|Cassandra, busy cleaning up after God.|
Groundskeeper Cassandra Anthony of the Chicago-based Moody Bible Institute is nonplussed about her employer's newest rule allowing their workers to drink alcohol. "Can't you see I'm busy cleaning up after an act of God?" she stated when initially asked her opinion. "This is a broken world, and this girl is here to clean up this corner of it."
Ms. Anthony's co-workers at the evangelical college, however, are quite excited about taking their first sip of beer or wine. 54 year old Agnes Hall, a cafeteria worker,is practically brimming with anticipation. "I've been working here since I was 16 years old, and never had a drink because I was afraid of losing my job. But I knew things were changing when the school allowed us girls to have nose stud earrings," she said while showing off her nasal bling.
While the school has relaxed its rules for workers, the Bible-based requirements for students have stayed strong.
Abstinence from the use of tobacco, alcohol, illegal drugs and sexual promiscuity for at least one year prior to enrollment is also required. In addition, candidates must be an active participant in a Protestant church and participate in regular worship attendance and church ministry opportunities. Moody School admissions pg 30And lest not a student who had broken the bond that God had super glued together enter Moody's hallowed halls,
Persons who have been divorced, married to a spouse previously divorced, or currentlyWhile the shift has created controversy among evangelicals, groundskeeper Cassandra is keeping her head above the fray. "I do my 60 hour work week and then go home to submit to my husband and provide a nurturing environment for the 6 kids Jesus has seen fit to bless us with. If I were to pause and discuss every biblical contradiction or faith-based rationalization during my workday nothing would get done. Lillies of the field aside, I do have to worry about keeping a roof over our heads and putting food on the table."
separated will be considered for admission on a case-by-case basis. Please carefully follow the
instructions provided on the application regarding this additional information needed by the
Admissions Committee. - Moody School admissions pg 32
*This is a fictionalized (and dare I say comical? I darest) reporting of the Moody Institute's change in policy. You can read the non-funny (though sort of sad) story here.