Friday, June 3, 2011

Cow Pee - Gods' Miracle!

Haven't you heard the latest? Cow pee is awesome!

This particular story illustrates the problem of allowing superstition to be the guiding force in one's personal life. It leads to a cul-de-sac of insanity.

Like using cow urine as medicine.

I have found tasty magic in the rib area.
Cow urine - mmm mmm good!

Oh Hinduism, will you ever stop giving me material so that I can make fun of you?

Apparently not.

I found this on my buddy's (@Hinduism_TRB) twitter feed: Benefits of bathing with water mixed with cow's urine (Gomutra) . Intrigued, I clicked, and found a cornucopia of knowledge about our beloved barnyard friend's urine. provides a laboratory analysis of cow’s urine and shows that it contains nitrogen, sulphur, phosphate, sodium, manganese, carbolic acid, iron, silicon, chlorine, magnesium, melci, citric, titric, succenic, calcium salts, Vitamin A, B, C, D, E, minerals, lactose, enzymes, creatinine, hormones and gold acids.

Wow, I can't believe there isn't a late night infomercial about the stuff. But, let's continue...
However, is this chemical composition a magic formula for spiritual healing?
I'm guessing, yes?
Our research shows that there is in fact an X-factor above and beyond Gomutra's chemical composition that actually makes it special as a spiritual healing tool. We found that the chemical composition has no relevance to Gomutra’s healing ability.
I got tricked! There is no medicine in cow piss. What's the secret? Keebler elves?
...the Indian cow is the only animal which has the ability to attract the frequencies of all the Deities in the universe. As a result, any discharges or by-products such as milk, Gomutra (cow’s urine) and cow dung inherit these frequencies and are considered ttvik. The Indian cow’s urine has the ability to attract up to 5% of the frequencies of all the Deities in the universe.
Let's define the term sāttvik. What is it? It's the essence of pure existence. What are its properties?
For an object or food to be sāttvika, it must be uncontaminated and should not spread evil or disease in the world.
Cow sh#t doesn't spread disease? Really?  And how do we know that cow pee attracts up to 5% of the frequencies of all the Deities? Is there a double blind study in a peer reviewed journal that I can see?

What is the procedure for using majikal cow pee?
Directly applying concentrated Gomutra on an affected body part. Drinking a few cc of Gomutra is also recommended as a means for spiritual healing.
This is a huge selling point for cow pee: You can drink it and use it as a topical lotion.  However if you want optimal cow urine than make sure the animal is happy and you use the magical liquid within 5 years.

I wish this was all a joke.

But it isn't.

This is Purgatory.

1 comment:

  1. hi laughing gas,

    would you like to laugh some more?

    you deserve to graduate from piss to shit, maan!

    punch into google search AGNIHOTRA, GHEE, COW DUNG FUEL VADAKAYIL

    capt ajit vadakayil


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