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Monday, May 24, 2010
My New Super-Cool Religion!
I want a piece of that action! Sign me up for all the juicy religousy infallibility, authority, and obedient believers I can handle. Beware, I can handle a lot! To this end I am crafting my own faith. It's going to be super, super good because I am learning from the mistakes of other cults...
Catholics: Having a bunch of pedophiles running the show is a poor idea. Who runs their HR?
Baptists: I'm going to get rid of the Hellfire stuff. It's buzz kill. There will be divine punishment, but it will be more of the moderately irritating kind... maybe having to listen to Myley Cyrus sing for a looooong time (It's Party in the USA comes to mind).
Islam: I like the scapegoat angle. Whenever somebody in my super cool faith has a problem I need a group to blame. Obviously, the Jews are sooo yesterday's scapegoat. I need a scapegoat not just for today but for tomorrow too. I have picked the Andorans. No, not the Star Trek Andorrans but people from the harmless country nestled between Spain and France. More on this later (in the manifesto/religious tome).
Mormons: I hear that you can become a god if you play by the rules under Mormonism. I have to top that! Not only can you become a god under my faith but I'll give you your own Marvel comic book series along with a blockbuster summer movie franchise (it may or may not have Robert Downey Jr. in it).
Buddhism: No idols. I don't need statues that make me look fat (-ter).
This is only the beginning!
I only have to flesh out some minor details.
In case you have forgotten...
this is Purgatory.
Other posts that you may like:
A Devlopmental Leap Forward For Will
A Patriot's Duty: Decatholicization
God Is Evil Santa!