Saturday, December 31, 2011

God's New Year Resolution!

 Get rid of the beard. God has been sporting the same look for a long, long time.

Sure, the full beard is a symbol of the Almighty's personal brand. It has served Him well. It's kinda like Donald Trump's hair in a way: It demands respect. However, for the new year Yahweh wants to try a new look. A look that sums up His character. A look that encompasses His mercy. A look that says "Here I am b*tches, worship me or else".

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

2 Samuel -- God Is Evil And He Needs An Editor

What God's symbol should be.
I have recently finished reading 2 Samuel, and two things leap to mind.
  1. God, however prolific He may be, needs an editor.
  2. God is kind enough to remind us that He is still a sociopath.
Let's start off with number one. God, just look at how much He has ghost written throughout the centuries. Sure, the books of the Bible have human authors, but true believers are aware that the one who wielded the writing instrument is the Tamer of Leviathan. And what a writer He is! He surpasses Tolkien in producing funny names and creating fictional histories. Just look at this passage from 2 Samuel,

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Will Becomes A Santa Skeptic

I am happy to report that Will, who is nine, has broken through the Santa barrier. He had been a firm supporter of that jolly fellow in previous years. When his younger sister, Ali, questioned any of the logistics concerning a workshop manned by elves, flying reindeer, or how a morbidly obese man was able to fit through our chimney, Will would passionately defend the myth with a variation of the "It's magic" argument. I was getting concerned. From what I've heard about other children Will's age, they ask skeptical questions about this subject, rather than hone their pro-Santa polemics. Was I raising a Santa Claus fundamentalist? Would my boy grow into a sort of televangelist? Instead of selling Jesus he would be garbed in a red suit and fake beard shouting at people that he simply knew in his heart his savior was real or that faith was superior to evidence concerning Chris Kringle. How could life be worth living without Him?

Monday, December 26, 2011

Islam, Islam, Islam

You know, during the Christmas season it's easy for an atheist to get too focused on Christianity, with all the pagan imagery and what not. Now that the holiday is done with for another year it's back to business here in Purgatory...

What faith to focus on this morning?

Let's go with the religion of peace.

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Petition For a Statue Of Hitchens In London

There is an online petition advocating a statue of Christopher Hitchens to be placed in London.

Dear Mr. Cameron and Mr. Clegg,

We the undersigned ask you to please commission, on our behalf, a memorial statue in a prime position within the City of London, honouring national treasure Christopher Hitchens for his contributions to the UK and the world.

Please ensure the statue is made of tough stuff, as he was, and accept suggestions and/or votes from his many fans as to which of his numerous famous quotes to have on the plaque.

Please also ensure that the statue is crafted using the famous, iconic picture of Christopher in the trench coat, as seen on the home of this petition at

Thank you.

Though I agree with the sentiment of having a statue of Hitchens in London, I don't feel the need that the man needs to be shown smoking. It would be something akin to erecting a statue of Ernest Hemingway holding a shotgun to his own head.

Here is the link if you wish to sign.


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Secular Coalition's Voters' Guide

The Secular Coalition for America has just released its voters' guide for the presidential candidates. You can find the basic scorecard here and the complete scorecard here.

What I find sad as well as funny (this is Purgatory, after all) is where the candidates are on the evolution issue. As the scorecard frames it: Does the candidate accept evolution by the theory of natural selection? Does the candidate support the teaching of evolution in all American biology classrooms? Does the candidate oppose the teaching of creationism and “intelligent design”?

Extreme Executive Power

I found the below video on the Arizona Atheist this morning, and though many of you probably already are acquainted with this issue, I felt it was worth revisiting.

"...over the past decade, we have seen an entire political culture involving both Democrats, Republicans, pundits, and lets be honest voters, complicit in constructing a permanent regime of extreme executive power."

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Day Of The Banana

A gangbang of sin!
I was on the site Atheist Underworld the other day and read a post titled Islamic Cleric Bans “Penis Shaped Food”. I followed the link and read the article on the Daily Mail.
An Islamic cleric living in Europe has said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any 'sexual thoughts'. 
The unnamed sheikh was quoted by el-Sawsana news saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male relative, should cut the items into small pieces and serve. 
The cleric said that these fruits and vegetables 'resemble the male penis' and could arouse women or 'make them think of sex,' in a story reported on Egyptian news website Bikya Masr.

Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

The opinion has stirred a storm of anger among Muslims online, with hundreds mocking the cleric.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Race + Religion = Me In A Prayer Circle

I got ambushed by Jesus yesterday.
I ran into a brick wall the other day. Don't worry it was only a metaphorical brick wall. The makeup of said wall was an interesting mixture of religion and race. Instead of being able to navigate around the construct I managed to drive directly into the thing.

I am far from Perfect. If Perfect, let's say for the sake of argument, was geographically located at the corner of 12th and Broadway in NYC (home of the Strand Bookstore), then I would normally be far away and visiting my brother-in-law in the boondocks of Georgia. My only solace would be that a vast majority of my species, homo absuridists, would be considerably further away discussing the nuances of Survivor or Dancing with the Stars. This past Sunday afternoon, however, I found myself very, very far away from Perfect, holding hands in a group prayer, and wondering how the hell I had been able to make such a poor choice.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Tim Tebow's Top Five Reasons For Believing In God

The modern day Socrates.

Here in the Boston area I have heard nothing but Tim Tebow, Tebowing, and other such nonsense, for the past few days due to today's game with the Patriots. I dedicate this post to Tim Tebow and the idiocy that springs forth from that man's mouth. Go Pats!
Tebow's complexity out-complexes the science of complexity.
5. The argument from complexity.
Quietly, Tebow has dazzled the Broncos coaches with his deep understanding of complex offenses. When he showed up to the team’s suite for his interview with the staff at last year’s combine, he immediately rattled off the principles of his offense at Florida. But then he launched into Norv Turner’s digit system as well as the Patriots’ offense, which the Broncos were also using. The coaches were stunned. How had he learned all this?

D'uh! God is the answer.

More awesome than AWESOM-O

4. The argument from awesomeness. Look at the Grand Canyon and what do you see? Millions of years of erosion done by the Colorado River or God? (Hint: all the good stuff is done by God -- all the bad stuff is your own damn fault.) Just like the awesomeness of the Grand Canyon, Tim Tebow's ability to be a quarterback who can also be a running back (the divine coupling known as a dual threat-quarterback ) is proof God exists.

Dude in the front left is totally Tebowing.
3. The argument from math. Just look at Tim Tebow's site and proudly displayed is the mother of all equations:

God Bless + Go Broncos = GB²

See? The Broncos exist and ergo God exists, too. If you don't get the math, you're going to Hell.

Mom knows best.
2. The argument from Mommy and Daddy. His father was a preacher and his mum home schooled the lad in Christian Principles and Philosophy (Cherry Picking Biblical Verses and Rationalizing God's Immorality to you and me).  

Everytime Tim Tebow wins, an angel gets its wings.
1. The argument from winning. What really resonates with Tim Tebow is that Tim Tebow wins football games.  God rewards with wins! Epic wins.
Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Joshua 1:8
Of course, the book of Joshua also endorses genocide, but those women and children had it coming (see point #4).

God's Love Will Send You to Hell.

I was visiting the site Free Thinking Lebanon and found this video. It is of Bryan Fisher from the American Family Association and the host of American Family Radio exploring a specific manifestation of divine love: God loved Christopher Hitchens soooo much that He sent the writer to Hell for eternity.

At the present rate of progress Mr Fisher will soon place the term American Family in the same category of stigmatized terms like: National Socialist Workers Party, liberal, and atheist.  

Just for the record, I never want anyone to love my family that much.

This is Purgatory.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Christopher Hitchens 1949-2011

What do I like most about the late Christopher Hitchens? He was able to confront people, whether friend or foe, with well reasoned arguments and still do it in what I consider to be a genial manner. And he was able to do it spontaneously. This is no small feat. Even the most seasoned thinker can stumble with an off the cuff comment (just look at Dawkins in the dreaded Elevatorgate incident). The *clip below is an excellent example of his charm. In the first two minutes Bill Maher touts the all to common refrain that Europe is far ahead of America in terms of secularization. Hitchens effortlessly offers a retort that while refuting the claim does not insult the one who made it.

Remarkable. You could get the idea that Hitchens could thread the rhetorical needle without the messiness of actually needing thread nor needle.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Peace On Earth???

As I finished up reading 2 Samuel, I came across these verses and decided to put them on our family's Christmas cards this year.

I pursued my enemies and crushed them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
I crushed them completely, and they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.
You armed me with strength for battle;
you humbled my adversaries before me.
You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,

and I destroyed my foes.
They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.
I beat them as fine as the dust of the earth;
I pounded and trampled them like mud in the streets.

You all might be wondering what my Christmas e-card will look like. Here is a sneak peek.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Talking On The Radio About Atheism Part 2

I was in my car on the way to the gym last Monday morning and listening to the Jim and Margery Show on 96.9FM. In the twenty minutes it takes me to get to the Y, I flip between 90.9 (National Public Radio), a wide variety of music stations, and 96.9. That morning there was a conversation concerning the latest battle in the War vs Christmas. It seems that Governor Patrick's (I live in MA) office made the fatal mistake in calling the winter solstice tree a holiday tree. The local religious rage machine had kicked into high gear and demanded the poor misnamed evergreen be brought back to its Christian roots. The host, Jim Braude (Margery was off) is a fairly level headed guy and pointed to the inherent absurdity of the Christmas vs Holiday tree kerfuffle.

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Atheist-Islamo-Fascist Jihad On Christmas - Part Whatever

HIS one eye is
watching you!
Archaeologists have recently unearthed an early medieval hamlet in Germany. Amongst the relics found was a proclamation titled: Keep the Yule in Yuletide. It was written by Angst Wigan who was an extremely wealthy individual for his time. Angst utilized his personal fortune to pay runners to go to local communities and read aloud his editorials defending the traditional Germanic holiday of Yuletide against the Christians who wished to destroy it utterly.

Here is the translation of one of Angst's pieces.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Christmas Trees Or Holiday Trees? Either Way Christianity Is On the Way Out Says Dan Silverman

Turing thinks that you shouldn't
be buying any trees
from the Boy Scouts.
Dan Silverman, president of American Atheists, pointed out the obvious: Obama's use of the word Christmas tree (vs against holiday tree), and singing the praises of Christianity during the holiday tree lighting in Washington DC was absurd. Absurd that other faiths were eclipsed by Jesusism,
It’s a shame that the president totally dismissed the other adherents, the other celebrations that are happening at this time,

Thursday, December 8, 2011

My Email To Rick Perry

I sent this email to the Perry campaign after watching this video.

Governor Perry, as a faith leader in my community I congratulate you on your stance against Obama's war on religion. However, I'm not exactly sure who I will endorse in 2012.  What is near and dear to my heart is the state of Israel. I truly believe that we will not have peace until Israel obtains it's biblically mandated borders as stated in Exodus 22:31 -“I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River. I will give into your hands the people who live in the land, and you will drive them out before you."
Governor, do support Israel in meeting its territorial destiny?

Andrew Hill

Top Five List Of What The Republican Presidential Candidates Are Offering Israel.

A few days ago Republican Presidential Candidates met with Republican Jewish Leaders, and pledged their undying support for the Jewish state. Of course, there was some rivalry between the politicians on who could come up with the best way to please this important group.

5. Give Israel its God given borders. All the candidates agreed that Israel's borders should meet God's specifications.
“I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River. I will give into your hands the people who live in the land, and you will drive them out before you." Exodus 22:31 
Democrats were hasty to point out that the biblical demarcations for Israel would mean that other countries would have to give up territory. Newt Gingrich retorted that the Syrians weren't doing anything useful with that land anyway.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Parenting, Democracy, And Pearl Harbor Day

I can list off fifty
types of Pokemon,
but can't tell you
what democracy is.
There will be times that a parent will feel that they have failed their child in some way. This is a natural part of the parenting process. The amount of work, energy, and resources that go into doing the job right can be, well, daunting to say the least. It is too easy to place the child on autopilot and assume that your kid will pick up the necessary skills, or that somehow important facts will migrate via a type of mystic osmosis from your brain to his or hers.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Penn And Teller On The Boy Scouts

In my continuing series on why the Boy Scouts should be boycotted, here is Penn and Teller discussing the organization. One of the points they go over is how the Boy Scouts act like a public organization when they get state money, and yet they demand they are a private organization when they wish to discriminate.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Street Preachers And The First Amendment

I do not agree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it - Voltaire

This guy makes more
sense than these
street preachers.
The First Amendment that protects reasonable people saying reasonable things also protects unreasonable people unreasonable things -- no matter how distasteful. A recent case involvoing street preachers in Houston, Texas illustrates this point. David Stokes of Bulldog Ministries and Dave Allen of  Horn of were on a street corner in the predominantly gay community of Montrose preaching Bronze Age morality of how atheists, gays, witches, idolaters, well, it's a long list, are going to HELL. Mr. Allen, in typical I'm going to get attention anyway I can  manner, occasionally blew a shofar (rams horn) just in case people didn't see his signs. Here is what happened next.
But police showed up after receiving a complaint. The men shot home video of the encounter, which rapidly escalated. The video shows an officer struggling with Stokes. Officers can be heard shouting at the men and telling them to calm down. 
 What was the crime these Christian extremists were charged with?
Officers handcuffed and detained the men. They also cited them for having an illegal instrument and for displaying signs that were more than a quarter of an inch thick, which violates a city ordinance.
Bad music and signs that violated some obscure arbitrary rule. Not precisely justice.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Don't Buy A Christmas Tree From The Boy Scouts!

Don't buy a Christmas tree
from this bigot.
I was walking along the bike path into Davis Square, Somerville, MA (arguably one of the coolest places on the planet) with my friend the other night, and we passed a group of bigots selling Christmas trees. Those bigots, of course, were the Boy Scouts of America.  I have written a few posts going over how the Boy Scouts receive government assistance for their activities, and yet in 2000 the Supreme Court gave the Bigot Scouts a seal of approval to keep the godless from their ranks.

It's one thing to have your tax dollars spent on an anti-atheist organization without your consent. It's something completely different when you voluntarily hand over your hard earned money to them. Do you want to make a difference? Tell your friends, whether they are atheists, agnostics, or theists who have a conscience, not to buy a Christmas tree from the Boy Scouts. 

Friday, December 2, 2011

Tough Guy Insanity

Tanks first saw action at the
Battle of the Somme. 
 The following is not a fake news story or comedy bit -- it's all 100 % true.

Are there any tough guys out there?

Any tough guys who want to run a mile while carrying a 66 lb cross that is 8 ft high and a 5 foot crossbeam?

If so, than you can be a Jesus Warrior!

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