Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Top Ten Reasons Why My Atheism Is Better Than Your Christianity

The Greeks simply told better stories.
10.  At no point in time do I have explain a talking snake. Don't Christians feel a bit silly talking about all the evil in the universe being caused by talkng reptile?  I think the Pandora's Box myth is more realistic than: snake+apple = damnation for all.

9.  I don't have to listen to poorly sung hymns. All the beauty of the human voice is lost when one drones out the verses to Amazing Grace in a church full of people who can't sing.

8. Porn. I'm not saying I watch it, but if I did then I'm certainly enjoying it more since I don't think I'm going to Hell for it.

7. Having to explain that Christianity is monotheistic. Let's see, you have God the Father; God the Son; and God the Spirit - it's obviously self evident that Christianity is monotheistic.

6. Explaining how women are equal with men while saying that men are more equal in some circumstances. Mind you, it turns out that some circumstances translates to all the freakin' time.

*All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others
5. No excuses. I don't have to explain to my kids that all the devastation in the world is due to the talking snake from #10 or part of the plan of some divine sadist.

4. Pedophiles. Not bringing my kids to church means that they are less likely to be groped, fondled, and buggered. It's freakin' obvious.

3.  My symbol is an A. Your symbol was a method of capital punishment. As Lenny Bruce pointed out, If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. 

2.  In the zombie apocalypse I'm going to live. Know why? When you're praying I will be reloading.

Zombies love it when you pray.
1.  There is no way that I am in the same club as: Sarah Palin, Michele Bachman, and the Pope. OK, we're in the same species, but even that kinda bugs the living crap outta me.


* Animalism from the farm 


  1. And 2 very obvious ones: I can sleep in on Sundays and I don't have to give 10% of my gross earnings to the church. Ha!

  2. Cab I stuck your clock?


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