Like it? Please share it!

ShareThis

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Five Ways The Devil Is Tricking Atheists!

Every Christian knows that the Devil has laid out quite a few traps that silly atheists have fallen for. These snares are devised to separate God's children from the little baby Jesus. Here are five ways that Satan has tricked atheists into believing that there is no God.

Enjoy.

Reading this book is the easiest way to become an atheist.
Reading the Bible.

The Devil tricked me into reading the Bible. If I didn't know what was in the good book, then I wouldn't have spent so much of my time when I was a Christian reconciling a supposedly all benevolent deity with genocide, infanticide, and all the other relevant -ides (goaticide, cowicide, witchicide, etc). All that cognitive dissonance either gives you a faith-based lobotomy or makes you an atheist.

Jesus 1.0

Planting "Fake" Messiah Stories.

Satan is a tricky one. He knew that someday Jesus would be born of a virgin, be slain, and then be resurrected. The devil planted stories just like Jesus' around the Middle East ages before Jesus' birth so that skeptics would get the erroneous notion that the gospels were cheap knock-offs of other people's holy books. Let's take the demonically inspired story of Horus as an example: he was the only son of the god Osiris, there was a special star marking his birth, and the man was baptized in a river by a prophet who eventually got beheaded.
Penicillin is what really killed God.

Satan makes medicine so useful.

Medicine has to be one of the Adversary's most useful tools in tricking people away from God. Once upon a time Christians knew they needed faith to be healed of horrible diseases. Now the Devil comes along and creates stuff like that small pox vaccine and antibiotics to heal people. It's a worst case scenario for Christians, because all that medicine works on infidels like Muslims and Hindus.


Satan, the ultimate model builder.

 Satan planted all those fossils in the ground.

This is a gimme.


Sneaking in the coccyx.

The fact that Satan put all those fossils in the ground is bad. What is worse, however, is that the evil one sneaks in a coccyx - a tailbone- on every human fetus (along with a sprinkle of original sin). Of course, this leads the smarties to think that having a vestigial tail is evidence of our evolutionary past. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.


   

14 comments:

  1. satan doesnt exist....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's exactly what a Satanist would say.

      Delete
    2. Spot on since Satanists don't believe in the devil

      "We begin with the universe and say, 'It’s indifferent. There’s no God, there’s no Devil. No one cares!' " ~ Church of Satan High Priest Peter H. Gilmore

      Delete
  2. Wow, as a european citizen, you people sure get butthurt over someone's beliefs. If a atheist / satanist or what is going to hell anyway, why cant you just let them be ? isnt it punishment enough. or are you projecting your own insecurity's about your faith on a minority?

    ReplyDelete
  3. This seems to be a sarcastic article from the atheist "A" to the right along with other ads and blog links to agnostic/atheistic views. So if you, the readers read this as a serious article, go have your sarcasm meters checked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad someone else got it. The blog is called "Laughing in Purgatory", how on Earth could anyone think this was a serious article? It's obviously satire.

      Delete
    2. Well ... with all due respect.... It's written in English and hosted in the U.S,, a country where 53 % of people is creationist.
      It could be easily be taken as a "serious research work" provided for helping teachers at elementary schools.

      Sorry, but that's the stupid stereotype we have from you here in South America.

      Just keep this good work going on.

      Delete
  4. Seriously dude, you need help.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anyone else miss the fact that this is Sarcasm. Just putting it put there...

    ReplyDelete
  6. satan planted the fossils in the ground? wow,you are realy dumb!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. If satan punishes the bad people, then doen't that make him the good guy ?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I know I'm late to the party, but the comments here are super amusing.

    Andrew: I just hit your blog recently and I've been looking over some of the stuff in random order. Nice job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Scott. Hope you enjoy the reading.

      Delete
  9. I'm a christian and i find this post quite pathetic

    ReplyDelete

Google+ Badge

Pageviews last month