Neil deGrasse Tyson Unveils NASA's New Scratch Ticket

Neil deDegrasse Tyson  offers
 up a design for the new NASA  scratch ticket.

Kennedy Space Center As budget cuts loom on the horizon, NASA is taking its fate into its own hands with the first ever scratch ticket  Life on Mars.

Neil drGrasse Tyson, astrophysicist and Frederick P Rose Director of the Hayden Planetarium, was instrumental in the creation of this national scratch ticket that will funnel millions of dollars into America's space program. "Life on Mars is a two dollar ticket where your goal is to find as many space aliens as possible," stated Dr Tyson. "On the back of the ticket is a short explanation that any life on Mars that we find will be microbial. We don't want to give the public the impression that there are any little green men running around."

NASA was founded in President Dwight D Eisenhower's administration in 1958. Its budget rose up to 4.4% of the federal budget in 1968, only to drop precipitously. America's budget for NASA's mission to "pioneer the future in space exploration, scientific discovery and aeronautics research," is currently languishing at .5% of the federal budget.

If Life on Mars is successful, then NASA has other unorthodox ideas of obtaining revenue. "We're very excited about exploring space as well as exploring high value space-related products," said NASA administrator, Andrew Kannard. "We have studied how the Russian space agency has been able to garner millions of rubles from alcoholics in their country."

NASA not only has its eyes on the scratch ticket and vodka markets, but there are rumors that the agency will create a chain of local pay-day loan/check cashing/pawn shops called NASA's Faustian Bargains!




*Yes, Life on Mars was a real scratch ticket for the state of Washington.