Sunday, October 20, 2013

Five Rooms in this Atheist's Hell House 2013

The Oprah Winfrey Room

Atheists entering this area will be greeted by Oprah's sage words of wisdom that If you believe in awe then I don't call you an atheist. Oprah approved medical professional, Doctor Oz, will pop out of the shadows to inflict all sorts of bogus medical treatment on naive visitors. Those who survive these horrors must leave through a door in Oprah's gaping mouth.

The Pastor John Hagee Room

Pagan-atheists wander through the dark labyrinth of Pastor John Hagee's mind. Although the maze isn't that big, the corridors in it are very, very narrow. In it you will see the noble Boy Scouts of America being beaten into submission by the gay lobby. The godless will gasp when the god of Multiculturalism runs wild on the nation's airwaves/cables with shows like Sesame Street. Weep to how the god of Secular Humanism devours lives via divorce, drugs, and rape.

And, yes, there is fried chicken, also.

H/T tip to vjack

The Justice Scalia and the Devil Room

Visitors will see the world as Supreme Justice Scalia sees it and tremble with fear. Witness the Devil tricking the multitudes that he and God are mere figments of deluded Iron Age thinking. Witness how insidious the Evil One is by using peer reviewed journals to discount fabricated histories found in the Old and New Testaments. Witness Satan using the Socratic method to poison the minds of our youth.

The horror...

OK, this gag could have gone
wrong fairly quickly.
The Secularism is the New Terrorism Room

It sounds to me as though secularism could be the new terrorism. - Father Aethelwine Richards of the Antiochian Orthodox Archdiocese of Europe
This room features a world of secularism gone mad. Gaybors living serenely in gayborhoods and mixing happily with straights. Pious adherents are shackled by tyrannical, secular laws that prevents them persecuting apostates, uppity women, and those who blaspheme. And worst of all, the faithful are prevented from attacking the faithful of different faiths.

The Chris Christie Jesus doesn't want my gay kid to get married Room

Onlookers in this chamber will see Chris Christie, Governor of New Jersey, listen to one of his children tearfully come out as a homosexual only to hear his father tell him that gays do not have a constitutionally protected right to get married in the United States of America. Governor Christie will continue to show Christ's love by playing out the prodigal son's parable with a dramatic twist: throwing out his gay kid until the lad returns fixed.

1 comment:

  1. :: waits at the Hell House entrance with money in hand ::

    I love it! When does it open? :D


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