Yahweh: The Original Gangsta -- Finishing Up 1 Kings

Truly, an old school mob boss.

I've written on how Yahweh could easily be mistaken for a super villain, but after finishing 1 Kings there is a strong case for the Lord to be more of a crime boss. The last time we left the Almighty, He had provided empirical evidence that He actually existed. However, even after the divinely inspired slaughter of the priests of Baal, Ahab, the king of the Northern Kingdom, still does evil in the eyes of the Lord.


Ahab plans to invade his northern neighbor and attempts to get the king of Judah, Jehoshaphat, to assist him. Ahab and Jehoshaphat consult with 400 prophets to make sure the Almighty will give His seal of approval for the unprovoked attack on another country. The 400 prophets all say the same thing Invade away! However, Jehoshaphat wants advice from another prophet and Miciah is called to court to offer his opinion on the upcoming operation.

Not only does Miciah say that the invasion is doomed to fail, but that God has managed to feed false information to the 400 prophets. That's right, God lied in order to punish Ahab.

And he said, Hear thou therefore the word of the LORD: I saw the LORD sitting on his throne, and all the host of heaven standing by him on his right hand and on his left.

And the LORD said, Who shall persuade Ahab, that he may go up and fall at Ramothgilead? [where the invasion is taking place] And one said on this manner, and another said on that manner. 1 Kings 22: 19-21

I'm pretty sure I've seen this movie before. The head good fellow hangs out with his crew (it's funny how movies about the mob and the Old Testament are dominated by men) and says "Hey, I've got this problem about that guy with the thing. Who's got ideas about how we are going to resolve this unfortunate state of affairs?" And then his boys suggest all kinds of ideas until at last a good idea is offered.

And there came forth a spirit, and stood before the LORD, and said, I will persuade him. 1 Kings 22: 22

But how? What's the plan? The all-knowing Lord doesn't seem to know what the spirit has planned.

And the LORD said unto him, Wherewith? And he said, I will go forth, and I will be a lying spirit in the mouth of all his prophets. And he said, Thou shalt persuade him, and prevail also: go forth, and do so.

Now therefore, behold, the LORD hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all these thy prophets, and the LORD hath spoken evil concerning thee. 1 Kings 22: 22-23

Once again, we have a happy ending to the story. Ahab is killed along with many others, and the Lord's will is done.

The next time a Christian tells you that Satan is the originator of all lies, simply point out this story. Of course the Christian will probably reply that Satan is the source of all the bad lies. God's lies are good. After all, God is good; the Bible tells him so

This is Purgatory.