Sunday, September 30, 2012

New Poll: Have You Ever Been Threatened Because You Are An Atheist?

I live in a suburb of Boston, MA. It's not a red state by any means, and I walk around with my Friendly Neighborhood Atheist button I got from the Reason Rally without any problems. Sure, I occasionally get a dirty look, but no one has gotten in my face over the public display of godlessness (PDG).

I understand that many places (most?) do not have such a tolerant attitude towards atheists. Have you ever been threatened because you're one? Were you online when it happened or was it in the "real" world?

The poll is in the upper left column and feel free to place your comments below.



Saturday, September 29, 2012

Mitt Romney Is Not Surprised That Rural Whites Like Ahmadinejad To Obama

Mitt speaks from his heart.

Early this morning Mitt Romney called a press conference to announce that he is not surprised by the newest Gallup poll stating that rural whites prefer Iran's President Ahmadinejad to Obama.
I love America because America loved me first. Being born in America is just like being born with a silver spoon in your mouth. While my spoon was more like an enormous novelty utensil that you can only find at Harvard vs Yale games, everyone in America has a silver spoon -- even if it's one of those Barbie Dream House ones. 
The good folk who make up the heart of America, rural white people, have overwhelmingly told the world that President Obama is not one of us. They have spoken with one voice in a recent Gallup poll saying, "I like President Ahmadinejad of Iran better than Obama." The soul of our country has spoken -- Obama is not American. President Obama is the anti-Romney. He shepherds his flock so he can win elections and squeeze as much money out of those who have been born with the large novelty silver spoons in their mouths. He is the leader of the 47 percent.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Blasphemy Day International

Blasphemy Day International is coming up on September 30th. As many of you know this day celebrating free speech first started because of the Islamo-mad reaction to a bunch of comics.

As many nations in the Muslim world implode into a new era of chaos they are making demands on the rest of us. And this isn't surprising either. Just like viruses go about infecting healthy cells, virulent memes go about infecting and affecting healthy societies. This is their nature. It's like being in a romantic relationship with a crazy person (which I am sad to say I have extensive first hand knowledge of). The wacky one has a gravitational field of insanity that pulls you into a mind nullifying event horizon and into a singularity of anti-skepticism.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My Guest Post Over At Atheist Pig: Saudi Arabia Perfects Uterine Transplants in Men

I've written another post over at Atheist Pig. The title says it all, Saudi Arabia Perfects Uterine Transplants in Men. I came up with the idea as soon as the story broke that Swedish doctors were able to transplant a uterus into a woman.

I hope you enjoy the piece.


* No, there is no connection between Theist Chicken and Atheist Pig.
*Yes, that is my chicken.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Burning Cosmos

*I made a few more memes today, and thought I'd share them with you all.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Top Ten Ways How To Know Your God Is The Right God

One of the problems facing the modern citizen of the world is Which God is the right God? Back in primitive times we knew that God was the Sun. The benefits to worshipping a big ball of thermonuclear explosions was self evident to all (if not the nature of said big ball of thermonuclear explosions). 

Here are some simple ways to know if you are worshipping the right God.

10. Historical evidence Jesus took ancient Israel by storm! He raised the dead, fed the multitudes, and what about all those zombies that popped up after his death?
The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus’ resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people. Mathew 27:52-53
What? There are no Roman sources that talk about the holy undead stalking the streets of Jerusalem, and ministering to the citizenry? Have faith, brothers and sisters, it's only a matter of time before such a document is found.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Star Wars Help Solve The Republican Angry White Man Deficit

Pertersburg, Kentucky The Republican Party has an answer to the nation's shortage of angry white males, and that answer is cloning technology. Senator Lindsey Graham  highlighted this concern,  “The demographics race we’re losing badly. We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.” As the Presidential Election is drawing closer the lack of Caucasian males is creating a bit of a panic amongst the GOP. Newly revealed Republican documents show that operatives scoured lacrosse and hockey games in order to fill all the seats at the convention in Tampa. "The situation was getting extreme," stated Republican organizer, Phillip Chanard, "We were thinking that we would need to drug and abduct Canadians simply to fill the convention hall."

And then Professor Piltdown, head researcher of the creationist wishful think-tank Answers in Genesis, made the phone call that would change everything. He had the answer to the upcoming Republican demographic apocalypse.

Monday, September 17, 2012

What Do The Boy Scouts And The Catholic Church Have In Common? (Hint: They Both Suck)

What Do The Boy Scouts And The Catholic Church Have In Common?

Here are your options:

A) Disapproval of the gays.

B) Disapproval of atheists.

C) The systematic protection of child abusers.

D) The institution is supported by the spineless, the immoral, or the ignorant.

E) All of the above.

The answer is obviously E.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

My Guest Post At Atheist Pig: An Intelligent Design Reality Show

Purgatory + Pig = Good times

Every other week or so I'm going to be doing a post over at Atheist Pig. He likes my sense of humor, and I am always looking to spread my funny around. It's a match made in atheist heaven. Teaching the Controversy, an Intelligent Design makeover show begins this September, is my latest bit of mayhem over there. I got inspiration for the post the other day when I was watching TV and stumbled across The American Bible Challenge. I did remarkably well, and that got me to thinking about what other faith-based shows would exist if fundamentalists could get away with them.

I hope you enjoy the post.


Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Islamo-mad World, Movies, And Gay Porn

OK, here is a Youtube video of the movie that has inspired all the rioting in the Islamo-mad world. From looking at the 14 minute piece the film appears to be laughably bad. It's like Birth of a Nation had sex with a not funny Mel Brooks movie and this is their unholy child.

However, I not here to talk about the film's production values.

I'm here to talk about gay porn.

Joe. My. God. this morning wrote that one of the secondary actors has done gay porn.
After several JMG readers noticed that one of the actors in the infamous Innocence Of Muslims appeared to be the oddly tattooed and occasional gay porn star Tim Dax, I reached out to Dax for an interview, which he declined after confirming his role in the film. He did provide us with this statement via email:
i can tell you i auditioned for a movie called Desert Storm that was about Ancient Warriors. My character was called Sampson on the paper with a few lines I got each day upon arriving on set. We never saw a full script or any lines after the day we shot them. Many questions were asked regarding absurdity of lines and situations. Sam the producer who I believed to be, but not certain as Egyptian. His reply would always to work with what we were given as he wrote the script. The clip that I saw part of today for the first time is questionable as to being my voice. The voice over work is dubious at best. a week and a half of work, 75 bucks a day & lunch. ; ) Can't tell you anymore than that other than I'm am very much NOT anti muslim. one world one love. Tim.



Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Pakistan Reforms Blasphemy Laws -- Pokémon Fans Are Dismayed


Islamabad, Pakistan The Islamic Republic of Pakistan has announced a dramatic change in its infamous blasphemy laws. Pokémon, the trading card game that has spawned cartoons, comics, movies, and videogames, is now off limits to criticism.  

Section 295-C of the Pakistani legal code previously stated, ““Whoever by words, either spoken or written, or by visible representation or by any imputation, innuendo, or insinuation, directly or indirectly, defiles the sacred name of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) shall be punished with death, or imprisonment for life, and shall also be liable to fine.”

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Value Voters Summit Speakers Wish List

I was on Joe.My.God earlier this morning and saw that a variety of LGBT groups have asked Paul Ryan not to speak at the Value Voters Summit.

I took a look at the speakers and it's quite a group.

And that got me to thinking, What would be the Value Voters Summit wish list of speakers?

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Blasphemy In Pakistan

Here's a radical statement:
People who revere a man who married a young child should not be the go-to authority when it comes to running a country.
You would think that's common sense? However, in Muslim countries like Pakistan the lunatics are obviously running the asylum.
On August 16th she was arrested in her slum on the outskirts of the capital, Islamabad, and charged with blasphemy after a neighbour and a local cleric claimed that she had burned pages of the Koran. A 500-strong mob swiftly gathered outside her family’s one-room home, causing the whole Christian community of the area to flee in terror of reprisals.
The poor girl was held in solitary confinement in an adult facility until this little tidbit of information came to the surface.
Over the weekend one of her accusers, the local imam, was himself arrested and charged with blasphemy, after his deputy said that he had seen the imam tear up pages of the Koran in order to fabricate evidence against the girl. 
Rimsha's mistreatment by the authorities has brought up concerns in some quarters that the blasphemy law may, well, just be wrong.

But let's not forget that the faith-based loons in Pakistan do not tolerate different points of view on this topic.

In 2011 two of the PPP’s  [Pakistan Peoples Party -- the group in charge of the government] leaders were gunned down after criticising the law.



Friday, September 7, 2012

Yes, Virginia, Jesus Was A Jerk

I was browsing through the Huffington Post's religion section and found this piece Was Jesus a Jerk?  David Lose, the writer, explores Mark 7: 27-29. A woman, who happens to be a foreigner (Note: Some of her ancestors probably got slaughtered by the Jews in the Book of Joshua), asks Jesus to rid her daughter of a demon. Here is the discussion between the desperate woman and the Prince of Peace.
He said to her, "Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs." But she answered him, "Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children's crumbs." Then he said to her, "For saying that, you may go -- the demon has left your daughter" 
To wit, Jesus calls the woman a dog (Jews are the children), but the woman fully admits she is a dog and, hey, even dogs get something. Jesus loooooves this answer and decides to heal the kid.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Charlotte, North Carolina Is Under Siege From The Asian King Toad

These toads mean business.

Charlotte, North Carolina The situation has become dire in the southern city that is hosting the Democratic National Convention. Strange, and at times disturbing, occurrences plague the municipality. An infestation of the Asian King Toad has made normal business almost impossible within the city limits. The Toads litter the streets and can be found in homes and office buildings. The giant amphibians are native to south-east Asia, where they are food for many predators. However, the invasive species is top toad here in North Carolina. The mayor of Charlotte, Anthony Foxx, announced a state of emergency today.
The Asian King Toad is a real threat to the our fair city. I am asking every nonessential worker to stay home, and to toad-proof their residence. Please keep all doors and windows shut. Stay off the roads unless absolutely necessary. Allow the Anti-Toad Brigades (ATB) to do their work.
The ATB is a hastily created force of biologists, veterinarians and pet store employees whose job is to take back the city street by street, building by building. The Mayor's office report that fighting has been fierce, and the Asian King Toads are not giving up an inch of territory without a series of ferocious croaks and awfully spooky looks that have 'freaked out' members of the ATB.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Do You Want To Irritate Someone? Make A Joke.

This took me two seconds to think up and less than two minutes to make. As many of my fellow bloggers know a quick piece of commentary can garner much more interest than a carefully researched post.

I placed the meme on the Atheism page on Fb and got a gaggle of  responses.

Monday, September 3, 2012

New Poll: Do you tell people you're an atheist in public?

The Wife, Will and Ali (10 and 7 years old), and I were at a cookout yesterday afternoon. The event was being held by one of the families whose kids attend the same dojo (karate school) as ours. They were kind enough to invite everyone and so we schlepped over with a bucket of homemade chili and 7 wonderfully flavored pumpkin beers.

I was able to avoid talking about politics and religion for about twenty minutes. In my defense, I did not start the conversation. Rather, I was talking with an accountant about the tax code and, hey, that naturally lead to discussing the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism), Larping (live action role playing) and the upcoming Jewish holidays (he and his wife are Jewish) . My wife began complaining about the Christmas and not liking some of the Jesus music that the kids sing for the holiday concert.

That lead to the natural question from our new found friends,

"Are you Jewish?"

I want to point out that my wife is also an atheist, but she is not so public about it. She paused for a moment.

"We're atheists."

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