I originally found this on Curious Musings Of A Curious Mind. I found it so insane I had to share it.

2 Samuel Confirms (Yet Again) That God Is Evil.

2011-11-28T05:29:00.000-08:00

I does what I does.

I don't want Purgatory to be burdened by OMG! YAHWEH is such a jerk! posts. However, as I'm reading through the good book there are cases where I feel the need to share the insanity found in that supposed holy tome. I was reading the story of David and Bathsheba. For those of you who have forgotten the story from Sunday school let's go over the basics.

In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem. 2 Samuel 11:1

Well, that seems somewhat normal, eh? The Jews are out smiting the uncut (an insult that the ancient Jews used for the uncircumcised). What is different here is that David is just hanging out and not enjoying the killing, and only bad things will come of it.

One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful 2 Samuel 11:1

If FOX News was covering this story, they would say she was tempting David by taking a bath -- in her own house.

and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, “I am pregnant.” 2 Samuel 11:3-5

Yikes. The obvious should be stated right here right now: the penalty for adultery is death. (Lev. 20:10). David decides to do the honorable thing, and tries to cover up the crime. He sends for Bathsheba's husband, Uriah, and tries to setup a situation where the man is going to sex-it-up with her.

Clever.

But this Uriah fellow is simply too loyal to have sex with his wife while the army is out smiting the Canaanites.

Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open country. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!” 2 Samuel 11:11

David then got him drunk, but there was no way around the fact that Uriah wasn't having sex with Bathsheba. So David did the obvious thing and made sure the guy died in battle.

In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. In it he wrote, “Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.” 2 Samuel 11: 14-15

And as most of us recall, this plan was a smashing success. Uriah is killed, and David marries Bathsheba. Problem solved.

Kinda.

Sorta.

The Lord (and anyone who has heard the courtly gossip, and can put one and one together) knows what has happened. He sends His guy Nathan to issue the Almighty's judgement. The judgement should be fairly straight forward: The punishment for adultery is death and since I am the omnipotent, omniscient being I'll just pick another lackey to do my bidding.

That would make sense, but the Bible isn't in the business of making sense.

Nathan tells David that as punishment God is going to humiliate David by having an underling publicly take David's harem away from him.

“This is what the LORD says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’” 2 Samuel 11: 11-12

It's poetic in a sense, but calling it justice would be a crime.
One other small thing, God is going to kill a few of your kids, too.

Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own. 2 Samuel 11:10

Well, David is sorry (or at least sorry he has been caught).

Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.”

Is David going to be put to death? Of course not, David is upper management, it's always the underlings who pay the price.

Nathan replied, “The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the LORD, the son born to you will die.” 2 Samuel 12: 13-14

The son that the Lord has chosen to kill is the one growing in Bathsheba's womb. Bleeding heart liberal types may say it's morally wrong to condemn an innocent baby to death. But the true believer will arch a knowing eyebrow and say, "Is anyone really innocent in the eyes of the Lord?"

No.

Because YAHWEH is evil.

This is Purgatory.

Blogging Buttons

2011-11-26T18:29:00.000-08:00

Hey, everyone. I typically don't talk about blogging too much, but I'll make an exception here. You will notice two additions to Purgatory. One is the Purgatory Blog Button on the upper right column. (Yes, the background picture is inspired from Dante's Paradiso.) Under the image is HTML code. In case you wish to place the Purgatory button on your own blog, just copy the the code and paste it in a HTML widget. It's that easy. The second addition is The Newest Newsy News button on the upper left hand column. Clicking it will send you to my more mainstream/fake news comedy blog which I've been updating daily.

LiP

Hinduism Versus Freedom Part... Well I've Stopped Counting

2011-11-26T13:33:00.000-08:00

Hinduism, it really is the major religion that atheists overlook when we do our "religion is crazy" shtick. Not here in Purgatory. I have a Times of India ap on my smart phone and I regularly check out what's happening on the subcontinent. The Times of India reports on the all the important stories: dealing with a crazy nuclear armed neighbor (Pakistan), the Maoist insurgency (some people still take that stuff seriously) going on in India, Bollywood,etc. Well, one recent article struck me as worth writing about here: Hindus upset over Ganesha T-shirt designs.

Hindu community in the US has asked a local online company to immediately remove Lord Ganesha T-shirt designs displayed on its website, calling them absurd.

For those of you not in the know , Ganesha is the elephant headed god who rides on a giant rat. Really, not making it up.

Somehow we're not supposed to make of that??? I digress, back to the article.

Threadless Tess, a community-centered online apparel company of skinnyCorp, has been asked to remove four of the designs from its website.

Hindu activist Rajan Zed said, "Such absurd depiction of Lord Ganesha with no scriptural backing was hurtful to the devotees."

He said that such trivialisation of Lord Ganesha was disturbing and offensive to the one billion Hindus world over.

Here we go again. Certain segments of an immoral cult (religion to you and me) want to make sure that the rest can laugh at only the "right things". Sorry, no blasphemous knock-knock jokes, cartoons of your favorite prophet, or inappropriate t-shirts allowed. To listen to them you would think that their mum is getting kicked in the shins and her pension check stolen by how they cry out how "hurtful" and "disturbing" the satirical shirts are.
Threadless Tees had this to say in reply,

"The Ganesha design on our site, was submitted by an artist, but never printed or available for purchase. At this time, we have no further comments on this design," Bethany Allen, a PR spokeswoman for Threadless Tee said.

Could it be that the Hindu religious right are making assertions before fact checking? How American of them.
This is Purgatory.

The Texas State Constitution And Atheists

2011-11-25T08:21:00.000-08:00

Looks like
bigotry to me.

I'm guessing that many people in the US don't know that atheists are officially restricted from holding public office in some states. Let's see what the Texas State Constitution has to say about this issue.

See, you could be a Baptist, Catholic or theoretically a Muslim (provided that you survive the stoning) and serve the people of Texas. However, if you're one of the godless you're out of luck.

LiP

A Timeline On The Development Of Life.

2011-11-24T04:41:00.000-08:00

I was in Boston's Museum of Science the other day with the family and checked out a chart demonstrating the history of life on the planet in terms of geological time. I found this video on Too Many Tribbles that illustrates the timeline nicely.

And though I'm no biologist by a long stretch I'm always interested in gathering various chestnuts of knowledge that I can carry in my mouth pouches like a squirrel in November. I was on Pharyngula and saw that Lynn Margulis died. Yeah, I didn't know who she was either. I followed the link and found out she helped develop the theory of how eurkaryotic cells evolved,

Although she was best known for her work on the endosymbiotic theory–the now generally accepted idea that mitochondria, chloroplasts, and other organelles within eukaryotic cells were once free-living bacteria–her research and her courses covered essentially all the living and nonliving things on earth and the interactions among them.

I hope everyone in the States has a good Thanksgiving.

Newt Gingrich drops out of presidential race!

2011-11-23T07:51:00.000-08:00

Here is a story from my other blog The Newest Newsy News.

Washington DC - After a strong performance at yet another Republican debate last night, Newt Gingrich has been ejected from the gaggle of Republican presidential hopefuls. The reason for this about turn for Mr Gingrich is that he is not constitutionally qualified to be President of the United States. Although he is over the age of thirty-five and a natural born citizen of the US it has been discovered that Newt Gingrich is in all reality a Meleagris gallopavo, commonly known as a wild turkey.

The story broke last night as pundits, analysts and late night talk show hosts began to connect the dots. Jimmy Kimmel noted in his monologue how focused the candidate was on certain topics,

"I know the debate was supposed to be on foreign affairs, but did anyone notice that Newt kept going on what a friend the US has with the Turkish government? Even when the other nominees talked about illegal immigration Newt kept going on about how inhuman it was to baste turkeys."

In the wee hours of the early morning CNN anchor Louis Canard compared a series of photographs with devastating effects on the Gingrich campaign.

Newt working a crowd in Iowa

The candidate lounging around at home.

The CNN anchor than produced a copy of Mr Gingrich's original birth certificate. It clearly read that Mr Gingrich was hatched at Sunnydale Farms on June 17, 1943.

The Gingrich team immediately went into crisis management mode. Spokesperson Marvin S. Galliformes cried fowl at the charges.

These outlandish claims are baseless. I wish to say that Mr Gingrich is not and has never been a wild or domestic turkey. Newt is a proud American and has always been pro-mammal.

However the turkey, so to speak, was out of the bag. The morning news shows dissected all of the candidate's pro-turkey views such as increasing the number of turkeys the President annually pardoned from being eaten on Thanksgiving from two to forty-six million and replacing the bald eagle with the noble turkey as the country's official animal.

Newt eventually called a press conference to announce that he will no longer continue to seek the office of the President of the United States. In his closing remark Mr. Gingrich stated that the mainstream press will no longer be able to ruffle his feathers.

Doesn't wish to talk turkey.

You Wouldn't Want King David To Be Your Boss.

2011-11-22T03:54:00.000-08:00

It's good to be da king.

I was reading through the Bible the other day and I realized (once again) how many basically good people who are Christians have to harbor many, many immoral concepts to make Christianity work. I don't think that many Christians of today really agree with the crazy things found in the Old Testament. Sure, there are believers who say something like, "Well, that all happened before Christ, and we have a new covenant in his blood." Of course that answer implies the fact that such acts were moral at that time (funny line of thought from people who hate moral relativism). It's like saying, "Smashing babies' heads aganst the curb was OK a week ago, but now it's completely off limits."

I have an example of such craziness from the book I am currently reading through, II Samuel. II Samuel is all about David and his being king. David conquers Jerusalem from those nasty uncircumcised lot the Jebusites (a tribe of Canaanites) and decides to bring the Ark of the Covenant into the city. It should be an easy task, but management (David) decided to make an alteration to the Almighty's plan.

² He and all his men went to Baalah in Judah to bring up from there the ark of God, which is called by the Name, the name of the LORD Almighty, who is enthroned between the cherubim on the ark. ³ They set the ark of God on a new cart and brought it from the house of Abinadab, which was on the hill. Uzzah and Ahio, sons of Abinadab, were guiding the new cart ⁴ with the ark of God on it, and Ahio was walking in front of it. ⁵ David and all Israel were celebrating with all their might before the LORD, with castanets, harps, lyres, timbrels, sistrums and cymbals. II Samuel 6: 2-5

It appears that everything is going well. However, David decided to have the ark carried on a cart and not in the divinely mandated way: on the shoulders of the Levites.

Cue the ominous music.

⁶ When they came to the threshing floor of Nakon, Uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of God, because the oxen stumbled. ⁷ The LORD’s anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down, and he died there beside the ark of God. II Samuel 6: 6-7

I contest that it was management's (David's) decision to have the Ark carried by cart. This Uzzah fellow simply wanted to make sure that the Ark didn't fall off the cart. If anything the man should have been given an employee of the month award for his dedication. Instead God strikes the poor schmuck down and leaves the David alone. What sort of all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving deity does that?

It's almost like Wall Street and our polititicans ruining the economy and the rest of us lose our jobs.

Almost (?)

I know, that's just crazy talk...

in Purgatory.

A Picture And A Quick Joke.

2011-11-20T16:58:00.000-08:00

The family and I went to the Boston Science Museum today. Here is Ali checking out the Mobius strip.

A buddy of mine put this joke on Facebook yesterday:

Knee-slapping humor to a topologist: Question: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius Strip? Answer: To get to the same side.

LiP

Another Reason Why Not To Circumcise

2011-11-19T07:44:00.000-08:00

There are reasons why not to circumcise your boy: it's a medically unnecessary procedure and to break the covenant with the sociopathic Judeo-Christian-Islamic God. (I always state the latter point in pleasant conversation on why my boy isn't cut.) Now it turns out that being uncircumcised is a lot more fun. I originally found out about this study on The Advice Goddess Blog and then went to the original article Male circumcision leads to a bad sex life that can be found in ScienceNordic.

If a man is circumcised, he faces an increased risk of experiencing delayed orgasm, and his female partner has an increased risk of not feeling sexually fulfilled.

...Some 5,000 sexually active men and women were surveyed about their experiences and possible problems with their sex lives. With a specific focus on circumcised men and their women, the results are startling.

“Circumcised men are three times as likely to experience a frequent inability to reach an orgasm,” says one of the researchers, associate professor Morten Frisch of SSI, a Danish research, production and service enterprise.

Circumcised men prefer it rough

The study has received international attention. Politicians from California, for example, have been in contact with the researchers because they want to ban circumcision in their federal state. (Photo: Colourbox)There appears to be a very simple reason why circumcised men and their partners are having problems with their sex lives.

The circumcised man develops a thin layer of hard skin on his penis head, which decreases the sensitivity. This means that in order to reach an orgasm, he needs to work harder at it, and that can lead to a painful experience for the woman.

It's been a while since I took a statistics or an experimental design class, but whenever I read a study I wonder above what other factors may be influencing the scientists' reading of the data. The article delved into that issue.

Sources of error were filtered out

A vast majority of the circumcised men in the study were circumcised based on a doctor's estimate.

“Only five percent of all Danish men are circumcised, yet we have statistically valid evidence that male circumcision can be associated with sexual problems.

The study did not involve many religiously circumcised men – Jews and Muslims, for example. But even with these factors taken into account, the data pointed in the same direction. The statistical analyses also took a long list of additional relevant factors into account, including:

Age

Cultural background

Religious background

Marital status

Levels of education

Household income

Age at first intercourse

Number of sex partners

Frequency of sexual activity with one partner in the past year

“We adjusted for all these factors in an attempt to ensure that circumcision is the actual cause, and that the link isn’t attributable to other factors.”

Of course the study's findings need to be replicated, but there is a controversy brewing.

“This is a highly sensitive issue, and some people oppose the publication of this kind of research. Some people have actually tried to stop the publication of our article,” he explains.

One of the reasons why there is resistance to these kind of studies is that there have been some unsubstantiated evidence that circumcision may lower the risk of getting infected with HIV. Here is PZ Meyers writing on the matter.

Now Salon has followed up with an article that suggests that circumcision may actually have some health benefits. I am not impressed. They cite a couple of incomplete epidemiological studies in African populations for HIV infection, and they come up with some astounding figures: a 50-60% reduction in infection rates. Wow, with that kind of advantage…sign me up.

However, these are deeply flawed studies. None of them were completed: they all abandoned the protocol and stopped the research as soon as preliminary results gave them positive values. This is like shooting craps and announcing that all your dice throws were practice…until you get a good roll, and then, yeah, that was the real deal. That one counts.

They all overstate their results. That 50-60% reduction was in relative rate, in comparison across the two groups. The actual calculated protection in absolute terms conferred by circumcision was a 2% reduction in the likelihood of infection. That doesn't dazzle me, either, and given that the studies were terminated when they got their best results, I'm not persuaded.

LiP

My Anti-Christmas Jihad Part One: My Letter To Santa AND His Response!

2011-11-17T12:06:00.000-08:00

Santa: The Fifth Column of
Godlessness.

I've decided to start my jihad against Christmas early this year. And to initiate the first salvo of godlessness in this holiday season I have sent an email to an atheist's best friend: Santa Claus. I know, I know, many atheists dislike Santa because He represents crass American materialism. To quote Tyler Durden's analysis of the American psyche: We work jobs we hate to buy sh*t we don't need. Of course, Fight Club was released well before the Great Recession and now it turns out that only the lucky ones work jobs they hate just to get by. Or many atheist/skeptical parents don't support Santa because they don't want to lie to their kids about the reality about that jolly, morbidly obese fictional character. I want to say on the record that Santa is one of the greatest atheist allies, and I wrote him an email celebrating the North Pole/Godlessness Alliance.

Here it is.

Dear Santa,

I am writing you today to say thank you. This email is getting sent right now because I am well aware that you are entering your busy time of year, and that, thanks to Target, Walmart, etc., Santa Inc. gets busier and busier earlier and earlier. I want to make this clear: I am not writing you in thanks for any present you have given me or my children in the past or in the future. Rather, I just wanted to say Good job in secularising Christmas!

If it wasn't for your building up the Santa-industrial complex over the years Christmas would be just another lame holiday like Easter. Christians would then be mucking about talking about Jesus and making the rest of us miserable. Boo! Thanks to your organization Christians are relegated to obsessing like the rest of us on what Kardashian inspired product/brand to waste our money on.

Thanks again,

LiP

PS - Keep up with making those LED lights! I dream of a world where my kids won't have to go to war because the oil/gas/coal reserves were wasted on Christmas lights.

*You too can send Santa an email by clicking here! It is a form letter, but has a place for comments (that's where I placed my message). There is a section to ask Santa for certain presents. I asked for: respect of the Establishment Clause, an Enlightenment for Muslim countries (fingers crossed!), and Alyson Hannigan (well, it is a wish list).

OK, I just sent the email and got a reply from St. Nick! Here is His response.

Thank you for sending me your email all the way from Whitman! I sure do love the Internet because now I never feel lonely all the way up at the North Pole. An email from you, Andy, really makes my day!

Sugar plums and sleigh bells, Andy! Are you pulling my leg?!? You can't possibly be 43 years old already! Why it seems like only yesterday that I was leaving presents for a certain little boy and here you are now, practically one of Santa's elves! (*grin*)

Sorry the presents the last little while probably haven't been quite as exciting as they were when you were a little boy but, well, you know how these things go (*wink*). Anyway, Santa's glad to see some of the 'older kids' (not to mention anyone in particular!) still take the time to write. (And hopefully still leave out milk and cookies Christmas Eve too! *wink*) I also hear you've been a sorta good boy. (Of course, you won't mind if I do a little checking, will you? HO!! Ho!! ho!!).

I must tell you that Mrs. Claus is very impressed with your manners. How nice of you to say Thank you in your letter! You are most welcome.

Andy, I'm also very glad that you mentioned Jesus in your letter to me. After all, Jesus' birthday is a time for us all to be thankful that he was the best Christmas gift of all!

Let's see what you put in your letter for Christmas wishes: 1. respect for the establishment clause; 2. an enlightenment for muslim countries and; 3. alyson hannigan. HO!! Ho!! ho!! Those ARE good presents Andy! We've been so very busy this year that I hope you won't be too upset with me if you don't get everything you want for Christmas.

Mrs. Claus says I should tell you about my "Santa Tweets". You can watch as everyone at the North Pole texts and twitters to each other. It's twitter tweets about Christmas treats!

Yum! Smells like Mrs. Claus just pulled another batch of cookies out of the oven. HO!! Ho!! ho!! I'll bet she needs help eating them! Take care Andy and don't forget to come back and visit me here at EmailSanta.com on Christmas Eve!! And remember... only 38 more sleeps until Christmas!!

BFF (Best Friends Forever :),

Santa Claus

Jesus hopping Christ, I amuse myself endlessly...

in Purgatory.

Herman Cain To Fight Accuser!

2011-11-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

* I posted this on Newest Newsy News, but thought I'd share it here, too.

Des Moines, Iowa - In a new attempt to quash the accusations of sexual harassment against Republican Presidential hopeful Herman Cain, the Cain team has announced that the candidate and supposed victim Karen Kraushaar will meet in one-to-one combat. Daryl Misogyny, a spokesperson from the campaign, had this to say about this sudden shift in strategy on dealing with the scandal, Trial by combat a tradition that goes back centuries. To put it simply: The two parties in question walk onto the field of honor and the innocent survives and the guilty is slain. There may be some parties out there who view man versus woman combat to favor the man. However, our team has researched a classic Christian text on medieval combat from Hans Talhoffer.

Mr Misogyny produced this picture from the Talhoffer book .

As you can see the man has been placed in a pit, thereby evening the playing field between the sexes. There are some Republicans who say that putting Mr Cain in a pit during combat is pandering to feminazis, but we believe we are following traditional values.Mr. Cain has been losing support amongst Republican women due to the scandal, but there are murmurs that the judicial combat option will not win him any friends. An undisclosed source from the Romney campaign states that the stunt is immoral, idiotic and barbaric. Upon hearing this charge Mr. Misogyny had this to say, What does Mitt Romney know about morality? The man isn't even a Christian!

The Cain campaign then released a video using actors to simulate what the combat will look like.

Pat Robertson announced that he supports the trial by combat 110%. After looking at the above video he lauded the use of the Christian cross on the fighters' uniforms as well as the man's club. Mr Robertson also stated that we could all learn something from the way the two sides are resolving this issue by letting go, and letting Jesus take the wheel.

*This story is 100% fake.

Secret Verse Of The Bible Newly Revealed!

2011-11-15T14:16:00.000-08:00

Scholarship regarding the Bible is constantly evolving. Newly unearthed documents in the Holy Land reveal what had been lost verses, chapters and even entire books from the New as well as Old Testaments. Here is one of the passages recovered.

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals... And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it. Book of Python 6: 1-5

LiP

Penn State Riots And Nose Picking Mashup

2011-11-14T08:17:00.000-08:00

I have a Monday morning mashup for you all: the Penn State student riots and 9 year old boys fascination with their noses.

The Nose Issue.

Fingers not allowed.

I'll start off with the latter point. The Wife was away and visiting her brother. Under normal circumstances her jaunting off for a few days really doesn't effect my weekend plans too much. If anything it means I get to do less yard yard work and spend more time goofing around with the kids (Ali, 6, and Will, 9). However, her visit occurred at a most unfortunate weekend for me. You see, one of her friend's children was having a birthday party. Our household was treaty bound to send a delegation to the event along with a decent present. That meant I had to bring our two junior gene machines (nerd talk for kids) and hopefully not cause too much trouble. What was worse that my old friend, Al C. Ohol, was banned from the party. A dry party meant a far less entertained Andy.

We got to the party and I unleashed my children onto their house. I quickly found some caffeine (a poor substitute for beer) and started talking to people. The high point for me was when I found a mom who had just started getting into the Walking Dead (a current fave of mine on Sunday nights at 10pm on AMC). Seeing that she was new to the show (not many women are into the zombie apocalypse) we got into talking about the different characters and back story. Then it was time for cake and ice cream.

As a father I understand that much deviltry can go on during cake and ice cream, so I ambled into the appropriate room. There my first born was doing the family proud by inserting his index finger into his nose. He wasn't doing deep exploration mind you, but there was no mistaking what was going on.

"Will, cut it out now." I used the Voice (those of you who are Dune fans understand what I mean from that reference). It was the command voice. When using the command voice I drop my normal speaking tone down an octave and increase the volume. However, that is not to say that I yell. (The only time I yell while using the Voice is during an emergency.) The intent, of course, is that the recipient stop doing whatever idiotic/ I'm just not thinking activity they are engaging in. I am happy to say that Will immediately knew what he was doing and that finger dropped out of his nose stat.

One of the moms turned to another and said, "I wish I could do that."

(As a side note I know that competency using the command voice is not gender specific. The Wife can throw heat when necessary.)

Penn State Redux

I'm sure that there are more people in America who are aware that Penn State's newly fired football coach, Joe Paterno, is involved in a child sex abuse scandal than the number of Americans who accept evolutionary theory (remember, it's just a theory!). I'm also sure that more people are aware that Penn State students rioted because of Joe Paterno's firing than the number of people who understand what the process of natural selection actually is.

I was reading an article in Scientific American that attempted to explain the rationale of students' irrational behavior.

According to psychological theory, every person has a social identity, which depends on being a member of various groups. “The social groups you belong to become a part of the very essence of who you feel you are,” explains psychologist Adam Galinsky, a professor at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University. These groups can include our families and circles of friends; the clubs, churches and schools we attend; our race, ethnicity and nationality; and the list goes on. The more strongly we identify with a particular group, the more vehemently we defend its members and ideals—a trait that experts think evolved along with early human society. Banding together and protecting one another allowed our ancestors to survive, and so to this day we are quick to cheer on our comrades and feel animosity toward rival groups. Many scientists think this in-group psychology explains prejudice, racism and even sports fandom.

(*insert snarky/obvious joke about the Nurmeberg rallies and Penn State)

Most of the Penn State students who rioted Wednesday night have social identities that are built around a lifelong allegiance to the school. If you attend Penn State, Galinsky explains, “Penn State is you, it’s part of you, it’s such an important thing.” And nothing symbolizes Penn State more than Joe Paterno, head football coach for 46 years. Many of these distraught young adults chose to attend the university because of their love for the Paterno’s team—not the other way around. And they rioted because “the person that symbolized the school they go to, that’s given the school stature, that’s made their own selves have meaning and purpose, has now been taken away from them in an aggressive and sullied way,” Galinsky explains.

Why I'm hoping that my adult children never do anything so insensitive and stupid.

I think there are simple ways to inoculate children against the evil instinctual drives of our primitive past. That they won't conflate their sense of self with a sports team, club, or church of any kind. And even if Ali and/or Will did fall into that cognitive trap, then their years of living in a skeptical household and years of learning self restraint by taking martial arts will prevent them from acting like complete and total boobs.

And if that doesn't work...

when all other safeguards have been breached...

and the firewalls of rationality have been compromised...

they hear the Voice telling them,

Cut it out now!

This is Purgatory.

Another Cultist Talks Trash About Another Cult

2011-11-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

I found this on Think Progress. The name of the video says it all: On Veterans Day, State Rep. Womick (R-TN) calls for purging military of Muslim Americans. The first video is a quick 29 second bit from the longer 4 minute piece beneath it.

I am not a fan of Islam, that should be fairly clear to my regular readers. However, I should mention that as part of my mandatory I Dislike All Cults policy I'll say I'm not fond of Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, Mormonism, Unitarian Universalistm, Zoroastrianism, etc.

LiP

No, Virginia, You Can't Be An Atheist And A Member Of The Unitarian Universalist Church In Good Faith

2011-11-11T06:32:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for the pun in the title of this post.

It has come to my attention that I haven't properly satirized the faith-based organization known as the Unitarian Universalist Church or the Church of "Ya Gotta Believe in Something!"

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

You don't need to believe in any non-sense (an old joke from a philosophy professor of mine back in the day) to do well and lead an enjoyable and fruitful life.

I've been to two or three Unitarian Universalist Church services in the past and didn't like what I saw. There was still plenty mumbo-jumbo that one would find in any church, and there was still the sickening sound of people drinking the cool-aid of "Gosh religion is okey-dokey". At no point was there any critical discussion on the limitations and hazards of the faith instinct/drive or critical analysis of so-called holy texts. Worse of all there was an atmosphere where all ideas, regardless of how ludicrous they are were respected. To put it plainly: I do not respect faith-based ideas on the basis that ALL faith-based ideas are worthy of respect. That is the logic of the insane. I am polite to people. I hold doors for the elderly and at times women. When I have taken the bus I have given my seat to someone who obviously needed it more that me. However, when someone says something like "2+2=5" or "Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism and Islam are all legitimate roads to the divine," I call those statements what they are: total bullsh*t. (I typically use more gentle terms in public, but the meaning is still evident.)

What has gotten me into this spasm of godlessness?

I have read parts one and two of a series by Daylight Atheism titled Can an Atheist Be a Unitarian Universalist? I suggest reading both of the pieces. If you are an atheist and attending UU services those posts will help you understand that you are riding in the back of the theist bus, so to speak.

In The News This Week

2011-11-11T03:22:00.000-08:00

Republican candidates "debated" once again..

Jesus Daily on Facebook now has 10,000,000 fans.

Penn State students marched in support of child abuse.

On Wednesday we celebrated Carl Sagan's life.

I thought we should end up on a more positive note.

LiP

Non-Christian Cabal Discovered Supporting Mitt Romney's Candidacy

2011-11-09T09:15:00.000-08:00

NEWS FLASH - Purgatory News has discovered a nationwide conspiracy to elect the US's first non-Christian president: Mitt Romney. Members of the organization known as N.A.C. (Non-Christians Against Christocrats) have been secretly supporting Mr. Romney's candidacy while undermining other Republican hopefuls. A whistle blower from within the organization brought high level strategy notes to this reporter. Here are some of NAC's activities so far and what the nefarious group is planning in the future.

Make Rick Perry look like an idiot. The problem with this, the documents relate, is to make Mr Perry look idiotic to the Christian Right. The bar for idiocy amongst this demographic is exceptionally low. Refuting evolution, denying any climate change or declaring that God's will is the classic "invisible hand of the market' is par for the course. Rather, NAC worked tirelessly to scramble the candidate's area of the brain responsible for syntax by smuggling in hair jell made from habanero chilies found in the darkest jungles of Central America. Anyone watching the debates understand that this operation has been a smashing success.
Make Herman Cain appear like Bill Clinton. Republican primary voters hate the most successful president of recent times: Bill Clinton. Whether it was the unacceptable economic prosperity or relative peace of the Clinton years, the Right in America can't stand him. NAC's plan of revealing supposed victims of Mr Cain's libido has struck a chord amongst the Jesus loving base of the Republican Party.

Future plans by NAC include:

Reminding the electorate what kind of douche bag Newt Gingrich is. NAC is planning to utilize Newt's nemesis, facts, in a smear campaign. Though the story is over thirty years old NAC plans to bring up how Newt handled the divorce with first wife, Jackie.

“He can say that we had been talking about [a divorce] for 10 years, but the truth is that it came as a complete surprise,” says Jackie Gingrich, in a telephone interview from Carrollton. “He’s a great wordsmith … He walked out in the spring of 1980 and I returned to Georgia. By September, I went into the hospital for my third surgery [cancer surgery]. The two girls came to see me, and said Daddy is downstairs and could he come up? When he got there, he wanted to discuss the terms of the divorce while I was recovering from the surgery … To say I gave up a lot for the marriage is the understatement of the year.”

James Bond vs Religion

2011-11-08T07:56:00.000-08:00

Bond's PPK 7.65mm

Bond, James Bond.

James Bond, the British secret agent has been fighting evil in print and movies for over 55 years (Casino Royale being the first Bond book published in 1953). I assert, and plan to prove in this post, that Mr Bond should face off against the world's "great" faiths in a series a movies. He would be right at home fighting for Enlightenment values (liberté, égalité, fraternité and promiscuity) against the forces of darkness (faith).

And so here are my Four Reasons Why James Bond Would Feel Right At Home Fighting The World Religions.

World religions are run by idiosyncratic super villains. Two of my favorite baddies from the series are Dr No and Gold Finger (yeah, I'm old school). Dr No had that weird hand thing going on and what about the morbidly obese Goldfinger and his fixation on that precious metal? Take a look at the real world baddies...

An extreme case of

a super villain's love

for the proper wardrobe.

Osama, however, adopted a plain look but focused
more on 72 virgins and a proper beard.
However, neither beard nor Allah offered
protection against bullets.

James Bond's enemies in the movies like SMERSH (actually a real Soviet spy agency that Bond author Fleming used) and SPECTRE (SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion) run diabolical schemes to accomplish their goals. I'm sorry, but this point is the easiest to prove.

Exhibit A

The Pentagon on 9-11.

Exhibit B

Joshua and his band of lunatics about to commit genocide
in ancient Canaan

Exhibit C

Christian militants using music as mind control.

The femme fatale. Any James Bond movie must have a villainous organization that uses women in their web of evil.

This is right out of a James Bond movie or the Syfy channel.

Nuns working hard to support their penis wielding
evil superiors.

Extreme methods are used as punishment. We all know this scene in the movie: An evil lackey reports to the super villain that something has gone wrong with the organization's machinations. Bad things are going to happen to that underling.

This is from the hadith (sayings from the Prophet)

Sahih Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 23: Funerals, Number 413: Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar: The Jew brought to the Prophet a man and a woman from amongst them who have committed (adultery) illegal sexual intercourse. He ordered both of them to be stoned (to death), near the place of offering the funeral prayers beside the mosque."

Of course, the ancient Jews loooooved a good stoning, too.

Then Joshua, together with all Israel, took Achan son of Zerah, the silver, the robe, the gold bar, his sons and daughters, his cattle, donkeys and sheep, his tent and all that he had, to the Valley of Achor. Joshua said, “Why have you brought this trouble on us? The LORD will bring trouble on you today.”

Then all Israel stoned him, and after they had stoned the rest, they burned them. Over Achan they heaped up a large pile of rocks, which remains to this day. - Joshua 7: 24-27

LiP

Alternative Atheist Billboards

2011-11-05T10:53:00.000-07:00

Atheist billboards should
have a monkey on them, too.
Who hates monkeys?

I'm sure many of you have heard about or have seen the variety of atheist billboards that have been put up around the country. Their messages include: You can be good without God; You know it's a myth. This season celebrate reason; and of course the atheist billboard that misquotes Thomas Jefferson : I do not find in Christianity one redeeming feature. It is founded on fables and mythology.

Don't get me wrong, those are nifty billboards (well, maybe not the Jefferson one), but I propose that we as an atheist community want people who are not really religious or on the fence about faith to identify as being part of our tribe. The aforementioned secular advertisements don't really communicate what many Americans have do deal with on a normal basis.

You may be surprised, dear reader, but I have a few humble suggestions based partly on the ...and I'm a Mormon ads. As a quick review the pro-Mormon ads have people doing productive, up-with-life activities with that culty smile plastered on their faces with the tag line ... and I'm a Mormon at the very end. Of course my suggestions are a wee less delusionally happy. The billboard would have any of the following statements...

The gas valve just broke on my furnace. It's costing me $939.00... and I'm an atheist. (See, the beauty here is that the gas valve did just break on my furnace and it did cost me $939.00)

I just raked up 41 bags of leaves and brought them in carloads of 4 to the town dump -- soon I'll be halfway done... and I'm an atheist. (Another sad but true story.)

I haven't looked at my children's college fund statements for the last several quarters because I'm afraid of what I'll see... and I'm an atheist. (Also true)

My 2007 Corolla sounds like it just ate a cat... and I'm an atheist. (I do drive a 2007 Corolla, but thankfully it is running fine.)

My dog's snoring is keeping me awake at night... and I'm an atheist.

I never order tuna salad in a restaurant, because I've been consistently disappointed by the quality... and I'm an atheist.

The Pittsburgh Steelers defense stopped the Patriots last week... and I'm an atheist.

I think my kids are going to grow up in an America that resembles a banana republic... and I'm an atheist.

Those are my suggestions...

in Purgatory.

Fire Members Of The Congressional Prayer Caucus

2011-11-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

I propose firing the members of the Congressional Prayer Caucus.
Why?

The same reason why Hertz fired 26 Muslim employees: If you want to engage in religious activities, then don't do it while you are on the clock. An employer shouldn't have to pay their employees to pray to a fictitious divine friend. Of course, if you have a paid break and want to pray, scratch lottery tickets, or any other useless activity go right ahead.

I am sure that there are many so-called small government conservatives who agree with Hertz that Islam should not subsidized by God inspired US capitalism while a proposed vote in the House of Representatives to re-affirm In God We Trust as the US's national motto is a jolly good idea.

Nobody has proposed changing the national motto, but the House is set Tuesday to vote on a bill that assure that the phrase “In God We Trust” stays put.

The measure, which is sponsored by Rep. Randy Forbes (R-Va.), would encourage public buildings, schools and government facilities to display the phrase. It declares that “In God We Trust” and sentiments behind it have been an “integral” part of the United States, and “in times of national challenge or tragedy, the people of the United States have turned to God as their source for sustenance, protection, wisdom, strength, and direction.”

Regardless of the sentiments behind the saying the US has been able to accomplish many, many things before 1956 when the unconstitutional motto was adopted: the Revolutionary War, writing of our secular constitution, the Civil War (otherwise known as the failed War for Slavery), World War I and its fraternal twin World War II.

Somehow the nation was able to accomplish all those things without high-fiving the Sky Fairy.

Even though there are 64 members who support the bill there are a handful of Democrats (where the hell is Ron Paul, the one time Libertarian Presidential candidate and so-called champion of small government?) who are publicly resisting the bill.

But other Democrats have made their complaints known. In a committee report, five House Democrats – Reps. John Conyers (Mich.), Jerrold Nadler (N.Y.), Bobby Scott (Va.), Melvin Watt (N.C.) and Judy Chu (Calif.) – said Forbes’s bill “creates unnecessary and excessive government entanglement with religion.”

“We must remember that the United States is comprised of people of many faiths, as well as those who do not hold any religious beliefs, as is their right,” they wrote. “The passage of this resolution would, as Justice [Sandra Day] O’Connor warned, send a message to the American people that our government favors religion, and specifically one type of religion over another, in violation of the endorsement test.”

As a tax payer of this republic I say if there are members of congress (ahem, my/our employees) who wish to engage in praying or pimping the God that they ritually cannibalize I have no problem with it.

Just do it on your own time.

Don't do it at work.

This is Purgatory.

God Still Thinks Women Are Dirty.

2011-10-31T05:37:00.000-07:00

Found this on Ex Fundamentalist.

This answers the ancient question of whether a woman who is menstruating should read the Islamic Sky Fairy book.

What Would An Atheist Haunted House Look Like?

2011-10-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

It would certainly have this guy in it.

Absolutely Darth Pedophilus

And of course this emissary from the religion of peace.

Don't worry, monsters aren't real.

Kinda.

Sorta.

LiP