Saturday, January 30, 2010

My New Best Friend or Who The F@ck Are You?

I had innocently logged onto Facebook and checking stuff out when I realized I had a new friend request. I have a policy about adding new friends. Now, I know a lot of people use Facebook for networking and they are Facebook whores (I don't mean it in a bad way) they'll friend anyone.

Me?

Uh-uh.

I know I should be more "friendly", but I really, really dislike a lot of people. I don't like talking to them, I don't like being around them. Maybe it's a character defect deep down in my fictitious soul. Maybe these aforementioned people are assholes.

It's a mystery. I'm comfortable with that.

Anyways, I decided this would be my friend policy: If I'm not willing to sit down and have a pint of beer with you (or something like that) than you're not gonna be my Facebook friend. I'm forty-one and I've avoided being superficial this long with nary an ill effect. I think I'll make it to my dirt nap following this policy with nary an ill effect.

But I'm not here to talk about my Facebook friend policy.

I'm here to talk about girls.

This person who attempted to friend my is named Ying Gallenstein (I'm sure it's her real name). Supposedly she is twenty five years old, blond and by her picture likes to rub against walls (someone should sanitize that wall). On her Facebook wall she writes about her latest pajama party with her girlfriends and she has a video of it to boot. She kindly points out that she is in her bra and panties in the vid.

Wow. It's just like a Jane Austin story.

Needless to say I didn't friend her. Sorry, I've hit my quota of confused lunatics a long, long time ago.

This is not the first time a twenty-something girl has tried to be my friend. I wonder how they found me? Did they search under middle aged DWG (Dopey White Guys)? What's scary is that this tactic must work some of the time otherwise they wouldn't do it.

It's just another day of Facebooking in Purgatory.

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