Wednesday, March 2, 2011

From Christian to Atheist

I was reflecting on how I developed from being a Christian to an atheist. I thought I'd use the power of free art to illustrate my journey.

On the left, is my conception of Christianity before the age of six. Everyone has happy faces! Check out all the stars. Look! There is the miracle: a huge gaseous fusion engine is sitting on top of the manger.

Oh, that guy on the right? He was pretty important too. You can pray to Jesus, but Santa delivers.

This is what happened at age six. No happy faces. Crying, weeping, and a fairly graphic depiction of how that baby (remember him?) later got nailed to some wood.

The silver lining?

He did it just for me.


What a thing to tell a six year old. I would've done anything as long as I didn't have to think about that!

Here I am hauling faith in a Christian mine during my preadolescence years. Indoctrinating children into a superstitious belief system takes work - for the kid. Memorizing bible verses, reciting the books of the bible, doing youth choir, not just knowing that Jesus loves you, but HOW MUCH he loves you... you get the idea.

Photo by YemeniteCamel

Do you know why there is so much faith based work to be done when you're a kid?

One word...

Theoretically, all those bible verses I memorized were supposed to keep me from masturbating. Final score?

Biology: 1,000,000,000 
Christianity: 0


Then I met this guy, Carl Sagan. Carl visited every Sunday night on PBS with his series Cosmos. Even though I had known about the dinosaurs, evolution, and the Church's persecution of historical uber-smarties (Copernicus, Galileo, etc.), Sagan packaged those ideas together so that the idea questioning the existence of God was acceptable - even necessary. 

If I belonged to a rational species then the path would've been fairly clear.

However, there is no such animal. So...

I was generally confused. My head wasn't really on straight. I had all varieties of woo-ish ideas ideas knocking around in my head.

College helped.

Travelling helped.

But a lack of information wasn't my problem.

I was still confused. God probably didn't exist. But I still didn't get my mind around what that meant.

What I needed was a moment of clarity. Having children gave me that clarity. Many people revert back to their faiths when they have kids.


 Because they are scared sh*tless. Having kids are scary. People revert back to what they know under pressure.

Me? I was scared sh*tless, too, but I'd been in enough crisis situations to figure out that praying wasn't going to help. No. Figuring out what my role is an atheist and a father and following through was the solution.

And here I am.

That's my story...

from Purgatory.

1 comment:

  1. When I had my kids I didn't want them exposed to the religious bullshit I was seeing all around me! Baptism, communion and all that crap! My problem was that I was indifferent about it and let the ex wife decide. Now she's a born-again nutter, went from Catholic to Pentecostal. I went from being indifferent to a militant atheist! Boy do we fuck up our kids...........


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