Friday, April 26, 2013

House Republicans Offer a Christ-Centered Version of the Naturalization Oath




Washington DC In the wake of recent terrorist attacks, the Republicans in the House of Representatives have passed the America for Americans Naturalization Act. If passed into law the Naturalization Oath of Allegiance to the United States of America will be altered to meet the changing realities of life in the US.
Real reform is coming at a time when real danger faces our country. - Representative Elbridge Gerrymander (R South Dakota)
Currently, immigrants who wish to be citizens of the US must swear the Oath which has not been changed since 1952.
I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform :noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.
The proposed  new and improved Oath will sum up and state what it really means to be an American in the early 21st century.
I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, sovereignty, or Mohameddian  prophet of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject, adherent, or citizen; that I will support and defend parts of the Constitution that the most uneducated section of the American population care about against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear truly divine faith and allegiance to Jesus; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States and the New International Version of the Bible when required by the law; that I will perform work of faith-based initiatives when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me Jesus. 
"The new version is far simpler because it strips away most of the Bill of Rights as well as a vast majority of the rest of the Constitution," stated Representative Gerrymander.  "Only forty-one percent of Americans can name the three branches of government. Why do we expect new citizens to know so much when all they need to understand is that they have a right to own an assault rifle and attend any Baptist church they want to?"

Senator Mitch McConnell (R - Kentucky) has voiced concerns that the proposed law does not go far enough. "What we need is some sort of way to make sure that the new citizens keep their oath," he explained. "What we need is is an institution, say an inquisitive institution, to make sure Arabs don't backslide to their devilish ways. By Jove, that's what we'll call it -- The Inquisition for un-American Activities."

The Senate is to start debating the bill next week.



2 comments:

  1. Guess they couldn't let this opportunity go to waste!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol, ...missed it on the first pass. Well done.

    ReplyDelete

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