funny hats, and numbers coming outta my ass but there is nothing for the faithful millions to do? Those millions are going to go back to their internet porn if they are not constantly reminded that they are part of the bestest religious quackery around. Let's see how other religions get their goddies up and moving.
Islam - Jumping Jesus these guys have it down cold! One of the 5 Pillars of Islam is the salah - ritually praying 5 times a day. In Saudi Arabia they have prayer police to make sure your ass gets to the mosque and perform your godly busy work. Let us not forget that Muslims also have Ramadan, an entire month dedicated to fasting during the daylight hours. You can't forget the Sky Fairy when your tummy is rumbling and you're still praying 5 times a day. That's love - divine love.
here for a partial list). They have a waking up prayer (woo-hoo! I'm not dead!), a washing hands before a meal prayer, a prayer for eating fruit, one for eating non-fruit produce, a prayer for avoiding dangers like childbirth or other illnesses. I forgot the most important prayer of all! The prayer for the ritualistic bath after a woman has menstruated. A woman is spiritually unclean after menstruation (d'uh) and the prayer washes the nasty away, along with the water of course.
baptizing dead folk (no, I'm not making it up) and working really hard to become gods.
I don't know how I'm going to keep followers of my new super-cool religion busy, but there's one thing for sure.
Hands will not be idle.
this is Purgatory.