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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Chik-fil-A Proudly Supports The Aryan Nations' Olympics

Chik-fil-A, fast food giant and proud supporter of heterosexual marriage, has officially partnered with the Church of Jesus Christ-Christian (i.e. Aryan Nations) to produce a faith-based alternative to the Olympics. The games are planned in the woods of Louisiana in late August.

J.M. Saggs
"The Chik-fil-Aryan Games are a call to all white people who love their race and family friendly food," stated J.M, Saggs, organizer of the event. "What we are doing is offering a forum where Christian traditional families can enjoy traditional American/Christian sports: hillbilly handfishing, competitive noose tying, as well as the cross build and burn."

Work has been going on in the backwoods of Louisiana for quite some time. The stadium for the games has all ready been built, and locals love to visit for a chance to see the impressive building.



An exact replica of the
1936 Summer Olympic stadium.

Not everyone, however, is happy about the competition. Mitt Romney has been outspoken on his concerns about the Chik-fil-Aryan Games.
It's hard to know just how well [the 2012 Games] will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting. The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials, that obviously is not something which is encouraging." 
J.M. Saggs has written a letter to Mr. Romney stating that the Aryan Nation's private security service has everything under control, and that Chik-fil-A fry cooks will make sure that Muslims and Jews will not enter the Games'  perimeter.
Unfortunately it is too late to buy a seat because every event is sold out. A possible reason why the Games are going to be so popular is that families will be able to compete in one event: the Fit Families contest.
We have restarted the proud tradition of the Fit Families Competition that was quite popular in America prior to World War II. Families will be judged on a variety of desireable genetic traits. We are training judges by showing them winners from previous years. - J.M. Saggs
Mr Saggs volunteered some photographs of previous competitions.

Each state will have its own building
in the Chik-fil-Aryan Fitter Families Competition.


The winners of the 1926 small-family competition.






Monday, July 30, 2012

Couples Face Death In India For Marrying The "Wrong" Person



I was going to write a Poe about the Aryan Nations and Chik-fil-A today, but I found this post A hideaway for India's rebel couples on the BBC, and felt I had to share this. As many Purgatorians know, I've been writing about faith-based insanity on the subcontinent for a while, in part because Hinduism gets a free pass in the West, and in part because many Hindus love to overreact against any perceived slights to their multi-god absurdist religion.

Now, let's get on with the article.
The pale 19-year-old girl, Krishna, is sitting in a small room at a police barracks in northern Haryana state.

...When asked whether her family could really kill her husband, because she married outside her caste without permission, she hides her head in the folds of her long diaphanous scarf and nods.

"Yes, yes, they can."

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Amnesty International Uses Drones In Syria


Amnesty International's new fleet of drones
 Amnesty International (AI), the organization dedicated to nonviolence and advocating for human rights around the world, has secretly armed itself in the past few months. Rumors concerning the clandestine purchases of drone technology have been circulating for quite a while. But now the evidence is clear: AI has an active fleet of unmanned aerial vehicles armed with a variety of missiles designed to carry out various missions.

"To put it in simple everyday language, we at Amnesty International got tired of this crap," stated the Secretary General of AI, Dr Paul Nostrum. "The conflict in Syria really was the straw that broke the camel's back. That conflict has been raging for well over a year. And during that time AI has sent countless letters, emails, Facebook messages, and tweets to the Syrian regime to come to a settlement that will lead to a peaceful political transition. What did we get for our troubles? They blocked us on Fb and stopped following us on Twitter. That meant war -- and not a war of words either."

Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer Has Found The Antimatter Universe


Are antiparticles really anti-social?


The antimatter universe has been discovered, sowing chaos within the scientific and theological elites. The Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer or AMS has been connected to the International Space Station or ISS  in order to detect Antimatter Supercharged Stuff or ASS. The AMS has been collecting data for some time, and scientist C. Ann Ard announced the findings to an awaiting world early this morning.

After analyzing the data the research team can confidently say that we have found evidence of a vast antimatter universe far away from our own. The AMS has found ASS that could only be caused by such a universe.
C. Ann Ard went on to say that it was previously thought that when the universe came into being 13.7 billion years ago there were equal amounts of matter and antimatter. However, the antimatter has all but vanished. Many theories on what happened to the antimatter have been proposed, but with the new data the mystery is solved: antimatter migrated far away from positive matter.

But the migration was not a natural event.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Guest Posts At Atheist Pig And Reason Being



I've written two guest posts recently. The first post was for Reason Being and the piece is titled Hanging out with other atheists. It's a story of how I was able to escape from the suburbs last Wednesday night and got to talk my smack while socializing (ie drinking) with some of the godless in Cambridge, MA. For the second piece,  I've been able to fool The Atheist Pig into thinking I have a smidgen of talent.  I wrote  IT'S WAR --  Gangsters take sides in the battles for the atheist blogosphere for him. As many regular readers of Purgatory know, no one is safe from satire.

I hope you enjoy both of them.

LiP

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Bristol Palin, #1 Mom


As many of you know, I have two children, Will and Ali (10 and 7 years old). And they're not angels, they can test limits like any other kids their age. I too am not an angel. My kids will occasionally hear a curse come out of my mouth that's directed at some inanimate object, like the time I tripped over a Nerf gun (ahem, their Nerf gun) and blew out my ankle. However,  my kids have never, ever heard me use the word faggot. Guess what? I have never, ever heard them say the word faggot either.

In this clip we have Bristol, Trip, and Willow (I can happily say I have no idea who Willow is) entering a hotel room. Let's see what happens when little Trip, Bristol Palin's boy, doesn't get what he wants.





Yes, he did call them a faggot.

Bristol Palin should feel good, at least he didn't use the Lord's name in vain.

This is Purgatory.

The Jesus Games

Jesus, after doing the highest high-jump ever.


Petersburg, Kentucky Answers in Genesis (AiG), the organization behind the Creation Museum and the proposed Ark Encounter theme park, announced today the first annual Jesus Games. The Jesus Games, much like the Olympics, will be a series of contests between amateur competitors from around the globe.

"The Jesus Games are intended not only to showcase the skills of the players, but to illustrate biblically based principles", stated Games coordinator, Effie Trinket. "I believe that the Holy Spirit will reach out and touch the hearts of the tributes [competitors] as well as everyone watching the events. When I shout out 'May you ever be in God's favor' at the beginning of the Games, I know I will be doing His work."

AiG has released four of the faith-based competitions the tributes will be engaged in.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

George Zimmerman Says He Regrets Nothing: 'It Was God's Plan' For Me To ...



It's late. I just came back from a meeting of atheists/secularists in Cambridge and saw the clip .  This simply confirms my opinion of Zimmerman as, if nothing else, an idiot.

Mississippi Passes Anti-Richard Dawkins Legislation

Mississippi: Protecting God's children


Mississippi has officially made talking about Richard Dawkins, the famed atheist and biologist,  to minors illegal. Bill A.C.A. 5-71-226, otherwise known as the Anti-Youth Subversion Act, passed both houses of the legislature by an overwhelming margin, and signed into law by Governor Haley Barbour. Governor Barbour praised the bill, and stated that he hoped that it would serve as an example for other states to emulate.
Today we struck a blow for religious freedom in the great state of Mississippi. For too long our children have been unprotected against the nefarious teachings of Richard Dawkins. I have personally talked to many concerned parents who said that they were horrified when their children told them that God was a delusion or that human beings are simply carbon-based robots who took orders from the D-N-A. This law puts the end of that nonsense now. Let's pray that Mississippi will be a beacon of hope for the rest of our Christian nation.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Are You A Feminist? Poll



I placed a new poll in the upper left column that simply asks Are you a feminist? A simple question on a topic that people in the atheist community, well, have strongly differing opinions on.  I haven't defined what feminism is or how its relationship to us, and that is intentional, because I want to know what you think on the matter. That being the case, feel free to place your *polite and well thought out comments below. I will undoubtedly add my own as time goes by.


LiP


(* there will no none of this ripping into each other nonsense)

Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Walking Dead And Atheists

Why do I like the AMC show The Walking Dead  and the zombie genre in general?

I think this nifty picture I made up says it all.



OK, I made a few more up I thought I'd share.







Smile.

This is Purgatory.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Joe Paterno To Be Made A Saint





Joe Paterno, once head coach of Penn State's football team, is officially on the fast track of becoming a Catholic saint. The news was announced by none other than Pope Benedict XVI during mass.
Joe Paterno, who was lovingly known as "JoePa" to his team, fans, and alumni was called back to God's loving embrace this past January. In light of JoePa's life long dedication to Catholic principles, I have placed him on the fastest possible path to sainthood.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Christian Cliches, God Particles, And Hitch


What appears to be a blurry, out of focus image below is actually a blurry shot from my latest excuse for having a bit of rum in the mid afternoon -- the video Top Ten Cliches Christians Say.

I wrote down the jokes on Purgatory a few days ago. They were the direct cause of my defriending and blocking someone of Facebook who insisted on engaging in FOX News inspired non-logic(obfuscation, ad hominem attacks, etc.) and trollish behavior.




Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Atheists Now Have Their Own Super PAC -- APAC



WASHINGTON -- Patriotic atheists gathered today deep in our nation's capital to celebrate the birth of their own super PAC: APAC.

APAC is intended to financially support candidates, regardless of political affiliation, who protect the separation of church and state, atheist rights in the workplace as well as placing Carl Sagan's face on Mount Rushmore. APAC will also lead the way in fighting South Carolina's recent outlawing of evolution, Texas' banning of anyone deemed thinking "outside the Christian box", and the state law in Arkansas that prevents atheists from speaking to any underage child about Richard Dawkins, the famous biologist and atheist.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Celebrity Priests In Africa, Islamists In Mali... And Zombies

The first two stories are depressing,
so I added this bunny to lighten things up.


I was reading this week's Economist and found two articles to share. And for those of you who must absolutely know everything about me, I have a new iPhone. I got the Wall Street Journal app and found an interesting story concerning zombies...

Celebrity priests

It was only a matter of time before the Jesus-industrial complex set up shop in Africa. Unsurprisingly, it bears many of the same noxious characteristics with its American counterpart.
“It doesn't matter how many people come to services,” says Temitope Joshua, pastor of Nigeria’s Synagogue Church of All Nations. “It’s about how many people are being saved.” But it is the sheer size of his flock in Lagos that marks out Mr Joshua, better known as Prophet T B Joshua, who runs one of Africa’s mega-churches; 15,000 people attend his services every Sunday. A lot more watch his channel, Emmanuel TV.
15,000 congregants on a Sunday sounds like typical attendance for well developed theocratic states    -- like Texas, for example.

My Top Ten Christian Cliches

I sometimes comment on the Huffington Post's Religion section just to see if my snarky response gets through the moderators. Today's comment was on 10 Cliches Christians Should Avoid.

Here are my top ten Christian cliches.

10. You're going to Hell.
9. Faggot.
8. You're going to Hell, Faggot.
7. Vote Republican.
6. You have to respect my right to tell you what to do.
5. It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
4. You're going to Hell (such a favorite it had to mentioned twice).
3. America is a Christian country.
2. *insert biblical verse* support assertion by *another biblical verse*.
1. The Old Testament has nothing to do with us -- and then use Old Testament verses to support current political policies.

Obvious?

Yes.

Funny?

Maybe.

Sad?

Definitely.

This is Purgatory.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

NtB: Nil-thought Blogs



NtB: Nil-thought blogs

Mission Statement


Nil-thought Blogs will provide the best material of the atheist blogosphere for our readers. NtB's vision is to be the hub of online secular discourse, to inspire a love a science as well as a respect for logical thinking, and provide a forum where godless activists can honestly explore issues facing atheists. Our goal is not simply to inform, but to also provide a welcoming community for all of our readers.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Higgs Boson Memes

I was on Facebook when my buddy Steve from Left Hemispheres posted a joke concerning the Higgs Boson. And I thought I could do the new discovery justice so I went down to the lab and cooked up a few memes about the God Particle.

Enjoy.



Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Five Ways How I'm Teaching Morality To My Kids

Raising godless and moral kids is not rocket science,
 but it does take consistent effort.


Every once in a while I'll be asked by either an irate or curious theist how is it possible to teach my children  morality without God. I consider this a fairly honest query, mostly because godlessness is such a foreign concept to many (especially here in the States). Ergo, here is a short list of ways I'm  nurturing their sense of right and wrong.

 Repeat the Golden Rule again and again and again and again -- repeat as necessary.

 As it was recently pointed out in a Huffington Post article the Golden Rule had been discovered by many cultures at different times and is not owned by any cult or sect. I have stated the principle in age appropriate language for my children when the topic is relevant. Anyone who has been responsible for caring for young children knows that relevant moments can come up quite often.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Light Up The Night Walk For The Leukemia And Lymphoma Society

As many regular readers of Purgatory know, I believe in helping others. Most of the time helping out means doing simple acts of everyday kindness that aren't really worth writing about here. (*I also don't want to sound like some wanker who is only looking for a pat on the back.) There are times when the godless community chooses to do something to help out those in need. Such cases are worth mentioning, of course, in order to get other atheists involved in the event, and writing about the activity afterwards since many media outlets may not be willing to report the good done by atheists.

The Light the Night Walk is coming up this fall, and seems like a great chance for atheist nation to get out and do something positive for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS).

Our goal is to unite the freethought movement around the world to raise one million U.S. dollars for the fight against cancer in 2012. This would make the FBB [Foundation Beyond Belief] team the first team in LLS history to bring in $1,000,000 or more in their first year! In addition, we hope to have at least 100 local FBB teams in our first year.



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