Five Ways Ceiling Cat Will Make Your Life Better

OK, you knew this day would come: Here are five ways that the world would be a better place if Ceiling Cat, the feline deity, were in charge.

5. Everyday is Sunday. Ceiling Cat doesn't need to rest, but likes it -- a lot. Orthodox theologians have hypothesized that the universe was created by the purring of the celestial kitty. Heretics charge that the universe was an errant fur ball discharged by the Furry One. Either way people shouldn't waste a good Sunday by fighting about it.

The feline with a thousand faces.

4. Ceiling Cat is not narrow, and appears in many forms to humans. I'm sure that God let a lot of people down by manifesting Himself as only one demographic -- Jewish. Ceiling Cat has a multitude of forms, and each one pleases.

3. Ceiling Cat doesn't need to be worshipped, becuase you already love the Almighty Feline. Look, a responsible deity doesn't need to threaten their people with eternal torment to get their affection!

2. Ceiling Cat isn't going to judge you. Though the holy writ states that Feline deity watches all from the infinite ceiling, Ceiling Cat knows how stoopid humans are and can't really punish a species so dumb (the dolphins, however, are another matter...).

1. You will not need to tithe 10% of your net income to any church. However, everyone does need to keep a food bowl in their domicile full, just in case Ceiling Cat pops in. And not with that cheap shit either.


Thanks to Kriss the Sexy Atheist for the idea.

LiP