Friday, March 16, 2012

Five Things That This Atheist Has Learned From The World's Religions.

I've gotten into reading pieces on the Huffington Post Religion section. And before getting into the meat and potatoes of today's comedic take, I just want to say that although none of my comments have been removed by the moderators for being dickish (although I do challenge people's beliefs), quite a few responses to my atheistic comments have been removed.
I'm sure you're not surprised.
That being said, today's piece of  Purgatory satire focuses on the post: 5 Insights From the World's Religions. But enough talk, let's get into the Five Things That This Atheist Has Learned From The World's Religions.


Would this Hindu god lie to you?
5.  *insert god's name here* said it, believers believe it!
Regardless of the particular absurdity such as: bathing in the polluted Ganges River cleanses one's fictitious soul, women are untouchable during parts of their menstrual cycle or zombies rose from the dead immediately after Jesus died, the underlying principle of religion is that a belief in absurd holiness is wholly absurd.





God's train has always been off the tracks.
4. Religion has a lot of ooopsies.
Catholics killing heretical sects like the Cathars was considered OK back in the day. Hell, they dedicated a whole crusade to it (the Albigensian Crusade). Martin Luther created a system of systematically attacking Jews that would only be matched by the Final Solution of the Third Reich. Hinduism created a rigid social system where if one's parents are at the bottom of the social order, well, you will be too along with your children's children. Islam, well, I think we can let the religion of peace speak for itself. Most of Islam is still in its "Oooopsie/Bronze Age" stage of development.
Do you know why Hinduism and the faiths of the West have become civilized?
It certainly wasn't because of religion.
Give credit where credit is due: Enlightenment values pushed religion from despotism and committing genocide to the point where most faiths have to play nice.


Science is testable.
Myth isn't.
3. You can use religion to mean anything you want.

Say you want to support to support slavery. The Bible has a verse for you.
Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Colossians 3:22 
Say you want a verse to fight against slavery. The Bible can help you out with that too.


Then say to him, 'The LORD, the God of the Hebrews, has sent me to say to you: Let my people go,... Exodus 7:16


And this goes on and on...

The problem with religion is that God is made up. You can think anything you want about God and justify anything in His name, because God isn't going to punish you. Yahweh is just like any other fictional character, say Superman, for example. If the publishers of DC comics wanted to they could make Superman a villain and team up with Lex Luthor as long as it sold comics. It isn't like "the real" Superman is going to fly down and punish the writers.


Photograph of a slave boy in Zanzibar.
 'An Arab master's punishment for a slight offence.' c. 1890.
from Wikipedia
The dictum of all religious belief: Obey or else 

2. Religion wants you to obey and surrender. 

I'm just going to quote the writer of the Huffington Post piece.
The world Islam literally means a peace found through surrender. What is it one needs to surrender in order to find this peace? Islam teaches one must utterly surrender oneself to Allah, to God. Since Allah is the ultimate truth and source of the universe, we suffer and we cause suffering when we elevate ourselves over Allah. We find peace through a complete surrendering of every aspect our lives to this greater reality. The purpose of Muslim prayer five times a day (Salat) is to connect with Allah, to remind oneself throughout every day to surrender.
Q: Do you know what happens when a person completely surrenders to an irrational belief that can be twisted in anyway?

A: People flying planes into skyscrapers.

Complete surrendering means getting a faith-based lobotomy. That's not for me, thank you very much. Evolution is a long process and it has taken many a millenia for me to get my frontal lobes. I'm not giving up critical thinking for anyone.


Monuments to the futile belief  in the supernatural.

1. Not believing in God is the only rational choice.

Not believing in God is not the royal road to wisdom. There are many atheists out there doing foolish things. However, the default setting for our species is foolish, and at other times tragic. Hoping that a make-believe man is going to save us from this tragic-comedy called life is absurd. It's one absurdity this absurdist refuses to sign onto.

This is Purgatory. 

1 comment:

  1. Through chaos we find answers through nonsense and make believe, for some this gives comfort. While for the rest it leaves us with more questions from their chaos.

    ReplyDelete

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