"The questions of this Street will not be solved through diplomacy, but by Iron and Blood."
- Oscar von Grouch concerning the unification of peoples on Sesame Street. (You get super bonus geek points if you get this historical reference!)
"Ha! Another sign of the Apocalypse!"
- Satan upon hearing about Sarah Palin's second book deal.
"God save me from my friends, my enemies I can deal with on my own."
- Obama's prayer concerning the Democrats and health care.
"He's still alive?"
- God upon hearing John McCain is running for re-election.
- Head Priest at Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School regarding the expulsion of a preschooler with gay parents. (This is a true story, the quote is not!)
"Thank God the Catholics have a group to pick a fight with! Otherwise we may remember that they support and protect pedophiles!"
- Andrew Hall in response to Catholic Charities in Washington DC dropping health care benefits for spouses of all employees rather than pay for spousal benefits of gay workers. (Actual quote and a real story!)
"See, slave labor works."
- Head A-hole of China about his country's projected GDP growth of 8% this year.(Real story... the quote is true, but made up.)
"Recon... Reconstriction... Reconstitutionary... What?"
- Bush the Younger in response to the charge by Great Britain's Prime Minister that the U.S. is to blame for the horrible job at reconstruction efforts in Iraq. (Real story and who knows? Maybe W has trouble with that word too!)