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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Reagan Heir To Run For President

I WILL make Congress roll over!
Hey everyone, I just got home from DC and thought I'd share this bit written for my other blog The Newest Newsy News. Enjoy.

Rex the IV, the great-great grandson of Ronald Reagan's Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, became the first Republican to confirm his plan to run for President of the United States. Rex made the announcement on his daily radio program Flees, Democrats, and Ticks: America's Pests. He stated that America needs the Gipper's spirit, and he is the right dog, at the right time to make Congress sit down and obey.


Rex immediately went on the offensive and savaged would be Republican hopefuls, Mitt Romney? Sure, He's got the hair, but how can the the hero of commie-mandated medicine call himself Republican? Mike Huckabee? That guy is picking fights with Natalie Portman. He's the Joe Biden of Republicans. Sarah Palin? Hey Sarah, I'm sending my rubber chew-toy to debate you, and even then the Las Vegas odd makers will favor Mr Chewy 3:1 to beat you.

Rex's run for the White House has electrified the Republican base as well as the Tea Party. "That boy is the complete package: a shiny coat, floppy ears, and big brown eyes that the ladies will die for," said Louisiana Representative Maxwell Dean Fox. Glenn Stolidus, one of the top leaders of the Tea Party, had this to say, "At first I was concerned that Rex was under the constitutionally mandated age to be president. Then I realized that although Rex is six, he is forty two in dog years."

President Obama declined to comment on the recent turn of events. An anonymous White House source doubts that Rex IV is an American. After all, wasn't King Charles English?


* This story is 100% fake.
**Picture from wikipedia and Claire Mainwaring

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