Friday, April 6, 2012

10 Plagues Of Egypt? I Give You The 10 Plagues of Reason

Passover begins at sundown today, April 6th. A central part of the Passover celebration, of course, commemorates the 10 Plagues that God (or G-d as devout Jews refer to the Sky Fairy) drops down on the Egyptians. And I was thinking about what plagues we atheists suffer from everyday. What curses are we the recipients of? Of course, there is no deity that inflicts harm upon us. Rather our grief is derived from a populace stuck in the grip of a barbaric fairy tale. Here are the 10 Plagues of Reason.

10. Passover

Passover has to be mentioned because it's a perfect blueprint of barbaric behavior from Yahweh. Here are the Plagues of Egypt.

Plague of blood. 
Plague of frogs.
Plague of lice or gnats
Plague of flies or wild animals
Plague of pestilence
Plague of boils 
Plague of hail 
Plague of locusts 
Plague of darkness
and my personal favorite

Yahweh inflicts the Egyptians with these plagues simply to make the point: I am God -- not any god but the God. God doesn't send Pharaoh a vision to make His point or forcibly change the despot's mind on the matter either. Yahweh has it stuck in His mind to kill, kill, kill. Now some of the more devout among you may say, God doesn't go about mucking with people's minds, otherwise we would have no freewill.

So they took soot from a furnace and stood before Pharaoh. Moses tossed it into the air, and festering boils broke out on people and animals. The magicians could not stand before Moses because of the boils that were on them and on all the Egyptians. But the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart and he would not listen to Moses and Aaron, (emphasis mine) just as the LORD had said to Moses. Exodus 9: 10-12

9. The amount of Americans who don't believe in evolution.

I just got back from a vacation in Florida. I am certain that there has to be some law that vacation spots can't mention evolution. There's no doubt that mentioning evolution would be plain silly at a place like the Magic Kingdom (the natural depository for all fictional creatures from Snow White to Allah), but we went to Sea World and Disney's Animal Kingdom. Those places are supposed to be educational as well as informative. Whatever tid bits of knowledge about evolution you will find there are the ones you bring in yourself. While waiting in one of the lines the Wife and I were discussing the amount of Americans who acknowledged evolution as scientific law. I wasn't precisely sure of the number (though I knew it was incredibly low) and then I googled it. There it was: 39%

8. Pat Robertson

This guy is a one man plague on rational thought. There are so many idiotic videos of this man it's hard to pick one. Hell, let's go with the Haitians made a pact with the Devil one. 

7. Rick Santorum is a serious contender to be the presidential nominee of the Republican party.

Rick Santorum should be laughed off the public stage when he talks the crazy talk. Period. Instead the man is in the running to be arguably the most powerful person in the world. Let's take a look at one of Mr Santorum's comments. Here he is talking about an invisible man. No, not God, but the evil invisible man.
"This is not a political war at all, this is not a culture war at all, this is a spiritual war," Mr Santorum told students at Ave Maria University in Naples. "And the father of lies has his sights on what you think the father of lies, Satan, would have his sights on. A good, decent, powerful, influential country, the United States of America."
That should be Rick's campaign slogan: I will fight the evil invisible man that imperils us all!

6. The Catholic Church is running a child prostitution racket.

OK, OK they aren't running a brothel. Instead the Church is simply a worldwide organization that has nurtured and protected pedophiles for centuries.

Here is what an ex- "fixer" from the Church had to say about his activities.

He said that protecting the Church was paramount and that little or no concern was ever shown for the victims.
Victims were regarded as a liability– a huge financial liability – and a big problem.
Asked whether he ever considered reporting abuse to the police or child protection services, Wall said “never”.

5. Under God is on our currency.

Every time I look at a quarter, dollar bill, etc I am reminded that in 1956 our country was in the grip of the Cold War, and due to that fear Congress decided to place Under God on all US currency. Another stellar decision made by a government that supported segregation and allowed states to ban marriage between the races (in order to protect traditional marriage, of course).

4. Really good people quoting from horribly immoral books on Facebook.  

I have a buddy, "Kevin" who I went to college with. He's a great guy. Kevin has worked with people who have disabilities for years. Everyday he makes a positive difference in someone's life. I would have no problem leaving my kids with him. However, Kevin is a Christian, and a few weeks ago he posted this on Facebook.  
But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.
This is part of a verse from Joshua (24:15). I hate the Book of Joshua with a passion. It's a story of the blitzkrieg invasion of Canaan by the ancient Israelites, and to continue with the Nazi metaphor the Jews attempted to launch their own Final Solution on the natives.

I have a policy not to go out of my way and argue with friends on Facebook. But I was feeling a bit ornery that morning, and to tell you all the truth a wee bit of moral outrage. I decided to comment on his post.
This is my favorite verse from the Book of Joshua: They devoted the city to the LORD and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it--men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys. Joshua 6:21

He took it well. Well, at least he didn't defriend me.

3. Even though evolution wasn't mentioned once at Sea World I saw this happy message written in the sky while leaving. 

God's great unless you're gay, the wrong religion, etc, etc, etc...

2. The Noah's Ark museum being built in Kentucky.

I feel that the term museum is being maligned. Let's look at its definition from Bing.
A place where important things are preserved: a building or institution where objects of artistic, historical, or scientific importance and value are kept, studied, and put on display.
There is no doubt that the Flood story is important in terms of having the requisite cultural knowledge. To have a really good grasp of cultural references knowledge of the Bible is necessary. But the people building this monstrosity not only think the Flood is factually true, but that it is a solid, moral story to tell kids. God killing 99.99% of the population - including the children as well as the mentally disabled - is a wonderful tale to these poor deluded and dangerous people.

1. The idea that Faith > Reason
Faith is the surrender of the mind; it’s the surrender of reason, it’s the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other mammals. It’s our need to believe, and to surrender our skepticism and our reason, our yearning to discard that and put all our trust or faith in someone or something, that is the sinister thing to me. Of all the supposed virtues, faith must be the most overrated. - Christopher Hitchens


  1. Great Post Andy. As usual, you had me laughing a few times. I suppose you didn't stop by "The Holy Land" theme park and take that tour when you were in Orlando. I thought about the last time I was there. I figured it would be a comedy show (at least for me) then realized it may be more of tragedy...
    The evolution and Santorum things are the two that bother me the most on your list. They have the very real potential to destroy the future of our country. The other things annoy me, but are definitely a step lower on my list.

  2. I would laugh, too, if it weren't so sad.

    Sorry, you got to me on a sober morning.


  3. I know Disney doesn't get to much into evolution (which I find sad) but I do know they at least have one attraction that talks about the Big Bang and has Bill Nye The Science Guy in it at EPCOT.

    Hope you had a good trip!


    1. We were actually in the Big Bang line at EPCOT when we had the evolution conversation. Bill Nye's voice made me think about the percentage of Americans in denial over evolution.


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