Saturday, July 28, 2012

Amnesty International Uses Drones In Syria

Amnesty International's new fleet of drones
 Amnesty International (AI), the organization dedicated to nonviolence and advocating for human rights around the world, has secretly armed itself in the past few months. Rumors concerning the clandestine purchases of drone technology have been circulating for quite a while. But now the evidence is clear: AI has an active fleet of unmanned aerial vehicles armed with a variety of missiles designed to carry out various missions.

"To put it in simple everyday language, we at Amnesty International got tired of this crap," stated the Secretary General of AI, Dr Paul Nostrum. "The conflict in Syria really was the straw that broke the camel's back. That conflict has been raging for well over a year. And during that time AI has sent countless letters, emails, Facebook messages, and tweets to the Syrian regime to come to a settlement that will lead to a peaceful political transition. What did we get for our troubles? They blocked us on Fb and stopped following us on Twitter. That meant war -- and not a war of words either."

Amnesty International has secretly acquired drone technology when the Iranians sold them the US drone that fell in Iranian airspace late last year. After a few trial runs of that aircraft, AI became hooked on the technology. A fleet of drones were illicitly purchased on the black market, and were initially used for surveillance.
We weren't really prepared to see in real time how bad human rights abuses actually are. Once we saw these events we knew that asking people to please stop butchering their fellow man simply wasn't enough. -- Secretary General Dr Paul Nostrum
It was a simple step to acquire weaponry for the unmanned aircraft. Governments regularly flood then world markets with a variety of weapons. Through third party intermediaries AI acquired the missiles, cannons, and guns that can easily be fitted onto drones.

However, it became evident to the management team at AI that sooner or later their secret would be discovered. One of the ways to lessen the blow to the Amnesty International's brand was to rename the weapons and drones in a more kinder, gentler way.
  • Hellfire missiles became Peacemaker Messengers.
  • Reaper drones were rebranded as Hugs-a-lot drones.
  • Vulcan canons were renamed the Human rights advocate.
  • Predator drones became I asked you nicely to stop doing that drones.

A I asked you nicely to stop doing that drone fires a
Peacemaker Messenger.
 Currently, AI is flying their fleet of Peacemakers, Hugs-a-lots, and other drones over the skies of Syria. While the opposition forces are celebrating the assistance, they have received an ominous tweet from their benefactors at Amensty.

Our friends, this war will be finished shortly, please make sure that the rights of every Syrian are respected . Or else. ;)

The Syrian opposition has released a document saying that they are placing Amesty International in their friend's circle on Google +.


  1. Love the "I asked you nicely to stop doing that" drone. Maybe all weapons should be renamed - instead of an Uzi, it could be called a "Huzi-whatsit." Those elusive weapons of mass destruction could be "Whoopsy-daisies."

  2. Well, heck, AI had to do SOMETHING to get their attention.

  3. Very original Andy---great post. You call attention to the seriousness and tragedy that is the situation in Syria, yet do so in a way that shows that current tactics have failed. Well done.


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