Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Tim Tebow Effect or Why You Should Dope-Smack 43.3% Of the People You See

43.3% of Americans polled believe

that God has intervened in

some way with Tim Tebow's success.

Please forgive the melodramatic start to this post, but I didn't want to bury the skull bursting results from the poll administered by Poll Position. Pollsters called 1,076 people on land lines (what, people still have land lines?) and inquired if they knew who Tim Tebow is. Seventy percent of the respondents knew who he was. Those who knew were asked this question: Do believe that any of Tim Tebow’s success can be attributed to Divine Intervention?

43.3% said yes.
And when we talk about intervention, we're talking about the supposed Almighty changing the course of natural events. Tim Tebow getting inspired by a deity is not intervention, per se. Intervention is not the hours and hours of practice the man has done to bring the Broncos into the playoffs. No. Divine Intervention is a miracle in which natural laws are usurped because God wills it. Of course, in other historical periods and in other cultures a different deity or deities may have been considered the source of such miracles. Such assertions from followers of false gods are inane, because we have Tim Tebow to inform us all that Jesus, his dad, and the Holy Spirit, are the one true deity. Thankfully, Tim happened to be born in a culture and time that recognizes the obvious obviousness of the divinity of Jesus. Another blessing is that Tim was able to craft an enlightened opinion on the nature of the universe while attending home school that taught him this- 
Because God never lies, His Word is completely true. This means that Scripture is without error (inerrant) to the degree it represents the original manuscripts. We believe that the original manuscripts are completely free of error, and God has preserved the Bible so that it remains authoritative.
And how does the Christo-American Taliban know the above statement is true? Because these verses in the Bible say it's true! -- Exodus 24:4; Deuteronomy 4:1-2; 17:19; Joshua 8:34; Psalms 19:7-10; 119:11,89,105,140; Isaiah 34:16; 40:8; Jeremiah 15:16; 36; Matthew 5:17-18; 22:29; Luke 21:33; 24:44-46; John 5:39; 16:13-15; 17:17; Acts 2:16ff.; 17:11; Romans 15:4; 16:25-26; 2 Timothy 3:15-17; Hebrews 1:1-2; 4:12; 1 Peter 1:25; 2 Peter 1:19-21. (Personally speaking, quoting from Joshua to support moral behavior is similar to going to a brothel in the hope of staying chaste.)

And what is the Tim Tebow Effect that I referenced in the title of this post? It's the shroud of idiocy that descends on 43.3% of Americans when they reflect on a guy who is going to get slapped around by the New England Patriots tonight.

LiP




1 comment:

  1. So 43.3% of Americans believe their god will intervene in a sports contest while ignoring the 27,000 children around the world dying of starvation and malnutrition? That's simply sick, twisted, and downright evil.

    It makes me proud to be an atheist and ashamed to be an American.

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