A Comedy Bit About The Speech Impediment I Had When I Was A Kid

Is this funny?
I'm going to put it to the test

Below is a bit I'm working on for some open mic stand-up I plan to do on Sunday night. This routine is based on a speech impediment I had when I was a kid. Let me rephrase that: my horrifically bad speech impediment. How bad? I got tossed out of the Christian kindergarten I was going to because of my speech delay. In retrospect I was better off hanging out with the kid wearing a helmet on the special bus then being in that faith-based "school".

Here is my bit (it's still a bit raw).

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I used to have a speech impediment when I was a kid. I spoke like there was a herd of hamsters stuck in my mouth.

But what I discovered was that I could spit out words when I was very frustrated.

I was in speech class and all the students were saying words.

Teacher: Say mailbox

Me: aiox

Teacher: Say mailbox

Me: ai ox

Teacher: Andy, I needed you to say mail box.

And then it burst out of me: Fucking mailbox!

It was at that point I found out that I could add fuck to every word and my teachers as well as my parents were OK with it.

Breakfast would have me point to the syrup and say, "Fucking syrup", and I'd get some syrup.

School time: Fucking pencil.

In church: Fucking Jesus.

After a while my speech got much better, but I decided to keep going with the speech impediment for years.  What kid doesn't like saying fuck? Then I got too confident. I pushed the limits too far. I was in speech class one day and we were practicing words, and one of the other kids had a real hard time saying a word. He kept trying and trying, but just didn’t get it. And it was such a simple word. Finally I shouted out  “Jesus fucking Christ, just say mailbox!”

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I plan to change it around a bit over the next day or so. Like any other creative endeavor the idea takes time to develop.

LiP