Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Me and The Stupid Stick

I have a new service that I provide, The Stupid Stick, (checkout others under the, Services I Provide page) and I'm sure people will be beating down my door for it! For a small fee I will arrive and smack someone repeatedly with the Stupid Stick. The Stupid Stick comes in many forms...

  • The Gentle Stupid Stick OK, gentle in comparison to different models of the Stupid Stick (see below). The Gentle Stupid Stick is a long, narrow PVC pipe (it's very flexible) with foam duct taped around it. It features a foamy tip for stabbing the intended stupid recipient. I have used such a weapon of non-destruction while doing live action role playing (that's for another post). It doesn't really hurt but the other person knows they are being smacked.
  • The Not-So-Gentle Stupid Stick Now, some people may say it's only a wiffle ball bat, but I say it's several wiffle ball bats. These plastic bats bend easily so I will need to bring several along for a session.
  • OMG! Why Doesn't Natural Selection Work Fast Enough? Stick This is really the most costly of the bunch. Not because the aluminum baseball bat costs a lot, but I have to plan a getaway and possible flight to a country with no extradition treaty with the U.S. (I think that leaves me Cuba and North Korea).
But why would you need such a service?
  • You are running a political rally and you need quality control. Let's face it any large rally (of any political party or cause) will produce lunatics dressed up in crazy costumes. Those are the people who will be on Youtube representing your group. They need to be beaten down. I suggest The Gentle Stupid Stick or the Not-So-Gentle Stupid Stick.
  • Politicians. Anyone who hasn't been saying that our country's finances have been shot for years deserves The Stupid Stick.
  • The Pope  He would be the recipient of a session (or two).  Do I have to explain why? I humbly suggest the OMG! Why Doesn't Natural Selection Work Fast Enough? Stick.
Contact me quickly! I'm sure my schedule will fill up quickly.


  1. Do you believe it possible for me to acquire a franchise of this service in mexico City? I'm already offering the service using human fists (mine) but I believe your technology could significantly improve our costs overall the valu chain.

  2. Yes! I plan to have a franchise kit set up by Christmas! In the meantime keep up the good work!


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