Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Prayer as Terrorism

"I am praying for you."

When I hear that there can be a full range of responses.
  1. Indignation This is fairly common response from atheists - especially if the Sky Fairyist knows you are one of the godless.
  2. Sarcasm "Gosh, can you pray for God to pay my yearly Economist magazine subscription? It's fairly expensive...[to be continued below]" I find sarcasm to be a close second amongst my peers.
  3. Make sure that person never says it again by rambling I call this the Grampa Simpson Defense. I will continue the Economist magazine rant from above."... and I just had to buy two cars a few months ago [this is true] and even though they were used, expenses do add up. That reminds me of when I was painting my fence this past October..." The other person will flee. They will think I'm insane, but I get that anyway.
  4. Laugh the laugh of EVIL  This is my nuclear option. I watch the McGlaughlin Group, a geeks news show on PBS, and they often have "Mad Pat" Buchanan on. After watching Pat for years I am now able to simulate his EVIL laugh. When he unleashes it an angel loses his wings - at least a Protestant angel. You do know that angels are segregated by sect, right? Unfortunately, there are only so many angels to go around and the Shakers only have one. Tough luck for them. They should've procreated a bit, eh? But I digress, the laugh of EVIL will discourage anyone from ever talking to you again.
However, when people say they are praying for you they typically are not asking God to kill you.

Typically.

Leave it to Pastor Wiley Drake (really, that's his name) to being a leading figure in terrorist-praying. This guy has a shock team of prayer warriors ready to kick ass with the power of imprecatory prayer! What is imprecatory prayer?  Well, its base word is imprecate which means to invoke evil on : curse. How nifty is that! Pray really hard and God will put the hurt on someone.

You would think that the crazy Christians (not all Christians support this idea) would find "proof"  for imprecatory prayer in Deuteronomy where a lot of crazy sh*t is written. You would be wrong. The power of holy cursing is laid out in Psalm 35 (NIV translation).

1 Contend, LORD, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me.
2 Take up shield and armor; arise and come to my aid.
3 Brandish spear and javelin[a] against those who pursue me. Say to me, “I am your salvation.”

4 May those who seek my life be disgraced and put to shame; may those who plot my ruin be turned back in  dismay.
5 May they be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the LORD driving them away;
6 may their path be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them.

I'm not going to bore you with the rest of Psalm 35 (checkout the previous link if you want the whole thing). Suffice it to say that there is gnashing of teeth and that sort of thing going on.
 
The good pastor has prayed for abortion doctors to be cursed along with President Obama. He's sooo crazy even FOX radio called him out.
 

 

Pastor Drake has recently sent a letter to all 100 US senators.

The message?

I am watching you, and you will be held accountable for any ungodly behavior.

What does a lunatic's letter look like?

I'm glad you asked.

An Open Letter


To: The United States Senate

From: Congressional Prayer Conference of Washington D.C./Telephonic Prayer Team

We would like to inform each of you that as you take your new term January 3rd in the year of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ 2011, we will pray for each of you daily, by name.
Each Senator's name will be voiced during our daily prayer meeting.
Members, staff, or anyone can join this prayer meeting daily.
Simply call 1-712-432-1690 and put in access code 399430 #
8:00 am to 10:00 am EST, Washington D.C. time.
Those wishing to communicate via E- Mail their requests and concerns can do so at

telephonicprayer@hotmail.com

Congressional Prayer Conference of Washington D.C.
6801 Western Ave.
Buena Park, California 90621
Telephone 1-714-470-9225

Pastor Wiley S. Drake Sr.
1-714-865-8132 cell

I like the fact that the good pastor will be praying for each senator by name. If you're looking to intimidate people it's best to add a personal touch. Luckily for all of us prayer doesn't work. However, it's the loons who listen to Pastor Drake's prayers we all have to worry about. You always have to worry about the crazy and the violent.

But you know that.

You live...

in Purgatory.

1 comment:

  1. This is just to let you know, the phone # for pastor wiley is live and wiley will speak to you!

    ReplyDelete

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