Monday, May 21, 2012

Massachusetts Asks Southern States To Be Nice


                                                                                                             247 Park Place Blvd.
                                                                                                             May 21, 2012

Southern States
13A Christ Lane
Dear Southern States,
I’m writing you, my fellow states, in light of the verbal abuse that I suffer. Every single day the same old insults are slung at me. Massachusetts’ citizens are called Massholes. I am constantly called names such as Taxachusetts, Gayachusetts as well as Little France by states south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Please stop this. Contrary to what you may all think, life here is pretty good.
·         According to a 2011 Harvard study, while reading proficiency in Mississippi is comparable to Russia or Bulgaria, Massachusetts performs more like Singapore, Japan, or South Korea. Often better: Massachusetts students rank fifth in the world in reading, lapping Singapore and Japan, and needless to say, every state in the union. In math, Massachusetts slots in a global ninth, ahead of Japan and Germany. (Some international educational studies rank Shanghai and Hong Kong as separate countries; if this wasn’t done, Massachusetts would likely rank two places higher.)
·         Massachusetts has the lowest percentage of uninsured residents—5 percent… compared to 16 percent nationally, and a whopping 25 percent in Texas.
So why don’t we all bury the hatchet and simply stop the name calling? The country is in a big enough mess without states exacerbating our collective problems.

Here are a few responses to the letter.

                                          13A Christ Lane
                                          Real America

247 Park Place Blvd
Not-Real America
Dear Non-Texan State,

Our health care system sucks, but we have guns.
Lots of Guns.


Dear Massachusetts,

Kindly keep your science off our Jesus.



  1. If MA ranks 5th - I'd hate to see where RI ranks.

  2. I don't want to come across as a spammer, Andrew, but if you read the new post on my blog site below (same as that in My recent post) in my "Atheist Revolution" comment, you will see why many people from MS and GA lack the mental capacity to think much about anything beyond breathing.

  3. Having lived in the south my whole life and after seeing Mass I so wanted to move there , it was like a heaven , I didnt have people trying ( ok a very few) to pushe they bible down my throat ,or ranting about how being a transgender was going to send me to hell , in fact the south wishes they were as good as the great state of Mass , but then that wound require them to think for there self's not they misnters doing they thinking
    And think about this , which of the state have lead the country forward, in civil right ? it aint the south baby ,

    1. No, Massachusetts is not the South. It is the anti-South.


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