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Friday, July 9, 2010

Introducing Laughing In Purgatory University!

OK, OK, OK...

I'm not making this up.

Glenn Beck has started Beck University. It's totally online so your learning doesn't get distracted by differing opinions of other students. Indoctrination at it's best!

You heard me right. Glenn Beck is the mastermind of  America's quantum leap forward academically. One simply has to become an Insider Extreme member of Beck's posse (starting at only $6.26 per month) and you too can take these challenging courses.

Here is the curriculum vitae.

Faith 101
Hope 101
Charity 101
Faith 102
Hope 102
Charity 102
wait I'm noticing a trend...
Faith 103
Hope 103
Charity 103

In the spirit of Beck University I too will start an online University. I'll call it Purgatory University or PU for short. I haven't kicked out all the problems yet, but here is a list of classes.

Masturbation 101 (yes, everyone can do it but can you do it well?)
Getting Your Head Outta Your Ass 101
Identifying Scams 101 (also known as: Don't Join Beck University or Avoiding Religion)
Masturbation 201 (yes, it can be done better)
Identifying Lunatics 202
God Hates the Constitution 203
Masturbation 301 (there's a written and an oral exam )
Stone Cold Skepticism 302
Mormonism 303
- Here we will delve into mysteries like: the special Mormon underwear, God lives on a planet named Kolob, and Yes! You too can become a god if you're a good Mormon.

You knew that Glenn Beck is a Mormon, right?
Yes, that means Glenn Beck thinks he can be a god someday.
Yes, that means Mitt Romney thinks he can be a god also.

Just another day of lunacy...

In Purgatory.

13 comments:

  1. My jaw is just about on the floor. I thought you were making the Beck U classes up, but I googled Beck University and holy shit--it's all true! I'm going to go scream in a pillow and then vomit.

    Can I use this (and cite you) on my blog?

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is totally awesome. I want to teach the room clearing and basic demolition classes. Can I, can I, huh, huh?
    PUHLEEEEEEZE?????

    ReplyDelete
  3. Consider yourself part of the faculty, GM.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yessssssss....
    Hope you've got a lot of insurance...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Does PU offer a graduate programs in...lets say...masturbation?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like the idea. However, I am interested in obtaining an advanced degree. Will you be offering masters and doctorate programs?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Can I play on the online football team? I want to be captain.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have to admit that I was a little disappointed when I found out that Beck U was not a real university but an online scam.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your university probably would have real classes that people would actually want to take. I can't wait to see what comes after "University of the People."

    ANYONE can be a college or university now, and accreditation is a matter of setting up or buying out a midwestern foundation in someone's basement. All it takes is enough people saying on paper "Yep, it's good," and you're accredited.

    SRSLY.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Do you offer job placement services? I'm sure Beck U does.

    ReplyDelete

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