Monday, March 11, 2013

Seven Ways Fundamentalists will Practice Civil Disobedience

Fundamentalists seem to have two gears in their crazy car of faith: prepping for the Rapture and making the rest of us miserable. This post is about how they are preparing to make us all miserable because of, of course, gay marriage and Obamacare.




But let's think for a moment on how the fundamentalists are going to practice civil disobedience. What is their strategy? What are their tactics?

I humbly offer you Seven Ways That Christian Fundamentalists will Practice Civil Disobedience.



1. Chik-fil-A for everyone! What says civil disobedience more than supporting your local local franchise of hate and deep fried goodness?



2. Writing rambling letters to the editor to their local newspapers. We've all seen these. They start out "DEER EDDITOR" and go about butchering the English language for about 500 words or so. Other highlights include: limited/improper punctuation, no rhyme and certainly no reason exhibited by the writer, a few threats veiled in the rhetoric of Jesus's love, and the sign off of wishing the reader "All of Gods' Luv."

3. Leading idiots will get to go on camera.




4. Sit-ins at Wikipedia. Fundamentalists still haven;t figured out where the local Wikipedia factory is, but they do know they don't like the free exchange of information.



5. Damn what the Bible says, fundamentalists won't pay their taxes. Just forget all that Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's stuff.


6. Horrible songs will be written. Horrible songs will be sung.
I'm sorry, but this song haunts my darkest nightmares, so I had to share it once again.




7. The mentally ill will be given the opportunity to lecture us all. This is self-explanatory.

NO meds = God's grace

1 comment:

  1. Haha I think my favorite is the one about sit-ins... LOL!

    Nice post :)

    ReplyDelete

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