|I think the KFC joke is going into my stand-up act.|
In the latest Left Hemispheres Podcast episode I talk about putting three hundred dollars on the line as a way to force myself to lose weight. And yes, if I don't lose the weight that money will be going to a hate group, a hate group that I personally hate.
I'm six feet tall and currently weigh 210lbs, which puts my BMI (Body Mass Index) at 28.5. To officially obese I'd have to rock the scale at 230 lbs. I've seen me at 230 lbs before and it isn't pretty, my friends. I've been an unattractive thin person and an unattractive fat person, and I've found the former to be far more preferable than the latter.
I suggest that you listen to the entire podcast, of course, but to find out more about my deal with the Devil check out my section which begins at the 29 minute 45 second mark. I'll be throwing up (no, not that way) a few videos on my weight loss progress in the following weeks, and talking about how much I dislike the ant-charity that my money may be going to. Perhaps I'll spin a few jokes while I'm at it, since the road between suffering and comedy is so well travelled.
You may say that it's morally wrong for me to put at risk that money going to the Dark Side. That I should have picked a kinder gentler way to motivate myself. I'd like to point out that I've tried being nice with me, and do you know what I've found? I treat visiting unfamiliar KFC's like some people enjoy visiting museums. (Oh, they place the extra crispy on the left instead of the right, interesting.) You have to bring out the heavy weapons against such a fixation on deep fat frying. Much like Alexander the Great, who burned his own boats upon crossing the Bosphorous and told his men, "We go home in Persian ships, or we die," I will lose the weight or suffer ignominious defeat that only the internet can provide.
Why would I do such a thing?
Because this is Purgatory.