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Saturday, June 5, 2010

God Hates The U.S. Constitution


It's true! God hates the U.S. Constitution. What part does he hate? The Supreme Court? The 15th Amendment that protects a person's right to vote regardless of race (more on that later)? Maybe Prohibition (the18th Amendment), Jesus did turn that water into wine.

Nope.

Nada.

Uh-uh.

God hates that pesky First Amendment.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...
Yep, it's either been YAHWEH or the highway for a long, long time and by the highway I mean death. But I get ahead of myself.

All of us, born and raised in "Christian Nations" know the story of Moses and the 10 Commandments. We learn this story in Sunday School.  Moses and the nation of Israel are schlepping around on their journey to the Promised Land. Moses goes up to Mount Sinai and gets the 10 Commandments. In his absence the people of Israel wuss out and make a statue of a Golden Calf to worship it (Me? If I were around I wouldn't want to worship anything, but especially a calf. I mean, we kill those critters. What about a badass animal like a lion or something?). Moses returns, takes a shit fit, breaks the two tablets of Commandments, scolds the baddies, and returns to the mountain and gets another pair of tablets. The people of Israel return to the ways of their loving YAHWEH. That's the story I learned as a kid.

It didn't really shakeout that way. I'll let the Bible speak for itself.
And he (Moses) took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it. - Exodus 32:19
Yikes! Somehow I doubt my defense of, "I was against the whole Golden Calf thing at the get go. OK, I wanted a golden lion, but that should get me off the hook about drinking the gold-water mixture, right?" would work. 

That punishment seems severe to me, but YAHWEH needs to crack some eggs to make his omelet. Moses gets the sons of Levi to man-up and...
...Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbor.
And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses: and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men. - Exodus 32: 27-28
About three thousand give or take.

My Sunday School teacher left that part out.  

So the next time some crazy Christian Militia wants to take over the country and trample on the Constitution they are only following Moses' example.

Because God hates religious freedom.

Because this is Purgatory.

Other posts that won't make you vomit. 

2 comments:

  1. Most of the so called Christians take the Bible completely out of context.

    Having studied the book about 30 years ago in high school I remember it sealing it for me that it was all bovine effluvia.

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  2. I couldn't agree more.

    "Properly read, the bible is the most potent force for Atheism ever conceived." – Isaac Asimov

    I love that quote and it sums the argument up so well.
    I actually posted an article about the contradictory nature of God and Hell according to the Bible.
    http://www.teenageatheist.com/2010/06/hell-burning-contradiction.html

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