The Most Tedious Month

I'm throwing a party on Saturday. It's my, "Yay, Obama hasn't gotten shot" party. I've decided to throw a party every February regardless of a reason. I need to pep it up. If you are a regular reader of my blog you are well aware (or not) of my personal jihad against this particular month.

February isn't a cool month with a cool name like July or August which was named after Julius and Augustus Caesar. No. February was named after the Roman purification festival of Februa. Februa seems like it was a pretty lame holiday. It was a festival cleaning and washing (I'm not making this up... thanks Wikipedia). So February has sucked for a long, long time.

It doesn't help that I've got a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder. It's not like I have a full blown malady, rather during the winter I have difficulty getting anything accomplished after it gets dark. I live in Massachusetts so it gets dark at 4pm during the dead of winter and that can be... limiting. February isn't the dead of winter rather it is the last leg of a really really dark and cold marathon. Ick.

This post isn't about February however. It's about diversity.

I have a very diverse group of friends. I have Big Lefty Democrat friends. I have religious friends (hard to believe but true). I have friends who don't think global warming is real. The thing is...

they are all white.

White. All of them. Sure, I have many Jewish friends, but if you were to walk into any of my gatherings you would think you were in a ski lodge. Trying to say it's a diverse grouping of people is tough when they all look Caucasian.

So I have a conundrum when I invite non-white people to my party. I feel like I have to say something beforehand. Otherwise, they could show up and say something like, "Andy, I didn't know you invited me to a local meeting of Republicans," or something like that. It's just as bad when I invite someone gay. I mean, I wouldn't call myself a guy who rigidly accepts the social norms for male behavior (I like musicals and I watch Logo since they are showing repeats of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) but I feel like I should let them know that there will be a lot of straight people at the gathering.

I muddle through these episodes the way I typically muddle through most things, poorly.

Luckily at the party there will be the magical brain tonic of alcohol. It's what Homer Simpson refers to as, "The cause of and solution to all of life's problems." My brain demands I drink a lot at times and who am I to argue with it?

And that's my upcoming party in Purgatory.