I was exploring WikiIslam earlier today and discovered the People Who Left Islam section. You can find many, many testimonials of people who once believed in Islam but now do not. Unsurprisingly the testimonials illustrate common feelings and experiences that Christians feel when discovering their faith is a sham. Not every writer decides to become an atheist -- some become Christian, others Hindu. For this post I wanted to share parts of the testimonials from those who became atheists.
...I opened my mind and started thinking. I read the Qur'an, Bible, Torah, learn about Buddhism, Hinduism etc. and even the religion of tribes. I also went to churches and temples with my non-Muslim friends to further understand their religion. Even so, I did all this with the thought of strengthening my religion and always compared the other religion to Islam. However, after a while, the idea of religion itself became more and more ridiculous. I had more questions than when I had started. I've been so caught up with knowing which god is the true God, that I failed to ask myself, is there even a god to begin with?
...What made me even more secretive about my atheism is when my parents got into my laptop and found that I had been surfing through a lot of atheist website. I got a hell of a scolding. My mom cried and my dad told me I wasn't his son any more. In the end I had no choice but to lie to them and convince them that I was only curious and still love Islam. I had to recite the shahadah and my dad made me recite verses from the Qur'an.
I still live in the closet, telling no one that I'm an atheist as I would probably receive backlash from the Muslim community here. Whenever I pray together with my family, I feel like a hypocrite. It is hard sometimes and I do get the fear of hell but I have to live with it. I just hope that time will make it better. I get support and encouragement from on-line forum and on-line groups as it is very hard to find ex-Muslims in Singapore and I don't think there any groups like this is Singapore. I'm sure there are others who are experiencing similar problems to me. Minar from Singapore
... I would be up all night researching the hadiths and Qur'an to help ease some doubts and problems that crept up in my mind. Eventually I stumbled upon a hadith where the Prophet said that women are "deficient in intelligence and religion", and justified their inferior position in society. Further research into it, and I had serious doubts of my religion. Eventually I decided that the best way to gauge the accuracy of the Qur'an is to analyze its so-called "scientific miracles". Over and over again, I came across clear-cut examples of scientific inaccuracies, such as believing that the earth is flat, misconceptions about human reproduction, and the silly creation myths. Eventually, I realized that Islam (and Christianity, Judaism, and all other modern religions) are no more true than the religion of the Ancient Greeks, Egyptians and other religions. I consider myself an intellectual, and I hope to be a scientist when I grow up. Religion could just not stand up to scientific scrutiny, and along with the appalling backwardness of the Muslim countries of today, which the people believe is what Allah wants, caused me to stop believing.
But I can't let anyone know. I am sick and tired of having to check for halal and haram foods, of having to say no to girls, and all the other stuff which Islam puts on me. But I have to do it anyway. My parents and family would literally disown me if they found out about my apostasy, and I would be harshly ostracized by my community if I started doing or saying things against Islam. Shurayh, originally from Pakistan, now in Canada
...Before that I had found many contradictions in the Quran, but I was blind and decided not to think about it. Then I met a Dutch woman and it was love at first sight. She was a feminist and strangely enough I agreed to tolerate it. But I loved her intelligence and her self-esteem. I didn't want to have four wives because I love only one woman. Soon I became a feminist myself! But I didn't leave Islam because my parents told that Islam was a pro-feminist religion (rubbish). Then my wife got pregnant. My father told me that I had to forbid her from working. But how could I? She's an independent human being. She didn't want to stop her career. Father said I was the head of the family and I could demand whatever I wanted from her. I said we were equal. He named me a fool. But I didn't leave Islam.
Then my baby girl was born. My father said I didn't have to speak to my wife for some weeks. I was astonished. I looked at my baby girl and promised she would never suffer like other Muslimahs. She will be independent and self-sufficient like her mother. I left Islam the day my daughter was born. Soon afterward, Holland was astounded to hear the latest news. The murder of Theo Van Gogh was the last straw. I knew something like that was going to happen. If you knew what Imams are preaching in mosques across Holland, you would understand that there is nothing strange with killing of this poor director. A.H.K. originally from Morocco, now in Holland
Here is a video about prominent ex-Muslims.