Thursday, October 7, 2010

Freedom of Speech is AWESOME! or Yoga is of the Devil

Why do I think freedom of speech is awesome?

Is it because I can say practically anything I want without the government putting the hurt on me?

Not in this case.

Is it because free speech helps to keep our mostly free society mostly free?

Getting warmer.

Is it because incredibly wrong people will say incredibly wrong things and point out how incredibly wrong they really are?

I guess we have a winner.

As an Atheist and comedy writer my life is made much easier when folks grab their First Ammendment right by the nutsack and say, "World, I'm going to say something so ridiculous that even mainstream American culture will say it's crazy!" The crazy talk comes from Southern Baptist Seminary President Albert Mohler (check out the full article here). Wow, and the Southern Baptists have been sooo reasonable in the past. What kind of crazy talk is Dr. Mohler saying?

The evil of yoga - the Devil's exercise.

I always thought that Jazzercise was Lucifer's chosen way to stay in shape (though Sweat'n to the Oldies must be a close second). I think exercise is the natural ally of supernatural evil. My personal trainer is a sadist and there is a whiff of sulfur about him at times.  Regardless, I'm sure Dr. Mohler has his well formulated reasons against yoga.
"..the idea that the body is a vehicle for reaching consciousness with the divine. That's just not Christianity,"
He is not alone in condemning yoga. Pat Robertson says yoga is "really spooky" (of course an Italian sub without mayonnaise is really spooky to that guy). Many Muslim countries ban the practice of yoga. If you can't trust Pat Robertson, Dr. Mohler, and autocratic Islamic countries, who can you trust? Don't you know the equation of truth?

Christian extremists + Muslim extremists = Universal Truth

I'm going to have to be straight with you, those Christian loons are kinda right.

Yoga, (I'm using the book Hinduism by David R. Kinsley (1982)) is considered a method to stop the countless cycles of rebirth. Basically, Hindus (most) believe that people are trapped in a cycle of birth-death-birth-death-birth... well you get the idea. The goal is to stop these nasty cycles and attain release. Ego-self is destroyed so there isn't any heaven as Muslims/Christians understand it. This does not sound like an ideal system if you ask me. I would prefer the Woody Allen method.
I don't want to become immortal through my works. I want to do it by not dying.
Amen to that. 

Yoga is (as described in the Yoga Sutras) an exercise where the practitioner masters his bodily functions with his mind. Once that happens the mind is to be destroyed into a sea of eternal bliss (from page 87 from the book listed above).  Presto! No more irritating birth-death cycle!

I don't think this Mohler guy has much too worry about. Many women do yoga to get an awesome butt (have you seen those Hard Tail ads in the Yoga Journal?) and men do it to look at the women (or other men if that's what you're into). Yoga is about as subversive as Pilates (do Pilates long enough and you'll join the Tea Party. Extra credit given if you get the joke). My suggestion is that he should adopt the physical exercisey parts of yoga and then repackage it as Jesus-ercize.

What I really want him to do is to keep talking the crazy talk. This guy is a walking advertisement for Atheism.


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