Monday, February 28, 2011

Atheists Need a Gang Sign

Atheists need a gang sign. Gangs, regardless of their business endeavors, have it right: a simple hand gesture that identifies members. No questions needed. Someone flashes you the sign they’re in the same club. I was in a fraternity as an undergraduate (I prefer to think of it as a charitable organization) and we had a secret sign and handshake. I’m not suggesting a secret handshake, though not necessarily opposed to one. A hand gesture is something you can identify from a distance and, speaking for myself, I think there are hygiene issues with too much handshaking.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Book of Joshua - a Snippet

I'm reading through Old Testament book of Joshua. Joshua is about the conquest of Canaan by the nation of Israel, and has nifty stories in it like Jericho's city walls falling down and the Israelites getting to shower the inhabitants with God's love.
They devoted the city to the LORD and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it--men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys. Joshua 6:21
Yes, even the cattle, sheep, and donkeys. Sinful animals one and all.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Top Ten Wacky or EVIL Commandments

Christians have it easy with having ten commandments. However, Jews have it a bit more complicated with their 613 commandments (mitzvot).

10. Don't have sex with your mum. Well, there goes my Saturday night plans.
'Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her. Leviticus 18:7

The Good Book - a Book Full of Crazy

Found this on Blag Hag. A 14 year old puts the smackdown on the good book.







My comment (and thought it was clever so I'm sharing it) on Blag Hag:

The internet is helping to get rid of Middle East dictators and Middle Eastern gods.

LiP




Thursday, February 24, 2011

God Still Hates the Constitution

Purgatory is not your everyday blog. I see it (and I could be wrong, what do I know?) as info-tainment, the reader gets something to chuckle over and something to reflect on too. Do you know what? I've written a lot of posts and occasionally I want to republish one of the pieces that I like. So here is one from early last year that was originally titled God Hates the Constitution. I think this post is quite relevant since it's popular for some politicians and their lackeys to assume God divinely inspired the Constitution. Enjoy.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It's Official! The Trinity Has Broken Up!

The Theistic Institute of Technology (TIT) made an unprecedented announcement today: the Christian Trinity is breaking up. The news came early this morning to Professor Ernest Merryweather while eating breakfast. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit spoke to him through an egg, ham, and cheese sandwich. Professor Merryweather, being conversant in ancient Aramaic, immediately followed the Holy Spirit's demands: get rid of that unclean ham and spread the word - the Holy Spirit is no one's butt boy.

The Spoof.com

Hey everyone, I've been writing some short pieces over at thespoof.com The site is all about spoof news stories (d'uh) concerning current events, celebrities, etc. The two stories I've submitted so far are: America to the Middle East: Hurry Up! and Mixed Martial Arts: Rush Limbaugh v Michelle Obama. I would republish them here, but once the stories are sent in the pieces become Spoof's property. That being said, I'll send out a tweet (What? You don't follow me? This is a great time to do so.) when a new story is on the site.

LiP

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Am I Raising Bomb Throwing Anarchists?

I was talking with the wife the other day (the kids weren't around) about a story on The Meming of Life. The writer of the blog, Dale McGowan, has a nine year old daughter who won an award in an Evolution & Art Contest. His daughter talked about her award in front of the school but never uttered the word evolution. Dale wondered why she didn't use the word when the contest was about evolution. He came up with a plan.
When she ran off the school bus as she always does, I engulfed her in a hug. “You…were…AWESOME,” I said. “I could never have been so clear and calm when I was nine! Did you think of all that yourself, or did anybody help you with what to say?”

(Subtle bastard.)
“Well, there was one kind of weird thing,” she said. “About two minutes before the interview, Ms. Warner [the teacher] told me I shouldn’t say the word ‘evolution.’”
D'oh!

And d'oh again.

The story had a happy ending and suggest you read all of it - kudos to Dale and his wife for their response to the situation.

Monday, February 21, 2011

My New Super-Cool Religion: EPIC Rides!

I've been cooking up my own homegrown, Purgatory fermented religion and I realized what the faith needs -epic rides.

Think about it, you can have all the funny hats, numbers, and busy work for the faithful to do, but what if their deity (or deities) rolls up in a Vespa scooter? Don't get me wrong scooters are an excellent choice to get around in an urban environment. However, if you are the god of kick-ass and you roll up in one then you have zero street cred and gods live and die by how seriously they are taken.

Odin, aka  All-Father; aka Terror; aka head badass of the Norse Gods, needs a ride that goes with his high status. That's when Sleipnir, the eight legged horse, comes in. Sleipnir is not your run of the mill eight legged horse either. He was the love child of Loki (god of mischief) and the super-horse SvaĆ°ilfari. Yes, Loki and an uber-horse had a love child and that child was the eight legged steed for Odin. That's not the odd part of the story, however. Loki, who is a male deity, was the momma. He had shape shifted into a mare and daddy horse had his way with Loki. That must have made for some interesting conversation around the kitchen table.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Confederacy Strikes Back!

News Flash 
Jefferson Davis Re-Inaugurated as President of the Confederacy!
Legion of Doom Celebrates!

Although the American Civil War has been over for 146 years Jefferson Davis is being re-inaugurated as President of the Confederate States of America. The ceremony is taking place in Montgomery, Alabama the site of the first inaugural. Thanks to the Sons of Confederate Veterans (and black majik, of course) the South shall rise again! Here are some high points of President Davis' speech that have been leaked to the press.
We, the free people of the South, shall not tolerate any tyranny similar to Obamacare. Obamacare is the greatest threat to liberty we have seen...
We, the free people of the South, demand restitution for the injustices we have suffered from our tormentors...
We, the free people of the South, will have slaves - lots of slaves. White people, this is a first come, first served situation so grab as many slaves as you want before they runnout...
Members of the Legion of Doom have sent their comrade congratulations.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Top Ten Reasons Why People Believe in God

10.  It's obvious. God is obvious - no thinking is needed.  The only people who fail to recognize the obvious obviousness of God are either lying (the Devil's playthings) or deluded (the Devil's playthings). Of course, mentioning the fact that it's "obvious" that the Sun circles the Earth (I see it everyday!) doesn't put a dent in this argument...

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Meetup

I threw my Darwin Day party last Saturday. Everyone had a great time. I made a big batch of chili  (made with hamburger, buffalo, and lamb), had all kinds of interesting Darwin facts on the wall (he washed his feet once a month when he was twelve), and the most important ingredient of all - rum. Of course, seeing that I was drunk it was necessary to launch into a rant when Amy Chua's name was mentioned.

But this isn't about my Darwin Day party.

This is about my attempt to start a local atheist group. 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Abortion and Darwin Day

You have probably heard of South Dakota's Republican supported House Bill 1171. The bill, in short, would classify murdering doctors who perform abortions as justifiable homicide. A few murderers of abortion doctors have attempted to use justfiable homicide as a defense, but to no avail. If this bill passes it will, at the very least, implicitly support the idea that it's OK to murder those doctors.

(*An update on House Bill 1171 - The sponsor of the bill, Rep. Phil Jenson, is reconsidering the language of the bill.
Jensen met with South Dakota attorney general Marty Jackley Wednesday morning and now says he may drop the bill entirely, the Rapid City Journal reports. Any consideration of the measure has been postponed to next Tuesday while Jensen decides on his next move. Another option under consideration, according to the Journal, is "amend[ing] the bill to make it clear that abortion providers don't fall under HB1171's purview." Jensen could do that pretty easily:


Where HB1171 says homicide is justifiable while resisting an attempt to harm a fetus "to a degree likely to result in the death of the unborn child," Jensen could insert four words: "to a degree that is unlawful and likely to result..."
Only time will tell.)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy Birthday Galileo Galilei

Galileo Galilei was born February 15, 1564. He discovered of the 4 Galilean moons of Jupiter, figured out that two objects that have different weights fall at the same rate, and supported heliocentrism (the sun centered model of the solar system). Of course, it was his support of heliocentrism that got him into trouble with the Catholic Church, because everyone (everyone who didn't want to get into trouble with the Church) knew that the earth did not move. More information about Galileo Galilei and his work can be found at The Galileo Project.

Here is my high school astronomy teacher's favorite rock song.



Monday, February 14, 2011

An Atheist's Valentine's Day



Here are a series of  haiku to celebrate this awesome holiday. Two of the haiku have links about the holiday.


Looking for a card
Two squirrels and a nut joke
Hallmark holiday


The secret to love?
A high tolerance for pain
Funny, but untrue(?)


Six in the morning
She tells me that we're over
My stuff in trash bags


I lived a dream
Summer days and autumn nights
We were holding hands




Hindus on the streets
Protesting Valentine's Day


Darwin Day Party
On Valentine's Day weekend
I got very drunk


Writing valentines
With my five year old daughter
Where is her mother?





Sunday, February 13, 2011

Kentucky - State or Asylum?

Kentucky is looking to be the Christian-crazy capitol of the country.

It's bad enough that the state is home to the Creation Museum and the soon to be built Noah's Ark theme park (yes, genocide can be fun!)
Last Wednesday, Kentucky's state senate voted 34-1 in favor of forcing every high school to have an elective class in the Bible. Don't worry, this is NOT indoctrination, everything is on the up and up.
Supporters stressed that the course would not advance a religion, as it’s designed to be strictly a historical look at the impact of the Bible in western culture.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Happy Darwin Day 2011

February 12, 2011 is the 201st birthday of Charles Robert Darwin. I have a small get together planned this evening in honor of the man. It's simple: some friends, some decent food, and some not so well known facts about Darwin that I'm placing on the walls.

A good resource on the holiday is the International Darwin Day Foundation website. You can find out interesting stuff like..
I hope you all have an enjoyable day whatever you choose to do.

LiP 

Friday, February 11, 2011

Top Ten Acts of God I'd Like to See

The term Act of God is used when nature smacks the hurt on us. 

I say that's a lame definition. Any respectable deity can do something more awesomely awesome than having your roof collapse because there is too much snow on it. Here are my top ten Acts of God that I'd like to see.

10. God proves he exists. You would think this would be as easy as pie. I don't know where that term came from; I have made pie and let me tell you it ain't easy. The divine being may choose any suitable method as long as it's not when Supernatural is on.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Battle Hym of the Tiger Mother - a Review

Amy Chua and her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother has been everywhere. You can't get away from this graduate of Harvard Law School and current Professor at the Yale Law School. Over the last few weeks she has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, the topic of an opinion piece in The New York Times by David Brooks, an article I found at the Huffington Post War Cry of the Values-Based Parent by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, in the Economist, and has been on the Colbert Report.  I have finished the book for a week, but I couldn't deal with writing my overall thoughts on the book. You see, I've have overdosed on Amy Chua. How can I tell? Well, I have launched into two drunken tirades about the woman when her name has been brought up amongst friends. Every once in a while I've had to write a post in response to something that is in the book.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

This is so F*cked Up I Can't Think of a Title

I found this on Outta the Cornfield and this is a great ad about not raising boys to be rapists. Who could argue with that?

Answer: Many people.

The video got on Youtube and ... well, that's when the craziness started. This is from the article in the DesMoinesRegister.com
A men's blog that linked to the commercial said it promotes hatred of men.


The blog drew comments such as: "That is such a disgusting ad" and "I teach my son whenever I can: never protect a woman" and "Josh Jasper [who made the video] should suffer the same fate as Nazi sympathizers after WWII - taken out and shot after a five-minute trial."
Wow. It doesn't take much to stun me, but color me stunned.


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

This Atheist Says No

I spend my day saying no.

No. I'm not saying "under God" during the pledge of allegiance.

No. I'm not going to eat the flesh and blood of your dead god.

No. I'm not going to pretend to say grace at the dinner table.

No. I'm not taking my hat off in a church.

No. I'm not going to pretend to agree with you when you say I will never live to see an atheist president.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Amy Chua - Blame the Husband Too

I promise that this will be the second to last post about Amy Chua and Tiger Parenting. I'm done with Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and before summing up my thoughts about the book in its entirety I'd like to explore a section that struck a personal chord with me.

In chapter 31, Red Square, Amy, her two daughters, Sophia and Lulu (thirteen and sixteen at the time), and Jed, her husband; were seated at a cafe in Red Square, Moscow. Then it happened... the Caviar Incident. Lulu decided not to try the caviar. Here is what happened next.
... Lulu said, "Eww, gross," and wouldn't try it.
... "Lulu, you sound like an uncultured savage. You can put a lot of sour cream on it."
"That's even worse," Lulu said, and she made a shuddering gesture. "And don't call me a savage."

Friday, February 4, 2011

Top Ten Christian Fundamentalist Reactions Concerning the Middle East

10. Egypt needs to be carpet bombed with Bibles and guns. Gas up the bombers. Egyptians need God (the right one, that is) and guns ... lots of guns. Guns always calm people down in high pressure situations. It goes without saying that the Bibles and guns need to have been made in the good old US of A.

9. They need tax breaks. Look at the good the Bush tax cuts did for this country. Tax breaks for everyone!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Kill Your Kid and Get Probation

Read the title and any sane person would say, "That's crazy talk! You can't kill your own child and just get probation. After all, what jury armed with evidence beyond a reasonable doubt wouldn't convict a child killer? What judge would let someone walk after committing one of the most heinous acts possible?"

One guess.

It's an obvious one.

Wait for it.

Amy Chua vs the Enlightenment

I have decided that this quote from my favorite nurturing motherly type, Amy Chua, Tiger Mother extraordinaire, needs to be shared in a post.

...Chinese parenting is incredibly lonely - at least if you're trying to do it in the West, where you're on your own. You have to go up against an entire value system - rooted in the Enlightenment, individual autonomy, child development theory, and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights... - p 161 of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

I tells ya, everyday I raise my fist to the heavens and curse the god of atheism for the Enlightenment and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights! They, my friends, are the real enemy.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is a lot like a slasher movie. In a slasher movie a character has to die every 8 minutes or so. With Battle Hymn Amy Chua writes some batsh*t crazy line every few pages. she has the formula down pat.

LiP

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

My Letter to the Mormon Church

I read a lot: magazines, newspapers, books, blogs, what have you. The reason why I read so much may surprise you. On the other hand if you've been in Purgatory for a while you will shrug your shoulders and say "of course." 

I read and keep myself informed in order to make cheap jokes.

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