Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Hubble Telescope's Images Prove God Exists

The Hubble Space Telescope is making news once again. Since its launch in 1990 the Hubble has taken many images of deep space using sophisticated instrumentation to observe near ultraviolet, visible, and near infrared light. However, the telescope is currently making waves amongst the world's religious believers.

I had the pleasure of interviewing the foremost authority on faith-based science, Professor Andrew Canard of TIT (Theological Institute of Technology).

"The latest images from the Hubble Telescope offers conclusive proof that God exists," stated the winner of the prestigious Templeton Prize. "This is the most conclusive evidence in the Almighty since the Theory of Evolution got debunked," he continued.

Mr Canard showed some of the latest images from Hubble.

"See? Isn't it an epiphany?" Professor Canard asked this writer.

"Well, it seems to be a very nice picture of a supernova of some sort. I just don't see the religious significance."

Visibly peeved, Canard took a few markers out.

"I find it difficult to believe that I have to do this," he grumbled.

"Here. Do you see it now?"


"It's obviously Jesus -- can't you see the blue eyes?" Canard peered into me.

"Here's the next image."

I looked at the picture, and then back to the hopeful Professor Canard, and then back to the picture.

"I'm going with the birth of Jesus?" I cautiously offered.

Canard then sighed and typed on his laptop.

"Here, this should help the Holy Spirit open your eyes," he showed me the spiritually enhanced image.

"I see it quite plainly now."

"Excellent. I want you to know that even though the Hubble has confirmed our deepest insights into the nature of God and His creation there has been some controversy," the professor offered.

"Really? Everything seems to be so black and white. Who can argue with this type of evidence?"

"Take a look at this. Here is an image the Hubble took of God Himself."

I was stunned. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

"Definitely. Here is the enhanced image," he gravely said.

"What does this mean, Professor?"

"I'm sure exactly. But what I do know is that the Pope has ordered that wafers will no longer be used for communion and that parishioners will be supplied with jelly donuts."

"Hmmm donuts," I replied.



  1. Thanks for clearing this all up Andy. In all seriousness, how awesome is the Hubble? I could look at pictures from it all day. Perhaps that is one reason I get frustrated when theists ask me "how can you live without the wonder and magnificence of god in your life?" The reason: I do not believe in god, and the real universe is chock full of wonder and magnificence. What reason is there to make up something wonderful...just open your eyes.

    1. What I like about doing this blog is that I don't have to explain every little joke.

      Oh yeah, the Hubble is awesome.

  2. "Since the theory of evolution got debunked." This reads like an Onion article.

    1. Thanks. I like a mix of posts on Purgatory. Some pieces are strictly satirical and are about the short commings of religion (like this one) and are very Onionesque while other posts are about real news stories that you would like to be made up (such as the one about people attacking witches in India).

  3. You can kinda make out J.C.'s nose in that first picture....

  4. Your a complete idiot, do you see it now?


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